Punography

 

1.          Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

2.          I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

2.   Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

3.          I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

4.          Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

5.          A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

6.          I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a  reaction.

7.          Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming.

8.          I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

9.          Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

10.    I've got some unemployment jokes, but none of them work.

11.    PATIENT: Doc, I keep having these dreams. First, I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?

12.    DOCTOR: You need to relax. You’re two tents.

13.    I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure!!

14.    A friend said she did not understand cloning. I told her that makes two of us.

15.    I once heard a joke about pizza. It was cheesy though...