Time for some humour

My aunt's beloved cat Ginger had grown seriously overweight, so, she decided to take him to the vet to find out if there was anything wrong with him - and more to the point, whether anything could be done about it. So, she put him into the kitty-carry box and drove to the surgery. The doc prescribed a course of pills, and my aunt left, happy in the knowledge that Ginger would soon be his slim old self again.

But after a few weeks of taking the pills, there was no change: Ginger was as fat as ever. Soon months had gone by, and still, there was no difference. In fact, if anything, it was getting worse. The other problem was the invoices from the vet, these pills were costing a fortune. It soon became clear to us all that Ginger had become a doc-billed fatty puss.

Opportunity may knock once, but the temptation bangs on your front door

Forever

For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.

Car accidents are not always easy to explain, as evidenced by the following insurance form statements written and submitted by the unlucky drivers themselves:

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I thought my window was down, but I found out that it was up when I put my head through it.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A fsh

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

I try not to let my mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.