Originally, I imagined retirement would be about peaceful time off to chill, travel and finally do all the things that I squandered during my working years. However, afterward, I discovered retirement is not only a space for having your free time; it is to navigate a new life and tempo where not only is someone else affected, but they are also all relationships and my sense of purpose. And I came to understand, as any big change in life does, that retirement (or the similar) needs to be considered, needs conversations, and frequently may require a spoonful of trial-and-error cooking.
Here is a huge shock, retirement transformed the
relationship dynamic with our very own! I assumed that more time spent with my
spouse would be a good thing, but the fact that we were on two different paths created friction. If one retires early and the other has to cling to work for
survival, you may begin to feel like both of us are living in separate worlds.
Two retirees: and shared space 24/7 becomes an ordeal, when you have to share
everything…with the same spouse.
Communication was the solution I discovered — being honest
about what each of us wanted from retirement informed everything. We figured
out how to spend time together and apart, observe each other as a part of daily
life without being a pain in the butt/ another thing to do (that is to our
presumed selfishness from veteran travel life), but also allow us to engage in
new things just like accommodate for some solo adventures.
Being gentle with ourselves (Flexibility, the opportunity to be
patient and a touch funny helped us get through the crumples).
Solo retirees experience the change, not as grand but much
in the same way. Initially, I thought more time would naturally bring more
connection, but I found out that most of my friends were still working or had
hectic lives. That's when you discover, the practice; whether it be reigniting
old friends, getting involved in different social circles or doing whatever it
takes to find people in a similar boat. Retirement isn't a time for
isolation, on the contrary, you might well put more depth into existing relationships
or start something new.
Retirement is not a time to be alone; it is when you start investing some time in relationships or creating new ones.
After relationships, one of the hardest battles I had to
fight was finding something to do with my days. Retirement would finally be a
break I had always hoped for, but after a few weeks of it I started feeling
restless. The lack of work structure sometimes left me just standing there
asking, "And now what?"
I believed the gap would fill itself with bits and pieces of hobbies, travel, and family time, but then I discovered that purpose is not just staying busy; it is searching for something that fulfills you. I soon discovered that doing something meaningful involves volunteering, taking on a new passion or interest, mentoring, or working part-time. I mean, purpose is not going to come to you; it's something that you create for yourself.
Retirement is a journey, not a destination. To adopt, it will
take time, and it is normal not to feel perfect right from the start. The good
news is, that you get to shape this chapter in a way that works for you—whether that
means deepening relationships, discovering new passions, or simply learning to
enjoy the slower pace of life. Whatever path you choose, know that you’re not
alone in figuring it out.
Remember, retirement is a journey, and it’s okay to take
time to figure things out. If you’re feeling stuck, consider seeking advice
from a counsellor or joining a support group for retirees. Websites like AARP’s
Relationship Resources offer helpful tips for maintaining strong
relationships in retirement.
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