All work and no play

As I listened to the participant in my workshop talk about how important it was for us as we retire to pass on our wisdom to younger workers, I remembered this saying, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. When I went home, I looked up some variations on this theme and here are a few I like:

• As if a man's soul were not too small, to begin with, they have dwarfed and narrowed theirs by a life of all work and no play; until here they are at forty, with a listless attention, a mind vacant of all material of amusement, and not one thought to rub against another, while they wait for the train. Robert Louis Stevenson
• There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life. Alain de Botton
• You may try your experiment for a week and see how you like it. I think by Saturday night you will find that all play and no work is as bad as all work and no play Louisa May Alcott
• It is better to rise from life as from a banquet - neither thirsty nor drunken. Aristotle
• A time for everything: A time to relax and a time to be busy, a time to frolic and a time to labour, a time to receive and a time to give, a time to begin and a time to finish. Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are thinking of retiring, in 10 years, 5 years, or 1 year, the time is now to consider whether there is balance in your life between work and leisure. Developing a healthy balance between work and leisure before you get to that point will position you to enjoy your post-retirement days and may even make your work years more enjoyable and productive

For many works is what they do for money, I was lucky, I did what I loved and I was paid and I was able to live within my needs. For most people, the economic reality is they NEED money to survive, to live and to have some fun. When we are paid, that paycheque is used to balance between living for the now and providing for your future.

Since many of us do not look very far ahead, (economist calls this our time horizons), if we have a short time horizon (which most of us do), we think about providing our future in short-terms such as a week or six months. However, as we get older a change happens for most of us so about 10 to 15 years before we retire, we start to consider our future after work.

For many playing is what is done outside of work. In a traditional working environment, it’s what you do in the evenings, weekends and on your vacation time. Play can be interpreted as anything you want, it may be about sports, travel, hobbies, socialisation, meditation, self-actualization, the list is endless and personal.

We see retirement as a time when we are playing more than working (that’s the traditional retirement concept). But before we can get there, we had to work first and we had to put money aside so we could live and afford to play. Retirement used to be an ‘off the cliff’ event where you worked and then you retired. Today, more and more people are experiencing a transitional or phased retirement where they make keep working but they may work less and play more.

This idea of a phased retirement is important because as I have said, we do not know how to transition from work to retirement. So how do we start? While here are a few ideas:

• Start introducing "time outs" into your schedule. This may begin with lunch out of the office. This sounds simple, but you need to take time away from the office, with no work multi-tasking. Join a gym or a team or a club and make time to go.
• Make "dates" with your spouse or significant other. Begin the discussion of what you want your retirement to be. You may have different ideas, but when you talk, you can work out a plan so each of you has the retirement you want.
• Set boundaries. With the prevalence of smartphone and instant internet, you can always be on duty unless you turn off your phone and ignore messages at night or when you are busy.
• Find something you want to try, explore it, and enjoy it - without making it a job. It is never too late to develop a new hobby or change your ways, but if you are obsessive about work, you may approach hobbies the same way to become a fishing or photography zealot. You need to work to change your patterns.
• Take vacations, starting with some long weekends, where you leave your job behind. Remember, when you retire, the company/job will continue without you. No matter what your job, you are able to be replaced.
• • Many of us do not like that idea but it is very true. Good planning can help make this work. When you return to work and find the place still standing, you will build the courage to take more time off - and leave the office behind when you shut out the lights.

All your working life, you worked smarter, lived better, played harder, and worked hard. As you retire, you have to learn to let that life go and find new adventures, new goals, new dreams. I recommend that you start this transition about 10 years before you retire so that retirement transition is smooth for you. It may not be what you want to hear but it’s my truth.

I have been lucky and I have met a lot of successful people in my time and I can’t think of one that got to where they are without working hard.  The lucky ones found their passion and do not see what they are doing as hard work.  But for many of us, life was about hard work. We believed that life is about paying our dues and we also believe that we all have to pay our dues.  We all have to contribute by working to make a better world. 

Are you Caregiving someone with Dementia?

The following is from McGill University, and it is interesting reading if you are caring for someone who has Dementia. I had two friends who had early onset Alzheimer and it was a devastating blow to their family and friends. It was painful watching the people I had known for over 30 years, disappear into themselves. In the information below, there are three stategies that work for people with Dementia.

Dementia can be a devastating diagnosis. The characteristic problems with memory, thinking, language and judgment are a challenge, but there are also “behavioural and psychological symptoms of dementia” (BPSD), including agitation, aggression, wandering, resistance to care, delusions, hallucinations and repetitive speech. These symptoms can be very upsetting for people with dementia as well as their loved ones and are often the reason people are admitted to long-term care.

