Aging Well: Independence Is More Than Living Alone

In my first post in this series, I promised to explore the issues that concern older adults most and to look not only at what research tells us but also at practical things we can do to age well.

This time, I'd like to look at the second greatest concern identified in National Geographic's Outlook on the Second Half of Life: maintaining our independence.

For many people, independence means living in their own home. While that's certainly part of it, independence is much broader. It means making our own decisions, remaining mobile, managing our daily lives, contributing to our communities, and continuing to enjoy the activities that bring us purpose and joy.

Good health is the foundation of independence.

One participant in the study reflected on how much life expectancy has changed during his lifetime.

"I remember when people retired at 65 and died a couple of years later. Now I'm 70, and life expectancy is much higher. Before COVID, I was still doing CrossFit and kickboxing. If he can do it, I can do it."

His story highlights something important. Our expectations of aging have changed dramatically. Many people today remain active well into their seventies and eighties. They volunteer, travel, learn new skills, care for grandchildren, and continue making valuable contributions to their communities.

Another participant explained that watching family members develop heart disease and other health conditions motivated her to eat well, stay active, and pay attention to her health.

Her story reminds us that while we cannot change our family history, we can influence many of the factors that affect healthy aging.

Research consistently shows that regular physical activity, nutritious food, quality sleep, stress management, and maintaining social connections all contribute to better physical and cognitive health. None of these guarantees perfect health, but together they improve our chances of remaining independent for longer.

One finding from the National Geographic survey surprised me. Although health conditions become more common with age, many older adults actually rate their own health more positively than younger people do. Perhaps that's because health isn't simply the absence of illness. It is the ability to live a meaningful life despite the challenges we face.

Mobility is another essential ingredient of independence.

Walking across a parking lot, climbing stairs, carrying groceries, getting out of a chair, or reaching into a cupboard are tasks we often take for granted, until they become difficult. I understood that at a cognitive level, but not at an emotional one. After my surgery I was immobile for about 12 weeks, I am, at the time of writing, able to get around with an aide. And the end of the need for support is close. But I now have greater empathy for those who cannot see an end.

The good news is that strength and balance can improve at almost any age. Research shows that older adults benefit from regular walking, resistance exercises, stretching, and balance training. Even modest improvements can reduce the risk of falls and help us remain confident and independent.

The key is not becoming an athlete. It is simply continuing to move.

Every walk around the block, every gardening session, every dance class, every swim, and every exercise class is an investment in your future independence.

Healthy aging isn't about avoiding every illness or injury. It's about giving ourselves the best possible chance to continue living life on our own terms.

Independence isn't something we either have or lose overnight. It is built through hundreds of small choices we make every day.

So let me leave you with this question:

What is one habit you could begin this week that your future self will thank you for?

Aging Well: Brain Health, Purpose, and Independence

In my first post, I asked whether aging is a good thing or a bad thing. The answer, of course, depends on how we approach it. One of the biggest factors influencing our experience of aging is our brain health.

According to National Geographic's Outlook on the Second Half of Life, brain health is the number one concern for people entering the second half of life. Most of us aren't simply worried about forgetting a name or misplacing our keys. We worry because memory loss raises a much larger fear, the possibility of losing our independence.

For many older adults, independence means far more than living alone. It means making our own decisions, staying in our own homes, choosing how we spend our time, and continuing to contribute to the lives of others. The thought of becoming dependent on family or friends is one of the greatest fears many seniors face.

Interestingly, the survey found that brain health isn't just about memory. It is also closely connected to having a sense of purpose.

One participant described watching his father-in-law retire at age 65 after spending most of his life working in a factory.

"He retired at 65 and then he sat in a chair and watched TV. He died two years later. I think he lacked purpose."

The participant went on to explain that he and his wife had chosen a different path. Through their church, they travelled on mission trips to Cambodia, Rwanda, Australia, and China, helping build homes and dig wells. His message was simple: having something meaningful to do gives us a reason to get up every morning.

Purpose doesn't have to involve travelling around the world. It might mean volunteering in your community, mentoring a younger person, caring for grandchildren, joining a choir, learning a new skill, or simply checking in on a neighbour. What matters is having a reason to stay engaged with life.

The survey also uncovered something surprising. Although serious health conditions become more common as we age, people's perception of their own health often improves. That may sound contradictory, but perhaps it reflects a shift in perspective. As we grow older, many of us stop comparing ourselves to our younger selves and instead appreciate what we are still able to do.

