Dignity and possibility.at 80

 My cousin Lorraine sent me this, I adapted it for my age and added some ideas so that those who are my age can have Dignity and possibility.

I am in my 80^th year, so, I sat in my favorite chair, looked back at my life, and thought and the truths I had known  all my life began to surface.

Kids? They’re busy writing their own story.
Health? Slips away faster than sand through open fingers.
The government? Just headlines, promises, and numbers that never change your daily reality.

Aging doesn’t hurt your body first, it hurts your illusions.

So I sat down with myself and carved out a handful of necessary truths.

Kids don’t save you from loneliness

Children grow, life pulls them in every direction, and you become a memory they visit when time allows.

You smile… and yet something inside you may remain  strangely hollow unless you have someone to share the smile with..
Kids bring joy, but they are not a shield against loneliness.

Health is not forever
One day, the outings you once jumped into with enthusiasm feel like a marathon.
You realize health was never a background character,
it was the main pillar holding your life steady.

Retirement and money
Retirement is not a reward, it’s a reality check.
Depending on the system is like standing on thin ice.
Bills grow, needs grow, prices grow but support doesn't.

Here are ten practical rules for living with dignity at any age but are important as you start the final stages of your time here..
Rule 1: Money is more reliable than anything else.
Love your kids, cherish them
but don’t make them your retirement plan.
Save for yourself.
Even small savings create big freedom.
Financial independence is dignity.

Rule 2: Your health is your real job
Nothing else matters if your body refuses to cooperate.
Move. Walk. Stretch.
Guard your sleep like treasure.
Eat cleaner. Reduce the poison disguised as sugar and salt.
Illness doesn’t discriminate,
but it respects those who take responsibility for themselves.

Rule 3: Create your own joy
Waiting for others to make you happy is the fastest way to heartbreak.
So you learn to enjoy the small things —
a peaceful breakfast, a good book, music that warms the soul.
When you know how to make yourself happy, loneliness loses its power.

Rule 4: Aging is not an excuse to become helpless
Some people turn aging into a performance of complaints.
And slowly, even those who love them start stepping away.
Strength is attractive.
Resilience is magnetic.
People respect the ones who stay capable, not the ones who surrender.

Rule 5: Let go of the past
The good old days were beautiful, yes.
But they’re gone, and there is no return ticket.
Clinging to the past steals the present.
Life today may look different, but it still holds moments worth living.

Rule 6: Protect your peace like it’s your property
Not every argument needs your voice.
Not every insult needs your response.
Not every relative deserves access to your emotions.
Peace is expensive.
Protect it from drama, negativity, and draining people ,
even if they're your close ones.

Rule 7: Keep learning something, anything
The day you stop learning is the day you start aging.
A new recipe, a new word, a new app, a new hobby
your brain needs movement just like your body does.
Learning keeps you young.
Stagnation makes you old.

Rule 8: Relationships need tending, not expecting

Friendships don’t “just happen.”

They are planted, watered, and sometimes replanted.

Waiting for the phone to ring is a lonely strategy.
Make the call. Invite someone for coffee. Say yes when it would be easier to stay home.

Connection is not automatic anymore—it’s intentional.
And when you choose it, even in small ways, life answers back.

Rule 9: Your story still matters, share it

You don’t need a stage or a book deal.
Your story matters to a neighbor, a grandchild, a stranger sitting beside you.

Tell it. Write it. Pass it along.
Your mistakes carry wisdom. Your wins carry hope.

At our age, you no longer have to keep proving yourself.
You are contributing simply by being honest about the road you’ve walked.

Rule 10: Accept help without giving up control

Independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone.
It means choosing how support fits into your life.

Let someone carry a bag, drive you, explain the new form.
That’s not weakness—it’s strategy.

Pride isolates. Wisdom adapts.

You stay in charge when you decide where help ends and self-respect begins.

At my age the noise fades.
What’s left is truth, clear, sharp, and strangely freeing.

You no longer live on promises or illusions.
You live on choices.

You may move slower.
But you still choose how you show up.
You still choose dignity over despair, engagement over retreat.

You are still here.

Still thinking.

Still sitting in your favourite chair,

Still capable of shaping the days ahead.

And for anyone lucky enough to reach this milestone,
that truth alone is reason for hope.

 Strength and freedom still belong to you

Aging is an exam no one can take for you.
You can adapt, rebuild, and rise stronger…
or sit back, complain, and wait for someone to rescue you.

But most likely no one is coming to rescue you, and that’s not a loss.
It’s a reminder.
And when ....
No one comes to rescue you ....

Stand up for yourself ...

Because you still can..
And that single truth is enough to transform the rest of your life.