Grumpy old men

Listening to music, relaxing with my friends, watching people are great pastimes and allow me the luxury of watching and thinking. I have noticed that I am seeing more and more of the idea of the cranky old man. We have seen him on TV, in movies, and in cartoons. Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau do a great version of him in the movie Grumpy Old Men. This character seems to dislike everybody and everything. Step on his lawn or get in his way at the store, and you will know it. Make a mistake to ask him about the government or taxes, and your ears will burn for a week. Not wearing a face mask. British author Carol Wyer has a different name: "irritable male syndrome."  This character is always portrayed as retired, but he is not living a rewarding retirement.

I have seen the stereotype in many places, but not very much in person. The people I see and interact with in the seminars that I give on wellness and the members of my senior’s association tend to be incredibly positive. I wonder why writers, and others think that so many “old” people become bitter and negative?  There is a perception that those who are enthusiastic about life, stay positive and keep fit as they age are a rarity.  This is a sad commentary on how society sees ageing. People I know do make deliberate decisions to not complain about their aches and pains because they know they have to get on with life and perhaps do it a bit slower. However, we still see the world as a beautiful place, but it does take work.

 

For the most part, the seniors I know do not end up inflexible and intolerant. Those that do may be suffering from undiagnosed depression.

The one thing about depression is that the person that is depressed can't see it. The depressed person believes they are seeing the world as it really is (terrible) and usually it's the people around them that notice and urge them to get help. If someone doesn't have people around them that care about them enough to insist, they get medical and professional help it can just go on and on never being resolved. This not a “do it yourself” condition. A person with depression cannot just buck up and look on the bright side, count their blessings and so on. The upside is that it can be successfully treated so do not give up, it has made a heck of a difference to our life. A poem by Dylan Thomas that, I think speaks for many of us who are ageing and who are fighting to keep the world a better place is below:

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.