Guys, Take Notes: What Many Men Can Learn from Women About Retirement

Every successful movie has people behind the scenes who quietly make everything work.

Sometimes they direct.

Sometimes they produce.

Sometimes they rewrite the script halfway through filming because the original story no longer fits.

Over the past several years, I've watched many women do exactly that with retirement.

And I think men have something to learn from them.

Before anyone writes me an email, let me be clear.

I'm speaking from my own experience.

I've worked with hundreds of retirees through workshops, community organizations, and volunteer boards. The pattern I've noticed isn't about every woman or every man. It's simply an observation that has made me think.

Many men spend years planning how they'll leave work.

Many women spend years planning what they'll do after work.

There's an important difference.

For many men, identity is closely tied to occupation.

We introduce ourselves by saying, "I'm an engineer."

"I'm a teacher."

"I'm a manager."

"I'm an electrician."

When retirement arrives, those titles disappear overnight.

Some men spend months trying to figure out who they are without the business card.

Many women, however, seem to have spent years building lives that include much more than work.

They have friendships that continue after retirement.

Volunteer roles.

Book clubs.

Fitness classes.

Community organizations.

Creative interests.

Family traditions.

Social networks.

Learning opportunities.

In many cases, retirement simply gives them more time to enjoy the lives they were already creating.

That's a lesson worth paying attention to.

Another difference I've noticed is the willingness to ask for help.

Many men are perfectly willing to rebuild a lawn mower without reading the instructions.

Unfortunately, some try approaching retirement the same way.

"We'll figure it out."

Sometimes we do.

Sometimes we spend six months reorganizing the garage because we haven't planned anything else.

Women, on the other hand, often attend retirement workshops, ask questions, compare ideas, share experiences, and build support networks.

That isn't weakness.

That's wisdom.

They understand that retirement isn't a solo performance.

It's an ensemble cast.

I've also noticed that many women continue learning long after retirement.

Computers.

Languages.

Painting.

Photography.

Fitness.

Gardening.

History.

Community leadership.

Curiosity keeps showing up in their calendars.

Retirement isn't a graduation ceremony.

It's another semester.

Perhaps the biggest lesson is purpose.

The happiest retirees I've met aren't necessarily the wealthiest.

They're the ones who wake up knowing someone needs them, somewhere wants them, or something excites them.

Purpose keeps us moving.

Purpose gets us out of bed.

Purpose reminds us that our best contributions aren't measured by a paycheque.

Men can absolutely build that kind of retirement.

In fact, many do.

But it rarely happens by accident.

Just as we plan financially, we need to plan socially, emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

We need friends who know us outside the workplace.

We need hobbies that challenge us.

We need places where our experience matters.

Most of all, we need to remember that retirement isn't about stopping.

It's about redirecting decades of knowledge toward new adventures.

So perhaps the greatest compliment I can give the women I've worked with is this:

Thank you.

Thank you for showing many of us that retirement can be active, curious, courageous, generous, and joyful.

You didn't simply accept the old script.

You proved there was a better one.

Now it's our turn to write the next chapter.

Question: Whether you're a man or a woman, what is one lesson you've learned from someone else's retirement that has changed how you're planning your own?

Retirement's Leading Ladies: The Women Who Rewrote the Script

If retirement were a Hollywood movie, many people would expect it to follow an old screenplay.

The leading character works until 65, retires quietly, buys a comfortable chair, spends afternoons watching television, and slowly fades into the background while the younger cast takes over.

Fortunately, a generation of women looked at that script, laughed, tore it into little pieces, and wrote a much better ending.

During my working years, I had the privilege of working alongside many remarkable women. They challenged ideas, questioned authority, solved problems, took risks, and never stopped learning. They made me a better educator, a better leader, and, I believe, a better man.

Now that I am retired, I continue to see that same spirit.

I've organized countless workshops on retirement, healthy aging, and community issues. More often than not, the room is filled with women. When I serve on volunteer boards, women usually make up the majority of members. They are organizing events, raising money, mentoring others, learning new skills, advocating for change, and asking one important question:

"What's next?"

That's not the behaviour of people winding down.

That's the behaviour of people beginning another exciting chapter.

