Most of the people I associate with, are happy people and accepting of the age we are, but some people I noticed are angry at the fact they are getting old. I thought about this and came to the realization that they were going through a grieving stage. The experts tell us that there are stages of grief. Some of those stages include denial, depression and acceptance. But one that many of us experience is anger.
While we most often associate grief with the emotions when a loved one passes away, we can go through grief about a lot of things. People go through grief when their house burns down or when they lose a job or a pet. An area of loss that we don’t often lump in with grief causes is the physical decline of ageing.
You can detect that you or people you know are experiencing grief from their loss of youth from comments they make. It is common to hear them look back with remorse at lost youth and with the loss of functionality and strength that happens when we age. As we see our strength decline and perhaps go through one of the many natural ailments of ageing such as arthritis or problems with elimination, it is not uncommon to see a response of anger result from their impatience with these problems.
Nobody asked to get old. And I am sure that if we could put it to a vote, ageing would lose the election to continue to be part of our lives. As much as people hate to grow old, your loved ones hate to see it happen to you. And while you may not see it happen, your family is grieving the loss of the “young mom or dad” as much as you are.
The problem with being angry about growing old is there is nobody to take it out on. The result is often we lash out at those closest to us because the frustration with our ageing bodies causes our temper to flare up spontaneously and a loved one or caregiver is the one who is handy to get mad at. You know this isn’t fair and when it happens, you are sorry. So, it would be good with finding ways to cope with the anger about ageing in a productive way.
This kind of coping is necessary so you don’t lash out at the innocent. But it is also healthy for you to learn to cope with the ageing process because stalling out in the grief process will create tension in your emotional system, which can cause physical problems such as ulcers or problems sleeping. So how do we get rid of the anger that some naturally feel at seeing their bodies decline?
A wise person once said that we get angry because of a false sense of entitlement. It comes when our expectations do not line up with reality. A false sense of entitlement comes when we come to the conclusion that we do not deserve to get old. The best way to confront and put aside that sense of entitlement is to recognize it. No matter how much you loathe ageing or wish you could go back in time to when you were younger, know that ageing is a fact of life.
Even Hollywood stars have to accept the effects of time. Actress Goldie Hawn says ageing is "all about how you make it." "It's all in your mind." George Clooney has said though there's "nothing fun about ageing," you just have to make the best of what you've got.” But if you can recognize that consciously, it will help take anger out of the loop when you are coping with the effects of ageing.
Resolution of grief comes when our expectations line up with reality. The attempt to deny the advance of years is the sole cause of the midlife crisis in your younger days and that emotional response to ageing can create devastating results as the one in crisis tries to behave as though they are not growing old and make bad decisions based on that concept.
So too, if you can recognize that these problems are the natural result of ageing and the best thing to do is to take care of yourself to try to minimize their impact, you will live with a much healthier attitude toward ageing. By focusing on your diet, your exercise, a wise use of alcohol and drugs and doing all you can to stay rested and emotionally sound, you will see the negative effects of ageing become minimized. Taking walks or doing balancing exercises can help. A Harvard study of over 1,600 older men and women found that adding light exercises to your routine, even if you didn't work out before, can make you over 25 percent less likely to become disabled.
Whether you're watching a funny video on YouTube or cracking jokes with friends, laughter truly is the best medicine. A 2014 study found that just watching 20 minutes of funny videos improved memory in older people and also reduced their levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Some studies have also shown a link between laughter and a lower risk for heart disease. So, go ahead, have a laugh. Just don't worry about the wrinkles. Moreover, you will be a happier person and that shift in your emotions can go a long way toward keeping you young at heart. And that is the best way to turn back the effects of ageing from the inside out.
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