Making a Difference Together

There is something very self-absorbed about the caregiver to senior citizen relationship.  By that, we mean that most if not all of the decisions you make and subjects of concern focus either on the senior citizen and her needs or on the caregiver and the senior citizen and how you will work together to address his needs. 

It is small wonder then when we think about what your elderly parent talked about all day, it’s usually all about his or her physical or emotional needs.  The way the caregiver relationship works naturally encourages the idea that the senior citizen's world revolves around the needs and issues of the senior citizen herself.

But we know from raising children that if a person is completely focused on themselves, that is very unhealthy.  That is how one can become a hypochondriac and become overwhelmed by obsessive-compulsive habits because they think everything must begin and end with their problems and there is no chance to see the world or get some perspective by being with other people.

So, a bold step you as a caregiver can do is to suggest that you and your elderly parent get out of the apartment or home, and do something of value to others.  By getting involved in volunteering or at least going out and making a difference together, you provide a way for your elderly parent to get some self-esteem from making someone else’s life better.  It gives them chance to get out in the fresh air and break up the constant thoughts about themselves by thinking about someone else or something else for a while.

At first, you may get some resistance to the idea and you may have to be downright stubborn about giving it a try.  The knee-jerk reaction that your elderly parent may have when you bring up volunteering together might be, “what does that have to do with my needs?”  By explaining the value to him or her, you can help your elderly parent remember that life was better when it was about others and that a life of service is a healthy life.

You don’t have to get really ambitious to find something good to do with your energies.  And if your senior mom or dad is disabled, there are still things you can do.  Some simple things you can do at first that gets the ball rolling are…

· Go to the park and pick up trash on a slow walk so you make the park a prettier place.

· Go visit someone else in the retirement community that he or she knows is lonely and would enjoy being dropped in on.

· Help stuff envelopes or make phone calls on behalf of your church or a charity organization.  This is something you can do from a wheelchair if that is the situation with your elderly parent.

· Read to disadvantaged kids at the local library.

· Become a big brother or big sister and take a young person to a ball game or to the zoo every so often.

Most cities have a volunteer coordination agency that can match up your physical abilities with volunteer opportunities.  Once you get your elderly parent involved in doing something for others, don’t be surprised if their enthusiasm takes off like a skyrocket. 

The great feeling of making a difference for others can literally turn his or her life around.  And on the way home, as your parent chatters about the people you met and the things you are doing, you know that this idea was a hit.  And when they can’t stop talking about the next thing you are going to go do together, you will know that your parent has gotten the bug for service projects.  And his or her life will never be the same again. And that’s a good thing.

How Does Exercise Help Your Blood Pressure?

I have high blood pressure, and I have had it for a long time. It has gone down since I retired but it is still borderline high. I use exercise and medication to help control my blood pressure. Many people do not even know if they have high blood pressure, so I suggest you get yourself checked. If you have high blood pressure and you want to take control of your blood pressure, exercise may be the key for you to do just that. Many people may not realize exercise can help you control your blood pressure. Fortunately, it is all rather simple.

As you probably know, you are more prone to high blood pressure as you age. Unfortunately, we all age and this cannot be helped. But controlling your blood pressure can be helped.

By exercising you can prevent risks of high blood pressure which can cause stroke and kidney disease. If you already have high blood pressure, exercising can help you get it under control.

As you exercise your heart gets stronger. When your heart is stronger it can pump more blood more easily causing less pressure on your arteries. While exercise may not work for everyone you can easily lower your blood pressure by around ten millimeters.

Even if you do not have high blood pressure, you can take these precautions to prevent from getting it. Along with controlling your blood pressure you can lose weight or maintain your desired weight which also affects your blood pressure.

Overweight people are prone to having high blood pressure and an increased risk of stroke or kidney or heart diseases. If this is you, get moving and start exercising! This doesn't mean you have to overdo yourself, take it slow at first and work your way up. You will start feeling better as you continue a regular routine.

It is suggested to do at least thirty minutes of exercise a day if possible. Thirty minutes can be hard to do for some people, mainly because they can't find the time. If this is the case, you can do short bursts of exercise. You could exercise for ten minutes at a time throughout the day. At the end of the day you've done thirty minutes.

Like with starting any exercise routine, you will want to talk with your doctor first. There are certain things you will have to have your doctor's okay for. If you are a man over forty or a woman over fifty it might be better to talk with your doctor first.

Smoking increases blood pressure as well as makes it hard for some people to exercise. Being overweight has an effect on everything and you definitely want to consult your doctor before starting an exercise program.

Having a chronic health condition or high cholesterol and even high blood pressure can put you at risk when exercising. Be sure to talk to your doctor first. If you do not visit the doctor regularly, do so now. It is better to know exactly what health you are in before doing any strenuous activity or even exercising.

Always warm up before starting an exercise routine. Begin slowly so you can slowly build the intensity. Be sure to continuously breathe throughout your routine. Holding your breath can cause your blood pressure to increase and the key of exercising to help control or lower your blood pressure.

If you experience any discomforts or pain while exercising notify your doctor immediately. It is better to take full precaution even if it ends up being something little. Once you start your exercise program, you want to track your progress.

