Celebration of 56 years of marriage with a joke a day for August

 At least my wife appreciates my sense of humour on a good day, here are some Jokes & Puns  for August 

1.      I’m so hot, even my sweat is sweating. August really brings the heat!

2.      I tried to catch some fog this morning... but I mist.

3.      I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, just like a good beach read.

4.      I’m not saying it’s hot out, but I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts. 🐿️

5.      The beach called... it wants its sandy puns back.

6.      I made a splash at the pool party… mostly by tripping over the cooler.

7.      I burned 1,000 calories today. I left my pizza in the car. 🍕🔥

8.      I went outside and poof, medium rare.

9.      August is when my flip-flops become my sole-mates.

10.  Don’t trust the ocean. It’s always up to something fishy.

11.  Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re a little shellfish.

12.  Ice cream is my summer melt-down prevention strategy.

13.  I told my plants to stay cool... now they’re giving me the cold leaf.

14.  My lawn and I are in a relationship. It’s complicated, especially in August.

15.  I’m currently on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

16.  You know it’s August when even your shadows are sweating.

17.  My August budget: 10% bills, 90% iced coffee.

18.  I wanted to be a lifeguard... but I couldn’t go with the float.

19.  August is just July with extra attitude.

20.  My air conditioner and I are in a very committed relationship.

21.  Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter.

22.  This August heat is a real grill-seeker’s dream.

23.  I’m just trying to stay chill in a season that won’t let me.

24.  I don’t sweat, I sparkle... profusely.

25.  Why are bananas popular in summer? Because they have a-peel.

26.  My vacation plans? Avoid responsibilities and tropic like it’s hot.

27.  The only thing rising faster than the temperature is my electric bill.

28.  I tried to play hide and seek in the heat, but I couldn’t sweat the small stuff.

29.  I like big umbrellas and I cannot lie. ☂️

30.  August is just a reminder that fall is coming... but my AC doesn't believe it.

31.  I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient. Happy end of summer!