How do caregivers cope with these challenging behaviours? Often, doctors prescribe medications including antipsychotics, antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs to help calm patients, but there are problems associated with drug use including side effects that can lead to serious health issues. Recent evidence recommends a shift in the way we manage challenging symptoms of dementia, valuing non-drug approaches that calm and reassure people as a first treatment step.

What works best? Try one or of these 3 non-drug approaches for people with dementia, supported by recent high-quality research. Click on the titles for more information and to read the research summaries.

1. Person-centred care: Getting to know all about you

One of the most promising approaches involves an individualised person-centred model of care in which a person’s background, likes/dislikes, values, culture and abilities are taken into account to develop communication and care strategies that encourage positive responses and interactions.

Person-centred care has also been shown to benefit caregivers by promoting greater job satisfaction and preventing burnout.

2. Sensory stimulation: The healing power of touch

Various types of sensory stimulation, such as hand massage, can help improve behaviours and the general wellbeing of people with dementia.

3. Music to soothe and relax

Many people enjoy the uplifting and relaxing qualities of music. Relaxing music has been shown to promote cooperation during meal times. Listening to the music of their choice while receiving one-on-one personal care – such as bathing – may also help improve behaviour among people with dementia who are more resistant to care (8).

Other drug-free strategies currently being studied for their impact on agitation among nursing home residents include bright light therapy, doll therapy, pet therapy, and aromatherapy.

Considering the rapid rise in the rate of dementia and the toll it takes on individuals, families, caregivers and healthcare systems, it’s not surprising that experts are intent on exploring and testing new treatments and therapies. Non-drug approaches not only avoid the side effects of medication, there is increasing evidence that they help reduce challenging behaviours associated with dementia, making life a bit easier for people with dementia and their caregivers.

What does retirement mean?

We can use the dictionary definition of Retirement and we see many different views but the main thrust of the definition is the withdrawal from work due to age.  If one is older and in poor health, the reasons for withdrawing from work is not seen as the illness but is seen as retiring early.

Retirement is defined as seclusion or privacy, or withdrawal from work due to age.

An example of retirement is going into a back bedroom and taking a nap.

An example of retirement is a 65-year-old person deciding to permanently leave his job.

Retiring or being retired; specif., withdrawal from work, business, etc. because of age

privacy; seclusion

a place of privacy or seclusion

of, having to do with, or for retirement or retired persons: a retirement community

Webster's New World College Dictionary Copyright © 2010 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Cleveland, Ohio.

Retirement noun

a. Withdrawal from one's occupation or position, especially upon reaching a certain age.

b. The age at which one withdraws from work or activity: On reaching retirement, he took up woodworking.

The act of retiring or the state of being retired: the retirement of debt.

Privacy or seclusion: in the retirement of your own home.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th edition Copyright © 2013 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Retirement Noun

An act of retiring; withdrawal.

(uncountable) The state of being retired; seclusion.

The portion of one's life after retiring from one's career.

Origin: From French, from retirer (“withdraw", often used reflexively “retire"), from re- + tirer (“draw, tear away") + English suffix -ment (movement, placement). English Wiktionary. Available under CC-BY-SA license.

retirement - Legal Definition

The voluntary termination of employment upon reaching a certain age

The Old Age Pension came from Germany. Germany became the first nation in the world to adopt an old-age social insurance program in 1889, designed by Germany's Chancellor, Otto von Bismarck. The idea was first put forward, at Bismarck's behest, in 1881 by Germany's Emperor, William the First, in a ground-breaking letter to the German Parliament. William wrote: ". . .those who are disabled from work by age and invalidity have a well-grounded claim to care from the state."

The German system provided contributory retirement benefits and disability benefits as well. Participation was mandatory and contributions were taken from the employee, the employer and the government. Coupled with the workers' compensation program established in 1884 and the "sickness" insurance enacted the year before, this gave the Germans a comprehensive system of income security based on social insurance principles. (They would add unemployment insurance in 1927, making their system complete.)

Germany was one of the models America looked to in designing its own Social Security plan; and the myth is that America adopted age 65 as the age for retirement benefits because this was the age adopted by Germany when they created their program. In fact, Germany initially set age 70 as the retirement age and it was not until 27 years later (in 1916) that the age was lowered to 65.

Bismarck was motivated to introduce social insurance in Germany both in order to promote the well-being of workers in order to keep the German economy operating at maximum efficiency and to stave off calls for more radical socialist alternatives.

