In the last post I talked about my cousin, and some of you thought my cousine might have been depressed. He
wasn’t bitter or depressed, just resolute. My cousin believed retirement was his time to rest. He told me, “I’ve worked all my
life. Now I deserve to do nothing.” And he lived by it. He didn’t join social
groups, didn’t take up hobbies, didn’t even help with tasks around the home. He
sat in his chair and watched television. Within a year, he was gone. While no
one can say inactivity alone was the cause, I can’t help but feel that the
absence of purpose, the lack of something to cultivate, played a role.
Contrast that with another friend of mine, Margaret, who has
created a garden of life in her retirement. Literally. At 70, she turned a
small patch of yard into a flourishing vegetable garden. What began as a
pastime became a passion. She shared tomatoes and cucumbers with neighbors,
swapped recipes with friends, and even began teaching a gardening workshop at
the local seniors’ center. Gardening gave her more than vegetables, it gave her
community, exercise, and joy.
Rest as Recovery, Redefinition as Growth
Rest is a necessary part of any transition. We all need time
to recover from decades of work. But lasting vitality in retirement comes from
redefinition, finding new pursuits that give life texture and meaning.
Margaret’s garden illustrates this perfectly. She wasn’t just tending plants;
she was tending her sense of identity.
The Risk of Withering
When people stop cultivating purpose, their lives can
wither. Psychologists call it the loss of “role identity.” Without something
that says, “This is who I am now,” people feel adrift. Retirement becomes a
vacuum, and in that vacuum, time feels heavier, not lighter.
A Different Kind of Garden
Redefinition doesn’t have to look like gardening, of course.
One man I know took up painting in his 80s, surprising even himself with his
talent. Another started writing family stories to pass down to his
grandchildren. Some find redefinition in travel, others in community work. The
activity matters less than the intention: to cultivate something that brings
purpose.
A Story of Renewal
Take the example of George, a retired accountant. He thought
numbers defined him. But once retired, he decided to join a choir, something
he’d always been curious about but never had time for. Singing challenged him,
frustrated him, and delighted him. He laughed when he told me, “I never thought
I’d trade spreadsheets for sheet music, but here I am.” In redefining himself,
George found new energy and joy.
An Invitation to Cultivate
Retirement can be a fertile season, if we choose to plant
seeds of meaning. Whether through gardens, music, volunteering, or family, what
matters is that we keep cultivating. Rest may refresh us, but redefinition
sustains us.
Like Margaret’s garden, our retirement years can
bloom when we nurture them with care.
