Visiting a person with Dementia

How to make your visit a great source of support for someone living with Alzheimer’s or another dementia.

“Conversing, engaging, digging from the past and incorporating it into a conversation is one of the best brain exercises you can get.  The sad part is that there is a good chance the person won’t remember you, your visit, or the conversations you had, but they will remember how it made them feel.  Even if you’re just smiling and holding hands, seniors benefit from that on so many levels. When my wife had her brain aneurysm and she was in recovery I saw her every day, and I think it helped her recovery.

Be prepared
Speak to team members or family to find out when your friend will be most cognitively alert: it could be over a mealtime or during an activity they enjoy. Arrive with conversation topics or old stories supported by mementoes, such as photos, an old college jacket—whatever connects you. Read about dementia in advance, so you have a better understanding of what to expect from someone with age-related brain changes.

Focus on communication
Pick a quiet place to meet to minimize noise and distractions. Use simple sentences, give the person time to respond and don’t hesitate to prompt a senior by repeating what you said. If your friend goes off on a tangent, try to jump on board their train of thought instead of bringing them back to yours.

Plan for behavioural changes
Just as no two people are alike, no two seniors with dementia will behave exactly the same. Some may act giddy, flirty, playful, elated, confused, scared, childlike, unmotivated, anxious, sad or distant. You may see the person crying, pacing, fidgeting or acting like there’s a pressing need to go somewhere or do something. Don’t feel insulted by unusual behaviours, such as if you’ve come all this way and your loved one is talking about leaving (exit-seeking can be common). If you’re nervous, check in with their care team upon to find out if there’s anything you need to know about challenging behaviours, and how you might handle any that arise.

Time to connect
Engage in an activity or conversation that taps into your friend’s past. It’s helpful for seniors with Alzheimer’s or related dementia to have someone with whom to reminisce and share memories. Using touch and nonverbal reassurances can help make conversations more interactive and meaningful. From a cognitive perspective, your visit is helping nurture and strengthen the brain.