Today the face of retirement Is changing. We live longer, in the 1920’s the life span in Canada for men 59 and for women 61. There were very few people that made it to 65, so the Old Age Security was only for those who lived longer. In the 1960’s we had a life expectancy for men of 69 and for women 76. We worked until we were 65 and then retired, and died about four years later. Retirement was seen by many as a time waiting for the end. Today we have a life expectancy of 77 for men and 82 for women. So, the realities of retirement have changed, we are no longer sitting around waiting for the end. 

Many of us are in good health and we want to be active.  Many of my friends are working. The difference is that they are working doing more of what they love and not what they have to do. I and my friends are early boomers, which means that what we do, the majority of boomers will do as they reach our age. So, a trend that is starting is that more people will work, albeit part time when they retire.

In retirement, it is important to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Although money is important, retirement is about more than just money. Today, retirement is about being happy. Today, as you plan for retirement think differently. Think about life and what life means to you when you are retired. It's not easy, and it may require some soul searching so you can determine your priorities. When thinking about retirement you need to think about what you are going to do with your time, how you are going to maintain your health and who is going to be part of your retirement in terms of friends, family and other social groups.

Retirement today is busier and full of more choice because we are living longer and we are healthier than are parents and grandparents. Your success at retirement is really dependent on you and the choices you make. The more you plan and think ahead, the more likely you are to enjoy a happy retirement. After all, retirement today will last more than 20 years, and hopefully will be the best years of your life.

Are you retiring to something or from something?

We are all retired and we were meeting for lunch on a Friday afternoon. The talk moved through many topics, from funny things grandchildren say to more serious issues such as stroke and medical issues. One of the people at the table was a man I had not seen for about six months. When we had a chance, he asked me if I was still working. 

I explained that I had, in fact, stopped working for pay two years ago. His first response was that is great, his second was to ask me this question: “What are you doing to keep yourself busy?” I explained that I was giving workshops to seniors on Health and Wellness issues as a volunteer. In fact, over the last 18 months, I have given over 85 workshops. He thought that was interesting.

When we worked, we spend decades dreaming of the day when life won't be dictated by alarm clocks, commute times, meeting schedules and office politics. When we retire, we realise that if we don’t do anything then retirement can be kind of a drag. And there may be 20-plus years of it ahead of you.

We plan and think about retirement mostly by looking at the financial essentials — expected returns, inflation, withdrawal rates, portfolio rebalancing, tax planning, which is needed. However, most of us don’t prepare for the emotional challenges of post-work life.

When we work, we may dread the day to day boredom of employment, but there's something to be said for the structure it provides.

I have talked about this before, work is where many people derive their sense of purpose. It can also provide a framework for your days (projects, meetings, deadlines) and a sense of community (thanks to water coolers, slow elevators and happy hours). When we retire, many of us suffer from the syndrome “I used to be an important person”, I know I did. After you retire you are no longer wanted or needed, you are replaced, and your sense of purpose may be gone. 

 So, a question to ask yourself, are you retiring to something, or are you retiring from something? I retired from something and it took me almost 8 years to find something I felt good about retiring to in my life.

Here are steps you can take to help protect your golden years from being tarnished by dissatisfaction.

FIND A REASON TO SET YOUR ALARM

For the first part of my retirement, I travelled, spoiled my grandson, organised the sock drawer and descaled the coffee maker. After two years, I decided to give back to the community so I sat on the board of a major charity, and that helped to inspire me to get out of bed each morning.

There is research that shows people who have pursuits outside of their professional life tend to fare better in retirement. If you're not interested in taking up a new hobby, consider ways to use the professional expertise you've cultivated over the years. It's even better for the psyche to apply your talents to serve a cause that you care about.

Don't wait until you retire to explore new pursuits. Test-drive volunteer opportunities in your community before retirement to plant seeds for future endeavours. I am no longer on the Board, but I have taken up another wonderful volunteer activity which I can see myself doing for the next 10 to 15 years. Many of the active volunteers in my organisation are in their mid and late 80’s. So I hope to continue to do this work for a long time if my health allows.

Retirement can be a major relationship disruptor. All that "me time" you and your partner had when one or both of you were at work is now potentially "we time."

I think it is important to have a series of conversations with your spouse about whether you will retire at the same time. Retirement can be especially stressful if one partner retires before the other. My wife retired due to a medical issue, and I decided to retire at the same time, with little thought to the consequences of my decision. Talking with your spouse prior to making the leap into retirement, will save you much stress.

Expect that there will be an adjustment period, and perhaps spats over household duties ("You were home all day; why didn't you mow the lawn?") and scheduling conflicts ("I can't take that week off work for a road trip"). But if you're prepared to be flexible, respectful and understanding of the other person's perspective, you can achieve peaceful coexistence in retirement.