Some needed humour

Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will..." – Here are some other Laws you may not have heard! 

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. 

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it  needed replacing anyway 

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't. 

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. 

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply. 

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. 

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. 

Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder! 

I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. 

Here's a sure-fire two-step method to cure yourself of smoking in bed. First, buy a water mattress. Second, fill it with gasoline.

While in the checkout line at my local hardware store, I overheard one man say to another, "My wife has been after me to paint our shed. But I let it go for so long that she got mad and did it herself." His friend nodded. "I like women who get mad like that.