Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The secret to happiness is....

“The secret to happiness is contentment”
(Dali Lama)

If we are content with what we have, and where we are, then we are happy. This means not grasping for attainment of material objects or even spiritual understanding, but being content and just allowing life to happen. How does this help us to achieve the things we “want”?

Maslow’s theory on the hierarchy of human “needs”, is one view that can be used to answer that question.

Maslow was an eminent Psychologist who developed a theory on the psychological need of humans. You may have seen his theory as it is often demonstrated in the form of a pyramid, and referred to in relation to Education, Motivation and Sales training.

A summary of his theory is that we humans have “needs” that must be satisfied in an order of priority, before higher ideals can be achieved the lower ideals MUST be met.
The order of these needs does not change from individual to individual, they are as follows:

1.         PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS, air, water, food, rest, exercise, etc
2.         SAFETY NEEDS, shelter, job security, retirement plan, insurance
3.         LOVE AND BELONGING, children, friends, partners
4.         SELF ESTEEM (1), fame, recognition, reputation, dignity
5.         SELF ESTEEM (2) Confidence, achievements, FREEDOM

If we do not meet all the needs in the lower levels we will always be in deficit and be trying to meet them before we can obtain the highest levels of complete self-actualization and FREEDOM.

Here’s a story to illustrate Maslow’s theory in a practical situation, it’s illustrated in a negative context because most of us will understand it better this way. Note: (L5) means level 5 as per above.

The following is based on a true story; some details have been changed to allow for publishing here.

A Person’s car breaks down on an old dirt road in the Barclay plains it’s a scorching 44 degrees in the shade, but there aren’t any trees to provide shelter, he’s in the middle of nowhere, outback, Australia.
He was on his way to Darwin to give a lecture on Self Defence. He had been giving these talks for some time now and really enjoyed sharing his knowledge, not for the respect that others gave him, but because he is a master of the subject and it felt good doing it. (L4/5)
At first he wasn’t concerned about the situation and he allowed his mind to be free and ‘take in’, the beauty of the landscape, he started to reminisce about his friends and family, wondering what they’re doing at that time, then he turned on the radio and drifted off to sleep.
When he woke up he realized that he was feeling lonely and would love to have someone to talk to. (L3)
After a few hours, he started to feel a little uncomfortable and realized that he could be in some danger so he tried to think of a plan for his safety.
After some time he decided to head off in search for help.
It started getting dark and he became worried; his senses were tuned into every sound. (L2)
Then he realized that he had not eaten since breakfast and that he was hungry and thirsty. (L1)
After two more days, his only thoughts were about finding water to stay alive, he wasn’t concerned about eating because his body knew it could survive for weeks without food, but only a few days without water.
So then, his immediate concern was for the basic need of water.
SUDDENLY!! Someone jumped on him from behind, and started to choke him he could not breathe! Then his need for air was stronger than his need for water!
It was only a joke; his best friend had come looking for him when he did not show up in Darwin on time.
He found the car then tracked his mate to where he found him, looking rugged. Then as all good mates do, he decided to play a practical joke to give him a fright! They are still good friends today.

The end

The simple lesson here is this:

This story shows a person who had met all his needs and who was at the highest level of Maslows . He had truly manifested his dream into reality and how he quickly went into “Needs Deficit” (ND)
Clearly, we must walk before we can run, if we cannot breath we are not worried about water, we NEED air, our ND is air; this is a very basic example.
To look at it another way we could say that; trying to be a highly regarded successful whatever (4/5) will not be possible if we are in ND of (1, 2, or 3).

Our ND needs attention first; this does not mean that if we don’t have a house and family we can’t achieve our dream ambitions.

On the contrary, it means that we should, let go of our graving, yearning and striving to achieve success at any cost type of attitude, and maintain our lower levels of needs so that we can open the path to the higher levels.

Many of us, me included have been guilty of forgetting about our needs for friends and family when we are trying to obtain the higher ideals of success.

This area can be a particular problem with the internet, because it uses up so much of our time and attention.
If we maintain our basic needs we will be able share our dreams and talk about them and believe in them and be content and happy about them. If we talk about and share our dreams we start to begin the process of allowing our dreams to manifest into reality.
Doesn’t it make sense that with this kind of thinking we will all be able to move on to the higher levels of self-actualization?

Maintain your ND and believe in your DREAMS the rest will happen!

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