Time passages

In early October, my son had something completely unexpected that occurred to him. Something that shook him to the core.

I’m not going to describe or explain the situation - but I will tell you how I suggested we responded to it.

First, we talked about it and his mom and I did a fantastic job of saying everything he needed to hear at that moment. 

Next, he worked his way through a few cycles of anger, sadness, disbelief, and despair. Everyone grieves at their own time, and he is still going through the cycle and will for a few more days. But each day is getting better.

Then, I suggested he go for a nice long walk. I often find that walking helps to clear my head and refocus my perspective.  He said no, he had other ways of thinking about situations, He took the time to ask what he could learn from the situation I suggested my son find a way not to take it to bed as he would have sleepless nights, but he did not act on that suggestion for a few days, and then he was able to focus on other things and now he is getting a good night’s sleep.

It took a few days but he put together a plan, which he shared with his mom and I. His plan included:

·       What he was going to do to shake off the feeling left by the situation.

·       How he was going to incorporate the lessons that the situation had taught him - what changes was he going to make.

·       How he was going to be on alert over the coming days and weeks for signs of the negativity and doubt creeping back in and what he would do to guard against it.

My son called his trusted friends and told them about the situation and what my plan was to move forward.  His friends listened without judgement.  That’s what great friends are for! Time heals all wounds but when a person suffers a loss you just have to be there for them.