Ask many women in their sixties, seventies, or eighties what they refuse to do anymore, and you'll often receive an answer without much hesitation.

"I won't pretend."

"I won't apologize."

"I won't make myself invisible."

"I won't let someone else decide how I should grow older."

It reminds me of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Once she realizes she's in a strange new world, she doesn't spend the rest of the movie apologizing for arriving. She gathers companions, faces challenges, learns along the way, and follows the Yellow Brick Road toward a future she cannot yet see.

Retirement can feel very much like that road.

You don't always know exactly where it leads.

You simply keep walking.

Many women in the Baby Boomer generation spent decades preparing for this stage without realizing it.

Many balanced careers while raising children.

Some returned to school later in life.

Many managed households while working full-time.

Some survived divorce and rebuilt their financial lives from scratch.

Others became caregivers for parents while still supporting children.

Life became an incredible training ground for retirement.

They learned resilience.

They learned independence.

They learned that when life changes, you adjust the plan instead of giving up on the journey.

Today's retirees also recognize something earlier generations often didn't.

At 65, many people still have twenty or thirty productive years ahead of them.

That's far too much life to spend sitting on the sidelines.

Instead of seeing retirement as an ending, many women see it as freedom.

Freedom to volunteer.

Freedom to travel.

Freedom to learn.

Freedom to advocate for causes they believe in.

Freedom simply to become more fully themselves.

One change I've noticed is that many women no longer feel obligated to stay silent.

Previous generations often accepted being overlooked as simply part of growing older.

Today's women are far more likely to speak up when they experience ageism, unfair treatment, or barriers that limit opportunity.

They have spent decades finding their voices.

Retirement hasn't silenced them.

If anything, it has amplified them.

Of course, every retirement story is unique. Health, finances, family circumstances, and personal preferences all shape the journey. Some women choose quieter lives, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The important point is choice.

This generation has earned the opportunity to choose what retirement looks like instead of accepting someone else's outdated script.

Perhaps that's the greatest lesson of all.

Boomer women aren't refusing to age.

They're refusing to let age define what they're still capable of becoming.

And I have a feeling the sequel is going to be even better than the original.

Question: If retirement gives you the chance to rewrite your own script, what role would you like to play in the next chapter of your life?

Stunt Doubles Not Included: Planning Your Physical Health for Retirement

 Every great movie has exciting scenes.

Heroes climb mountains.

Explore forests.

Dance at weddings.

Travel the world.

Play with grandchildren.

Walk along beaches.

Ride bicycles through parks.

Here's the problem.

Hollywood hires stunt doubles.

Retirement doesn't.

When you're planning for retirement, it's easy to focus on your bank account. But there's another account that deserves just as much attention, your health account.

Because what good is finally having the time to travel if your knees file a formal complaint every morning?

Or buying that dream RV if your back votes against sitting for six hours?

Or having grandchildren eager to play if you're too tired to join them?

Retirement isn't just about living longer.

It's about living better.

That's why planning for physical health should begin years before retirement, not years after.

The good news?

You don't need to become an Olympic athlete.

You simply need to stay in the game.

Think of your body as the camera crew filming your retirement movie.

If the crew quits, the movie stops.

Simple habits make remarkable differences.

Walking regularly.

Keeping your muscles strong.

Maintaining balance and flexibility.

Eating nutritious food most of the time.

Sleeping well.

Scheduling regular medical and dental checkups.

Looking after your hearing and vision.

None of these activities are particularly glamorous.

Neither is brushing your teeth.

Yet somehow we all agree that's a worthwhile investment.

One of the biggest surprises in retirement is how quickly we can become less active.

Work used to provide movement without us noticing.

Walking down hallways.

Climbing stairs.

Carrying groceries.

Standing during meetings.

Even searching for the stapler burned a few calories.

Retirement can quietly replace those activities with a very comfortable recliner.

Before long, the television remote gets more exercise than we do.

Here's another twist.

Exercise isn't only about your muscles.

It improves mood, reduces stress, sharpens thinking, boosts energy and often creates opportunities to meet new friends.

A morning walk can become a daily social event.

A fitness class can introduce you to people who are writing their own retirement stories.

