Thursday, February 15, 2018

Why We Love Certain Books

There are books that speak to my soul and feel as if the author knows and understands me. Here is one explanation of why we love certain books. In the plot, we move from one important moment directly to the next – whereas in life there are endless sub-plots that distract and confuse us. In a story, the key events of a relationship unfold across a few dozen pages: in life, they are spread over many years and interleaved with hundreds of business meetings, holidays, hours spent watching television, chats with one’s parents, shopping trips and dentist’s appointments. The compressed logic of a plot corrects the chaos of existence: the links between events can be made much more obvious. We understand – finally – what is going on.
Writers reveal people’s secret thoughts and motives. The characters are much more clearly defined than the people we actually encounter. On the page, we meet purer villains, braver more resourceful heroes, people whose suffering is more obvious or whose virtues are more striking than would ever normally be the case. They – and their actions – provide us with simplified targets for our emotional lives. We can love or revile them, pity them or condemn them more neatly than we ever can our friends and acquaintances.
We need simplification because of the complexity of our lives. The writer, in books that get us, puts into words feelings that had long eluded us, they know us better than we know ourselves. They seem to be narrating our own stories, but with a clarity, we could never achieve. 
So often we feel lost for words; we’re impressed by the sight of a bird wheeling in the dusk sky; we’re aware of a particular atmosphere at dawn, we love someone’s slightly wild but sympathetic manner. We struggle to verbalize our feelings. Feelings that we see as too complex, subtle, vague and elusive for us to be able to verbalize. The best writers home in on the angle of the wing; the slow movement of the largest branch of a tree; the angle of the mouth in a smile. Through the writer’s words the nuance of life, become more visible.
When the book touches us, the writer builds bridges and cut through to the common core of the experience. By selection and emphasis, they reveal the important things we share. They show us where to look. They help us to feel.
In the pages of a story, we meet someone, perhaps a person who is very beautiful/handsome, tender, sensitive, young and/or dying; and we weep for the character and all the cruelty and injustice of the world. And we come away, not devastated, but refreshed. Our emotional muscles are exercised and their strength rendered newly available for our lives.

The task of linking the right book to the right person at the right time is not easy, but when we happen to come across the ideal book for us we are presented with an extraordinarily clearer, more lucid, better-organised account of our own concerns and experiences: for a time at least, our minds become less clouded and our hearts become more accurately sensitive. Through authors words, we become a little better at being who we always really were or wanted to be in life. Enjoy. My thanks to Ronnie at Time Goes By for the link.



The Olympics

Like many, I have been watching the Olympics and am impressed by the courage, athletics. In my younger days, I was a middle-distance runner and was one of the top runners in my area. I was not the best but I was in the top ten and I worked very hard. To get to the level the Olympic Athletes have achieved takes dedication, hard, hard, work, commitment to the sport. Many of these young people have put their lives on hold for a chance to compete at the world level. If we don’t follow the sport, we only see the athletes on stage for a very short time. We empathize with them when they lose, and celebrate with them when they win.

All countries should celebrate these athletes and their coaches, their support teams (Physio, their friends and their family. Without the support of these people, the athletes would not be where they are today. I know there are sponsors, and organizations that provide financial support for the athletes and their support teams that help and their support should also be recognized.

I was watching an interview with a young woman, who had failed to qualify and the interviewer asked what had happened and if the athlete was disappointed. The young athlete, while explaining what she had done started to cry while she was answering the questions. The interviewer saw this but continued to ask questions. The athlete answered the questions politely and finally, the interviewer brought the interview to a close. I know that a crying athlete makes for good television and brings drama to an otherwise boring interview, but there were a number of opportunities to close the interview early but the interviewer appeared to want the drama.

We have to remember that these athletes are away from home, sleeping in a strange bed, adjusting to a time difference, faced with a continual barrage of media who want their attention. All the athletes want to do is get into their routine and perform their best. They all perform for themselves first and then their country and they want to do their very best in this arena. One of the broadcasters said.“They should be so proud that they made it to the Olympic stage and are able to compete with the best in the world”. I agree we should honour these athletes and should celebrate with them as they compete with the best in the world. If you have not been watching the Olympics I encourage you to do so and cheer on the athletes from your country.


