31 Puns and Dad Jokes About Spring, Summer, and Still Going Strong

My last post on boomers turning 80, so this is in honour of the first Baby Boomers turning 80, and the myth that seniors are slowing down, here's one joke for every day of the month. Enjoy while having a coffee, preferably while sitting in the sun.

1.      I told my doctor I was worried about slowing down. He said, "You're 80. You're not slowing down. You're just shifting into scenic mode."

2.      Spring has sprung, and so have my allergies. At this age, I'm not sure if I'm sneezing or just practicing for my eventual exit.

3.      My neighbour asked if I was planting my garden this spring. I said, "Absolutely. I've got perennials older than you."

4.      You know you're 80 when you look forward to spring cleaning because you finally remember where you put everything last fall.

5.      I love spring. It's the only time of year I can blame my creaky joints on the weather and not just being 80.

6.      Summer arrived and I bought a new lawn chair. It's not that I plan to do less. I just plan to do it sitting down.

7.      My granddaughter asked if I still water ski. I said, "Honey, at my age, getting out of the bath is an extreme sport."

8.      I told my friends I was training for the Senior Olympics. They asked what event. I said, "Getting up from the couch without making sound effects."

9.      Spring is when I finally put away my winter coat. By which I mean I hang it in a different closet until next October.

10. My wife asked why I was staring at the garden. I said, "I'm waiting for the tomatoes to grow. At 80, you learn to enjoy the slow shows."

11. I love summer barbecues. Nothing says "I'm still vital" like standing over a grill and pretending the smoke isn't making me cough.

12. Someone asked if I use dating apps. I said, "No, but I use a pill organizer. Same thing, really, sorting through options."

13. Spring is here, and I've started walking daily. Two blocks to the café, two blocks back. By summer I hope to make it three.

14. My doctor said I need more vitamin D. So I sat in the sun for an hour. Then I needed a nap. That's called multi-tasking at 80.

15. I told my grandson I used to run marathons. He asked if I still run. I said, "Only to the bathroom."

16. Summer means patio season. Nothing makes you feel young like sitting outside and complaining about the heat with people your own age.

17. I asked my friend how he stays so active. He said, "I chase my hat on windy days."

18. Spring is when the world wakes up. I wake up too, eventually. Usually after coffee. Sometimes after second coffee.

19. My wife said we should take up biking. I said, "I'm 80. The only thing I'm pedaling is my version of what actually happened."

20. Summer evenings are the best. Nothing beats sitting on the porch, watching the sunset, and trying to remember what you did that day.

21. I saw a senior wearing a shirt that said, "I'm not retired. I'm a professional grandparent." I asked if I could borrow it. He said, "No. Get your own."

22. Spring cleaning is simpler at 80. I just throw things away and hope I don't remember needing them later. So far, so good.

23. My friend said he's taking up bird watching. I said, "That's just regular watching with binoculars because your eyes are shot."

24. Summer is here, which means I can finally complain about the heat instead of the cold. Variety is the spice of life.

25. I told my doctor I feel like I'm slowing down. He said, "You're not slowing down. You're just moving at a speed that matches your ability to remember what you were doing."

26. Spring is when I start my annual attempt to organize my garage. By summer, I've usually organized it into piles I can no longer see around.

27. My wife asked if I still feel passion. I said, "Absolutely. Passionate about where I left my glasses."

28. Summer is great for naps. Spring is great for naps. Actually, all seasons are great for naps. That's the secret.

29. Someone asked if I use social media. I said, "Yes. I'm very social. I wave at people from my lawn chair."

30. I told my kids I was thinking of downsizing. They thought I meant the house. I meant my dessert portions. One cookie is not enough, kids.

31. Here's to being 80. We're not slowing down. We're just moving at a speed that lets us enjoy the flowers, complain about the weather, and make jokes about our knees. It's called living.

Happy spring. Happy summer. Happy 80 years of proving that growing older doesn't mean growing quiet.