PUNOGRAPHY

1.          Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

2.          I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. 

3.    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4.          I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

5.          Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

6.          A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

7.          I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

8.          Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

9.          I once got into so much debt that I couldn't even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

10.   Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

11.    I've got some unemployment jokes, but none of them work.

12.    PATIENT: Doc, I keep having these dreams. First, I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?

         DOCTOR: You need to relax. You’re two tents.

13.    I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure!!

14.    A friend said she did not understand cloning. I told her that makes two of us.

15.    I once heard a joke about pizza. It was cheesy though....

Perks of being over 70

Should seniors be allowed to get young pets?

One of my best friends lost his long-time pet dog to cancer about six months ago, and he is now looking for a new dog. I am sure it is a good idea for him and his wife but he tells me that getting a new dog will make them happy. I told him I was not sure that getting a new pet was a good idea for the dog. Let’s face it some dogs and other pets may live for 15+ years. As seniors, there is no guarantee that we will outlive our pet. In Canada, the lifespan of a male is about 83.5 years and a female is about 86.6. My friend is in his 70’s and he may not beat the odds and live more than the average, so what happens to his pet when he dies?

This raised the question in my mind, should Seniors be allowed to have young pets? I know that in BC, some adoption agencies for pets, will not allow seniors to adopt young animals, because of the issue of illness and life-span. They will, however, allow seniors to adopt older pets. I personally think this is a good idea. There are many benefits of having a pet as a senior. Pet ownership can: Lower blood pressure, relieve stress, combat loneliness, ease depression, and encourage activity for seniors, Offer a greater sense of worth and offer security to their owners.

Pets for the Elderly Foundation gives results from the Baker Medical Research Institute, Australia’s largest cardiac centre, on its research page. Studies show that pet ownership:

· Reduced rates of developing heart disease

· Lowered cholesterol levels

· Reduced systolic blood pressure in female owner

There are some negatives that come with owning a pet. Roughly 86,000 injuries a year are reported in the United States due to pets, usually tripping over them. If your pets are anything like my brothers, when it is dinnertime, they are running circles around him. Also, going up and down steps with an energetic pet can lead to a fall. Also, drivers over the age of 70 are twice as likely to be involved in an accident if a pet is in the car. Pets also can contract diseases, so seniors with comprised immune systems may wish to look more into their personal conditions and the risks of having a pet.

When my friend and I talked about his desire to get a new pet, he told me that he and his wife had talked about it and had considered the following when they made their decision. He told me that they considered the health and age of the pet they were interested in owning? They considered the fact that young pets require attention and training, and they decided on an older pet, even though old pets require care and accommodation. They recognized that cats and dogs, depending on the breed, can live up to 15 or 20 years, and it was a commitment they were willing to make.

I asked him if they had thought about what would happen if they could no longer care for their pet? They had and they had a commitment from their daughter that she and her family would take the pet.

Finances are always an aspect of life, and pets require money just like anything else. Since his puppy died, my friend has done a lot of research looking for his ideal pet so he and his wife have an idea of what they are getting into. He does not want the new member of his family to become a financial burden.

Technology and Ageing

I was giving a workshop on Technology and Seniors to a group of seniors in North Vancouver and in the audience were a number of grade 6 and 7 students who were taking part in an intergenerational project.  I started the workshop by talking about the fact that seniors can learn just as effectively as young people, it may take us longer to learn but we can learn. I saw a couple of the students look very surprised at this. However, the collective body of research clearly shows that creativity and learning have life-long potential. Given adequate time and support, seniors are able to learn and learn effectively. This, of course, includes learning new technologies

Adults who were productively engaged in learning new skills showed improvements in memory compared to those who engaged in social activities or non-demanding mental activities at home. People of all ages are able to learn new things including seniors. The following chart taken from Stats Canada Daily Briefings released 2017-11-14 shows the percentage of seniors in Canada who use any particular technology.

Seniors use desktops, Laptops and touchscreen tablets (iPads) because they have become easier to use. Tablets are quite easy to use due to their touchscreen for surfing the internet, chatting, or e-mails, there are few computers which give you the portability and ease of use for a relatively low price point.

Among 65- to 74-year-olds, 81% of us use the Internet. When we are searching seniors look for information on health. The most commonly researched item for us is health research. However, not all sources on the Internet are reliable. I tell my friends and others to be careful as to what you read on the Internet or Facebook or any social media site, especially health information.

The Internet is a great resource and a tool to help you to become more knowledgeable and increase awareness. However, always consult a healthcare professional for any health advice, including prior to engaging in physical activity.

I love learning and see technology as a great opportunity to expand one’s horizon. There are some great sites online for online (free or low cost) courses for seniors and mind improvement sites online. Here are some that I share when I give my workshop on Technology with seniors.

Digital Learning: Online Courses

Stanford University has joined forces with iTunes U, Apple’s downloadable education service

The Khan Academy is a global, not-for-profit organization dedicated to providing a world-class education to anyone, anywhere.

Coursera provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online for a low fee. With online learning, you can study from anywhere.

Youtube in addition to general learning for example How to Hang a Picture, YouTube a has a channel dedicated to learning including University courses and general courses

Senior Planet has a list of free online courses for Seniors

Open Education Consortium, a global network of colleges and universities that provides free digital course materials.

OpenLearn website gives free access to both undergraduate and graduate-level course materials.

Digital Learning: Mind Games

Brain Aid Task manager app for people with cognitive "challenges"

 Elevate  https://www.elevateapp.com/ has more than 40 fun games to help you improve your cognitive skills. Selected as Apple’s App of the Year in 2014, Elevate is a free brain training app with more than 40. Detailed performance tracking is included and Elevate also features adaptive difficulty progression to ensure that you are always being challenged. Elevate is available on Android and iOS.

 Fit Brain  http://www.fitbrains.com/ Trainer offers more than 60 games and over 500 workout sessions to target the six major areas of the brain. You can create an account and start training with Fit Brains for free, but to unlock all the games, you'll need to pay a monthly subscription fee. If you pay month to month, Fit Brains is the pricier option at $19.95 a month. But if you pay for a year up front, it averages out to $8.33 a month and for a two-year subscription, you'll pay $6.25 a month. There's also a lifetime subscription option for $399.95

 Mind Games  https://www.mindgames.com/Brain+Games Offers over a dozen brain training exercises to challenge you daily, it focuses on a range of cognitive tasks including attention, basic arithmetic skills and mental flexibility. Offering over a dozen brain training exercises to challenge you.

 Dakim's Brain Fitness https://www.dakim.com/dakim/

You can try it for free but there is a charge after the free session.

 Brain Aid  http://brainaid.com/

Designed to "help individuals with executive function disorders complete more real-world tasks. It 6is particularly good for those with brain injuries who lose executive function - the ability to keep track of what you are doing minute-by-minute.