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Romance in the Sunset Years

This is a valentine thought for my retired and soon to be retired friends.  When you watch television or the movies, you could come to the conclusion that romance is only the stuff of those in their teens or 20s.  As though somehow once someone reaches full adulthood, much less retirement the concept of romance is completely out of the question.  This may be more a function of the fact that more people in those age groups go to the movies than any grounding in reality about romance.  But we know for a fact that romance at all ages is not only is possible, it might be the sweetest romance of them all.
Part of the confusion may lie in another misconception or “myth” about us that we are not capable of sexual activity.  There are two levels of error in this misconception.  The first is the idea that people over 50 are sexually inactive. Nothing could be further from the truth.  Sexuality is a healthy component of adult life at all phases of our maturity and we are just as capable of sexuality in our relationships as your most randy teenager, but not as careful if the research into STD’s in seniors is to be believed.
The second misconception that is good to confront and put to rest is that even if sexuality is not part of the mix, we are not romantic people.  This misconception is without a doubt held people who don’t spend any quality time with our age group.  If anything, the opposite is the truth.  If anyone tracked our movie rental patterns or downloads or streaming activity they would witness that we have a healthy appetite for romantic comedies and have a healthy interest in romantic relationships.
Retirement very often is a time of tremendous rebirth of the concept of romance between couples.  Married couples who may have seen the romance fizzle in their relationship during the child raising years often see that element of their relationship blossom and become even sweeter and exciting than it was when they were dating. 
Adult life before retirement is often packed with pressures of raising kids and getting them “launched” as well as work and social pressures.  This kind of thing can take away the emotional and mental energy needed for romance.  So, when a marriage matures into retirement years together, it's common to rediscover why they fell in love in the first place and experience a new era of romance that is fun and thrilling for both.
But retired people who find themselves single are perfectly capable of looking for romantic times with others of their own generation.  If we have managed our finances well, we may be well equipped to enjoy an active dating life and enjoy romantic evenings with each other that enrich our lives and keeps us upbeat and looking forward to our next romantic experience. 
Moreover, we have the time and the leisure to nurture their romantic relationships slowly.  So, the suspense of building a romance makes that romance full of excitement of discovery is easily afforded for those who may not be as “eager” to see the romance “go somewhere” as a youth looking to start a family.  But dating and enjoying romantic times with the opposite sex also provide much-needed companionship and deep friendships can evolve from romance at any age.  If you have lost a spouse, these times with others can fill a gap left by that spouse and help ease the transition and the grief and help you to can move on to single life successfully.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Staying Fit

In a workshop, I give on Staying Fit we talk about the benefits of exercise for seniors. I have talked about these before but I need to emphasize the points again. Many of us don't exercise enough, which is defined as 30 minutes a day.
However, before starting an exercise regime, you should always talk to your doctor. To help you decide to see your doctor, take the Physical Activity Readiness Questionnaire.
  • Has your doctor ever said that you have a heart condition and that you should only do physical activity recommended by your doctor?  Y/N
  • Do you feel pain in your chest when you do physical activity?  Y/N
  • In the past month have you had chest pain when you were not doing a physical activity?  Y/N
  • Do you lose your balance because of dizziness or do you ever lose consciousness?  Y/N
  • Do you have a bone or joint problem (e.g., back, knee, or hip) that could be made worse by a change in your physical activity?  Y/N
  • Is your doctor currently prescribing drugs (e.g. water pills) for your blood pressure or heart condition?  Y/N
  • Do you know of any other reason why you should not do physical activity?  Y/N

If you answer “Yes” to any of the above questions, see a doctor or your physiotherapist before you start an exercise program

If you answer “No” to all the questions, start slowly and build up gradually, consider a fitness appraisal to determine the best program for you and have your blood pressure checked.  If it is over 144/94, see your physician before starting an exercise program.

A fitness appraisal would determine your strength and weaknesses so that you have an exercise program that will offer the greatest benefit.These can be arranged through almost any fitness facility, community centre, or YM/YWCA. 

I recommend becoming involved in a community program.  
Ideally, you would access a class that would suit your needs and be at the appropriate level. There are a number of advantages to doing this
  • Social engagement
  • Healthy competition
  • Professional advice to ensure that you are using good form and technique
  • Less likely to procrastinate
Check out Recreation or Senior centres for the following types of programs for seniors
  • Gentle Fit or Armchair Fitness programs
  • Zumba Gold
  • Water aerobics (regular or deep-water)
  • Osteofit (designed for people with osteoporosis)
  • Chair Yoga or Gentle Yoga
  • Palates
  • Beginners Line Dancing 
  • Tai Chi

Just a reminder of what exercise can do for you. Exercise helps you
  • Manage depression
  • Maintain independence
  • Have more energy
  • Reduce your risk of dementia
  • Reduce the risk of falling
  • Reduce risk of chronic degenerative diseases
  • Have a little fun.  

Being in good shape and in good health, as you age, helps you enjoy doing the things you love to do (playing with grandchildren, gardening), protects you against loss of bone mass, may boost your immune system and improves gastrointestinal function