A hike through a local park reminds you that nature has been waiting patiently while you were busy working.

One of the greatest gifts retirement offers is time.

Time to prepare healthy meals.

Time to enjoy local trails.

Time to swim, golf, garden, dance or cycle.

Time to rediscover the simple joy of moving your body.

You don't have to be perfect.

Nobody earns a gold medal for retirement.

You simply want your body to carry you through the adventures you've been dreaming about for years.

Think ahead.

What adventures would you like your retirement movie to include?

Walking the Camino?

Exploring Canada's national parks?

Playing pickleball?

Travelling with friends?

Keeping up with energetic grandchildren?

Those scenes become much easier when you start training before the cameras begin rolling.

The goal isn't to look younger.

It's to stay capable.

Strong enough.

Independent enough.

Healthy enough.

Retirement gives us something incredibly valuable, choice.

Good health helps us keep those choices for as long as possible.

So while you're building your financial nest egg, don't forget to invest in the one asset you'll use every single day.

Your body.

After all, every retirement movie deserves a happy ending, and you'll be performing every scene yourself.

Question: What small change could you make this week that your future retired self would thank you for five or ten years from now?

 

Casting the Stars of Your Retirement: Why Emotional Health Deserves Top Billing

 Imagine you've spent years producing the perfect retirement movie.

The finances are in place.

The pension arrives every month.

The mortgage is paid.

The tickets are sold.

The curtains open...

...and the lead actor has no idea what to do.

That sounds funny, but it happens more often than you might think.

Many of us spend years preparing financially for retirement while giving very little thought to the emotional side of the journey.

For decades, work has quietly shaped our lives. It gave us routines, responsibilities, friendships, challenges and, for many of us, a sense of purpose. Monday mornings had meaning. Fridays felt like victories. Coffee breaks solved many of the world's problems.

Then one day the credits roll.

On Monday morning, nobody is waiting for your report. Nobody schedules a meeting. Nobody sends an email asking if you've got a minute.

At first, that sounds wonderful.

Then...Tuesday arrives.

By Thursday, you've organized the garage twice, alphabetized the spice rack, and seriously considered trimming the neighbour's hedge because it looked lonely.

Retirement isn't just leaving a job.

It's creating a new identity.

That's why emotional planning deserves a starring role in your retirement movie.

Ask yourself some simple questions.

Who will I spend time with?

What will make me excited to get out of bed?

How will I continue learning?

Who needs the experience I've gained over the years?

What will make me laugh?

Those questions are every bit as important as asking whether you've saved enough money.

Some retirees discover new passions through volunteering. Others mentor younger people, join clubs, travel, write, paint, golf, garden, sing in choirs, or finally learn the hobbies they postponed while raising families and building careers.

Many also discover something unexpected.

Retirement gives them permission to become the person they always wanted to be.

The teacher becomes an artist.

The accountant becomes a photographer.

The engineer becomes a woodworker.

The executive discovers grandchildren are much more interesting than board meetings.

The best retirement movies rarely have only one storyline.

They include family, friendships, curiosity, laughter and giving back.

One of the biggest emotional challenges is loneliness.

Your workplace probably provided daily conversations without you even realizing it. Retirement can quietly remove dozens of social connections overnight.

The solution isn't waiting for the phone to ring.

It's becoming the director of your own social life.

Invite people for coffee.

Join community groups.

Volunteer.

Take classes.

Reconnect with old friends.

Keep adding new characters to your story.

The happiest retirees don't simply retire from something.

They retire to something.

Retirement isn't the end of the movie.

It's the beginning of an entirely new season.

And here's the wonderful part.

Unlike Hollywood, there are no age limits on casting.

You can become the hero of a brand-new story at 60, 70, 80 or beyond.

Some of the best chapters of life haven't even been written yet.

So don't let your retirement become two hours of watching daytime television while wondering what happened to the exciting person you used to be.

Write yourself a better script.

Cast yourself in the leading role.

And make it a story worth telling.

Question: If someone watched the first year of your retirement as a movie, would they see a character simply filling time...or someone discovering an exciting new purpose?

Finally, don't forget the supporting actor that makes every great retirement possible, your health. In reel three we will explore how you can think about this aspect of retirement.