A great way to do this is if you can't see your doctor regularly; purchase a home blood pressure monitoring device. You want to check your pressure before you begin and when you are finished. You want to make sure it's working and how much it's working.

By exercising you are lowering your chances of getting high blood pressure and if you already have it, you are helping to control it. This means you are lessening your risks of strokes or heart diseases. It is never too late to start, no matter your age, gender, or ethnicity. Talk with your doctor today about an exercise program that is right for you. Your body will thank you in the end

Guilt Helps Nobody

If the job of being a caregiver only involved giving help to your aging parent such as doing the dishes and helping fill out the Medicare paperwork, your life would be considerably easier.  And if that were the case, even if there was a lot to do, the problem of caregiver burn out would not be such an issue.

But the real drain on you and even on the senior citizen you are taking care of comes in the emotional toll that the care giving relationship brings with it.  Because the “assumed understanding” of the care giving relationship is based on the extended giving of a very large favor, guilt becomes a common element in every aspect of the time you spend with your aging parent.

It’s very easy for the senior citizen to feel guilty for asking you for the work you do to take care of him.  It’s a strange situation because in most cases, they never asked.  You may have stepped in because you saw your parent’s life beginning to unravel and you knew that someone had to help get his retired life organized.  And yet, the senior citizen feels a lot of guilt because you are giving him huge amounts of time and that is time away form your family and maybe your work to do things for him unpaid and very often without thanks.

It doesn’t help that the time of transition from independence to assisted care is one of huge loss of self esteem for your aging parent.  There are a lot of tremendous changes that happen in rapid order for y our parent and they happen in areas of life that have remained unchanged for decades.  If inside of a year your mom or dad go through a loss of their home to go live in an assisted living facility, loss of mobility because they cannot drive and loss of independence because everything is being done for them, that causes a lot of negative emotions.  Guilt makes its appearance because they feel irrationally that if they had not grown old, this would never have happened.

But guilt also is an issue for you, the caregiver.  There always seems to be something more you could be doing for your parents.  It doesn’t help that the senior citizen you work so hard to care for also inflicts guilt on you by whining, “I wish you never had to go home” or by complaining about their lives and getting angry. 

So what can be done about all of this guilt?  Guilt doesn’t make the relationship better and it doesn’t improve the quality of life for the caregiver or from the senior being cared for.  So whatever we can do to shut it down would be a positive step for both parties.

Probably the most proactive thing you can do about guilt is confront it directly.  Sit down with your aging mom or dad and get those guilt feelings out in the open.  It’s not their fault they got old.  Your parent should not feel guilty about being cared for by you.  After all they cared for you for decades when you were just a child and young adult. 

Bu taking the teeth out of guilt, you have a real chance of getting that out of your relationship.  By learning not to put guilt on each other, you become a team in care giving, not combatants.  And these are positive steps toward a healthy senior citizen and caregiver relationship.

Are You Well?

Wellness refers to the condition of good physical and mental health, especially when maintained by proper diet, exercise, and habits.  Nutrition refers to the nurturing of our body, in our ability to keep it healthy and functioning as it is supposed to do.  Our ability to provide the body with all the necessary food, vitamins, and minerals so that we continue to thrive in our daily life processes.  But do we know if we are really well? 

The first place to start would be with the examination of your eating habits.  Since we are a product of what we eat, if our eating habits are unhealthy, or do not provide for the nutrition we need, we’re not going to be healthy individuals at the end of the process.
Do you take in more calories than your body needs?  Are you supplementing your vitamins and minerals to make sure you are getting your recommended daily allowances?  If you’re not making the most basic of efforts to take care of your nutritional needs, you aren’t a well individual.  You may not look sick, you may not have any noticeable symptoms of ill-health, but you’re not the well individual you could be.

Next, you might want to look at your exercise habits, if there are any.  If there aren’t any exercise routines to examine, no wellness.  Everyone, no matter what their age, benefits from exercise.  It keeps our bodies conditioned, our mental sharpness working at top speed, and thanks to the physical aspect, we get a boost to our cardio health, extra calorie burn, and more oxygen to those cells!
What about the stress levels in your life?  Do work in an environment with high levels of stress?  Is your personal life a source of comfort or does it add to your stress levels?  Do you engage in some form of stress-relieving activity?  Stress is the number on contributor to heart attacks and strokes, since they manage to speed up the affect of the real culprits.  Stress is basically an out of control situation for most adults today.  We manage to schedule every moment of our free time, and leave ourselves with no time for quiet reflection, or time to deal with life’s unexpected emergencies.

Stress brings us to the next two topics of health abuse.  Smoking and drinking are often used to offset the effect that stress has on our nervous system.  These solutions however do not provide any real help.  If you smoke, drink, or lose sleep to excess, you’re not the well individual you could be.  Smoking, drinking, and loss of sleep work to our detriment, and it takes extreme discipline to stop.  Smoking fills our body with carcinogens, and works to keep us tired and lethargic. 


There are so many occasions to stop and question our efforts at maintaining optimal health, that we usually don’t even take the time to begin the examination. But it is beneficial to our overall health, the quality and quantity of our life, to make every effort to be well, healthy, individuals.