1.
Why do seniors always carry a pencil? Because
they want to draw on their years of experience!
2.
I told my grandpa he was aging like fine wine.
He replied, 'Well, I hope I don't end up in a glass!'
3.
Why did the senior citizen bring a ladder to
the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
4.
Did you hear about the senior who started a
health club? He called it ‘The Golden Years Gym – where you lift weights and
your spirits!’
5.
Why don’t seniors play hide and seek? Because
good luck hiding when you’re as old as you feel!
6.
You know you're getting older when your back
goes out more than you do!
7.
What’s a senior’s favorite exercise? Running
out of patience!
8.
Why did Santa ask a senior to help deliver
presents? Because they’re experienced in ‘sleighing’ all day!
9.
What’s a senior’s favorite holiday song? ‘I’ll
Be Home for Christmas – Right After My Nap!’
10.
Why do seniors love Christmas? Because they’ve
got all the ‘presents’ they need!
11.
What did the senior say when they saw their
first snowflake? ‘Guess winter wanted to add a little salt and pepper to the
season!’
12.
How do seniors deck the halls? With lots of
‘rest-ivus’ cheer!
13.
Why did the grandpa put on snow boots? To walk
through his ‘winter years’ in style!
14.
Why was Mrs. Claus shopping for memory foam?
Because Santa’s back goes out more than he does!
15.
Why do seniors make the best gift wrappers?
They’ve had years to master the art of ‘presenting’!
16.
What’s a senior’s favourite Christmas treat?
‘Hard candy canes’ – just like the ones they hand out year-round!
17.
What does a senior write in their holiday
card? ‘Season’s Greetings and a Happy New Rear!’
18.
Why did the grandma hang extra stockings? She
heard Santa was giving out ‘senior’ discounts!
19.
What did Grandpa say about the holiday rush?
‘You kids go ahead. I’ll catch up after the eggnog kicks in!’
20.
Why did Santa put seniors in charge of the
Christmas caroling? Because they know all the old classics!
21.
What’s a senior’s favorite holiday dance? ‘The
‘Rockin’ Chair Rock!’
22.
Why did grandma bring her knitting to the
holiday party? So she could ‘string together’ some good times!
23.
What’s a senior’s favorite reindeer? Blitzen –
because they can relate to feeling a bit ‘blitzed’ after Christmas dinner!
24.
Why did grandpa put ornaments on his walker?
To show he’s still got some ‘holiday spirit’ in him!
25.
Why do seniors love Christmas trees? Because
they can add a little ‘spruce’ to the season!
26.
What did the senior say when they forgot to
set up their Christmas lights? ‘Guess I’m just too old to be lit!’
27.
How does Santa keep his beard so white? He
uses ‘Just for Men’ – for his ‘North Pole’ look!
28.
Why did Grandma knit a sweater for Rudolph?
Because he always had a ‘cold nose’!
29.
What’s a senior’s favorite part of Christmas?
All the ‘wrappings’ and none of the ‘unwrap-pings’!
30. Why did Grandpa put out extra cookies for Santa? Because he remembers what it’s like to have a sweet tooth!
31. What did the senior say about the holiday hustle? ‘I’m just here to sleigh – and stay out of the way!’
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