Another participant reflected on watching her parents age.

"They lived a good life until their mid-eighties. They were mobile and very independent. That's what I hope for myself."

She also spoke about her father refusing to move in with family because he wanted to maintain his independence. Many older adults share that feeling. Home represents more than a place to live. It represents freedom, dignity, familiarity, and the ability to live life on our own terms, even if that means spending the day in our pajamas.

She also learned another valuable lesson by watching her parents. Health and finances limited some of the opportunities they had hoped to enjoy in retirement. Rather than simply accepting that as inevitable, she decided to prepare differently so those barriers would not stand in her way.

There is an important message in these stories. We cannot control every aspect of aging, but we can influence many of the factors that support healthy brain aging. Staying physically active, challenging our minds, nurturing friendships, managing chronic health conditions, getting enough sleep, and finding meaningful ways to contribute all help keep both our brains and our spirits healthy.

Perhaps the greatest lesson is this: brain health is about much more than preventing memory loss. It is about preserving the things that make life worth living, our independence, our relationships, and our sense of purpose.

Growing older doesn't mean we stop contributing. In many ways, it gives us the opportunity to contribute in new and meaningful ways.

As you look ahead to the years to come, what gives you a reason to get up each morning, and what could you do today to strengthen that sense of purpose?

Is Aging a Good Thing or a Bad Thing a different take

The Optimist and the Pessimist Walk Into a Senior Centre...

Or: Why Growing Old Beats, the Heck Out of the Alternative

Optimist: (bouncing in, coffee in hand) Good morning! Isn't it a beautiful day?

Pessimist: (gripping their coffee like a lifeline) It's raining.

Optimist: It's refreshing! Besides, I heard that phrase again yesterday, you know the one: "Growing old is a privilege denied to many." It's true, isn't it?

Pessimist: (sighs) You and that phrase. I've heard you say it a hundred times.

Optimist: That's because it's true a hundred times! My knees hurt, my back complains, I can't remember where I put my glasses, and I'm still happier than I was at forty.

Pessimist: You're ten years younger than me. You haven't seen the really good stuff yet. Just wait.

Optimist: I've been waiting for twenty years! And what I've learned is that perspective is the one thing youth just cannot buy. A man in his forties said it perfectly: "You understand a little more, you get wiser as you age."

Pessimist: A man in his forties is a child. What does he know?

Optimist: More than we did at forty, that's for sure. And a woman in her nineties, her nineties!, said, "It can be good if you have the right attitude." She accepts her limitations and still cherishes each day. She's got about thirty years on you, and she's not complaining.

Pessimist: I'm not complaining. I'm being realistic. Health deteriorates. Memory deteriorates. The ability to do things deteriorates. A man in his fifties said exactly that.

Optimist: I love that you remember that quote. Maybe your memory isn't as bad as you think. But seriously, I'd rather be a slower-moving, sometimes-forgetful, creaky-kneed optimist than a thirty-year-old pessimist who thinks he has it all figured out.

Pessimist: Fine. So what's your brilliant plan for dealing with all this "deterioration"?

Optimist: I'll tell you. But first, let me ask you something. When National Geographic asked people what they worry about most in the second half of life, do you know what the top three were?

Pessimist: Let me guess. Money.

Optimist: Nope.

Pessimist: Health?

Optimist: Sort of. Brain health came first, 54% of people said that's their biggest concern. Maintaining independence was second at 53%. And relationships were third at 50%.

Pessimist: See? I was right. Health and independence. It's all downhill from here.

Optimist: Or, and hear me out, we could focus on what we can do rather than what we can't. We can keep our minds sharp. We can stay independent longer. We can build relationships that matter. Aging is not a problem to be solved. It's a chapter to be lived.

Pessimist: (sighs again) You always see the glass half full.

Optimist: The glass is half full of coffee. And it's still warm. That's a win in my book.

Pessimist: (almost smiling) You know, you're exhausting.

Optimist: I'll take that as a compliment. So, are you coming to the chair yoga class later, or are you going to sit here and complain about your knees?

Pessimist: I don't do chair yoga.

Optimist: You will. I bought you a spot. It's a gift.

Pessimist: I don't accept gifts from optimists. They always come with strings attached.

Optimist: The string is that you have to show up and try not to enjoy it.

Pessimist: (grumbling) I suppose I could try it. Once.

Optimist: That's the spirit! One class, one laugh, one stubborn refusal to give in to the gloom. You're practically a convert already.

Pessimist: Don't push it.

Optimist: Wouldn't dream of it. But just so you know, I'm going to keep reminding you that growing old is a privilege. Not because it's easy. Because it means we're still here. And as long as we're still here, we can still choose how we live.

Pessimist: (muttering) I'll bring my own coffee.

Optimist: I knew you'd come around. Took you thirty years, but I knew you'd come around.

If you are reading this and you are the pessimist in your own life, take heart. The optimist is not ignoring reality. They are choosing to see it differently.

Aging is not a problem to be solved. It is a chapter to be lived. And the best part? You get to choose what kind of older person you want to become. The aches? They are temporary. The wisdom? That is permanent. And every birthday is a reminder that you still have time to learn, to love, and to laugh, usually at yourself.

Now go find your own optimist. Or be one. The coffee is always better that way

A sense of awe and wonder is important

A sense of awe and wonder was an important part of my childhood, but somewhere along life's journey, I lost it.

I remember lying on the grass for hours, watching clouds drift across the sky. One moment I could see a sailing ship, the next a giant dog or a smiling face. The wind would change, and a new picture would appear. I was completely absorbed by the experience.

As I grew older and became focused on work, ambition, and the responsibilities of everyday life, I slowly misplaced that sense of wonder. When my children were young, I rediscovered it. Seeing the world through their eyes reminded me to stop, notice, and appreciate the little miracles around us. I hope I also helped them keep the sense of awe that fuels curiosity throughout life.

Now, in my 80th year, I am grateful to have found that sense of wonder again.

While thinking about this topic, I came across a quote that caught my attention:

"Practicing awe quiets the inner critic, elevates your vagal tone, reduces stress, deepens connection, and improves long-term markers of brain health."

I wasn't familiar with the term vagal tone, so I looked it up. Vagal tone refers to how well the vagus nerve functions. This nerve is a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps regulate heart rate, digestion, immune function, and our body's ability to recover from stress.

A healthy vagal tone contributes to better emotional regulation, a steadier heart rate, improved digestion, and greater resilience. Fortunately, it can be strengthened through regular exercise, slow breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and yes, even moments of awe.

The real skill isn't finding awe. It's learning to notice it.

We live in a world that constantly competes for our attention. News alerts, deadlines, and endless distractions keep our minds racing. Awe interrupts that cycle. Research shows it can calm the mind, relax the body, reduce stress, and strengthen our sense of connection with both nature and other people.

The wonderful thing is that awe isn't reserved for extraordinary experiences. It can be found in a single leaf glowing in the sunlight, the kindness of a stranger, a favourite piece of music, or the colours of the evening sky. We simply need to slow down long enough to notice.

Here are a few simple ways to invite more awe into your daily life.

Take a walk in nature. Instead of rushing, pause to notice the details, the pattern on a leaf, the shape of a tree, the colours of a flower, or the sound of birds.

Spend a few minutes stargazing. You don't need a telescope. Looking up at the vastness of the night sky is often enough to remind us how remarkable our world really is.

Practice mindful observation. Sit quietly in your backyard, a park, or beside a window. Focus on one sense at a time. Listen carefully to the sounds around you. Notice the colours and movement you see. Breathe in the scents of the season.

I've also found it helpful to pause several times each day and appreciate something small, a wildflower growing through a crack in the sidewalk, the changing colours of a sunset, or the intricate design of a flower. These moments take only seconds, but they stay with us.

Keeping an awe journal can deepen the experience. Write down the moments that surprised or inspired you. The value isn't simply recording them; it's returning later to reflect on what you saw, heard, or felt. Those reflections often reveal just how much beauty surrounds us.

Awe can also be found in people. Witnessing an act of kindness, volunteering in your community, attending a concert or art exhibit, cheering with others at a sporting event, or listening to someone share an inspiring story can all awaken that same feeling of wonder and connection.

The more we notice these moments, the more they seem to appear.

For me, experiencing awe means looking at the world through the eyes of a child, not because we ignore life's challenges, but because we choose to remain curious, grateful, and open to the beauty that surrounds us every day.

When was the last time you stopped, looked closely, and allowed yourself to be filled with wonder?