Be confident

Please don't let the wisdom you seek or the changes you wish to manifest be driven by feelings that you're somehow flawed, weak, or lacking. 

Because, strange as it may seem, the ability to imagine change in spite of the illusions that surround you and the ability to move toward change, without even knowing "how" your change will come, is the hallmark of perfection, strength, and divinity. 
 

Smile

"Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." -Og Mandino

We need others in our lives, humans are not meant to be solitary creatures, we need others to maintain our sanity and our perspective. That is one of the reasons that solitary confinement is seen as a severe punishment. 

But how do we reach out to others. We are creatures of habit, most of us live within the habits or the paradigms we have created for ourselves and find it hard to break out of chains we have put ourselves into. 

Some of us are lucky in that we have found ways to do this while others struggle with this everyday. 

Og Mandino in his quote provides us with a clue as to how to meet and reach out to others. He says to smile, hug and share. This is good advice. 

Social Connectedness is as important for the teenager as it is for the senior. When I was teaching for a number of years I had my senior students run a project which I called the smile project. It was a simple project, I had the senior students pick a student in a younger grade that they say on a regular bases and smile every time the senior student saw the younger student. 

The senior student could not speak to the other student, all they could do was make eye contact and smile.  Once the younger student said hello to the senior student, then and only then could the senior student talk to the younger student. 

By running this project I accomplished a number of things, it made the younger students feel welcome in the school and created some strong friendships over the years. The project also allowed students to understand that they controlled how people saw and reacted to them.  

It also taught the senior students, many who were going off to university and college how easy it was to make new friends. Many of my senior students had been with their cohort since grade one and did not have any idea how to make new friends. Everyone in their cohort knew each other and everyone had their role.

I find it easy to reach out to others and I find reaching out starts with a simple smile and saying hello. People like positive people and when we go out of our way to make others feel good, we will feel good ourselves.

Job satisfaction

It's funny don't you think, that when we link job satisfaction to financial compensation alone, we are never paid enough.

Yet, when we see "work" as a way to dance with life, meet new people, and unleash the creative tiger within, we realize that we are very rich, indeed. 

Counting stars

Whoohooo!! Stayed up all night counting the stars!! 

Please don't be alarmed as you walk down the path of life, should you ever find you suddenly don't have the foggiest idea of how your grandest dreams will one day come to pass. 

This is a good thing. A really good thing.  

Know why? Because the only constant in life is change, and if you are in touch with that idea, not knowing how your dreams will come true means that you will have to change. Great eh!

What if?

What if that one person in your life right now that you're not feeling so much love for, was also the one person in your life right now for whom you could make the greatest difference? 

Deepest Fear

This is an interesting viewpoint on living

Our Deepest Fear  by Marianne Williamson from her bestselling book A Return to Love

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world. 

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were all born to manifest the glory of God within us. 

Its not just some of us; it's in everyone. 

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

How do you make decisions about change

I was thinking about changes as I wrestled with a problem a while back, and realized that I had to make a decision between two types of change offered to me. The first was an incremental change that would cause a small shift in process and procedures, but would not cause any radical shift to occur.

The change although small would however, take the group I was making the decision for in a different direction but this would be done over time. Slow change is comfortable, easy to get used to and not a shock to the mind or body and easy to handle especially in these unsettled times.

The other change was a more dramatic shift, dealing with unknowns and would cause the group to change more quickly. This type of change is unsettling, can be dramatic and is unsettling. When I was younger there would have been no hesitation on my part, I would have gone for the dramatic change and not even thought too long about it. However, as I mature, (not grow older) I had to think carefully about how my decision would influence and affect others, perhaps I am getting more empathetic as I become wiser :-0, who knows.

The decision was not easy and I spend a great deal of time weighing pros and cons, examining possible consequences, and went through some not sleepless, but restless nights. I finally made the same decision I would have made in my youth, and who knows where the path will lead. 

I am comfortable in the decision and comfortable with the change that will happen. Being successful relies in part on making wise decisions and part of doing that is relying on good information. With maturity I took the time to weigh all possible options, however I made the decison based on my first instinct. The process was interesting, and helped me realize that over time my first instinct still is as sharp as it was when I was younger. So I still think going with your first instincts can make sense. My question how do you make decisions and are you comfortable with the results of the decisions?

Self-Discipline The control you need to take control

To really be able to focus demands a lot of self-discipline. Remember that your outcome depends on YOU, not on the world around you. If you want something badly enough you WILL do everything in your power to get it.

Self-discipline in this context is basically only letting yourself do what you WANT to do at that precise moment in time to be able to reach your goals more quickly.

Remember that YOU are the boss of your actions. YOU are the one who is in control. So ultimately YOU decide what and when to do things you need to do to achieve your ultimate success.

Your ability to manage your actions is directly related to the level of success and happiness you will experience throughout your life. Managing your actions is commonly known as exercising self-discipline.

It's absolutely not about restricting your lifestyle, or punishing yourself. It's about being able to work with your thoughts, behaviour and actions in order to reach the goals that you wish to reach. 

Not having self-discipline is one of the main reasons why we fail at what we want to do, both professionally and personally. Excuse-making often creates lack of self-discipline, so drop all your excuses and start keeping habits that in themselves will create the self-discipline you need. Make routines that you know you are capable of sticking to, and keep them.

Alzheimer's will not define the Boomers

“Generation Alzheimer's” The Alzheimer's Association recently released a website and report titled “Generation Alzheimer's: The Defining Disease of the Baby Boomers.” If you're interested in learning more about Alzheimer's and what it means for the aging boomer population, check it out! The more we know the more we can take steps to make sure this illness does not define who we are as we age

The secret to happiness is....

“The secret to happiness is contentment”

(Dali Lama)

If we are content with what we have, and where we are, then we are happy. This means not grasping for attainment of material objects or even spiritual understanding, but being content and just allowing life to happen. How does this help us to achieve the things we “want”?

Maslow’s theory on the hierarchy of human “needs”, is one view that can be used to answer that question.

Maslow was an eminent Psychologist who developed a theory on the psychological need of humans. You may have seen his theory as it is often demonstrated in the form of a pyramid, and referred to in relation to Education, Motivation and Sales training.

A summary of his theory is that we humans have “needs” that must be satisfied in an order of priority, before higher ideals can be achieved the lower ideals MUST be met.

The order of these needs does not change from individual to individual, they are as follows:

1.         PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS, air, water, food, rest, exercise, etc

2.         SAFETY NEEDS, shelter, job security, retirement plan, insurance

3.         LOVE AND BELONGING, children, friends, partners

4.         SELF ESTEEM (1), fame, recognition, reputation, dignity

5.         SELF ESTEEM (2) Confidence, achievements, FREEDOM

If we do not meet all the needs in the lower levels we will always be in deficit and be trying to meet them before we can obtain the highest levels of complete self-actualization and FREEDOM.

Here’s a story to illustrate Maslow’s theory in a practical situation, it’s illustrated in a negative context because most of us will understand it better this way. Note: (L5) means level 5 as per above.

The following is based on a true story; some details have been changed to allow for publishing here.

A Person’s car breaks down on an old dirt road in the Barclay plains it’s a scorching 44 degrees in the shade, but there aren’t any trees to provide shelter, he’s in the middle of nowhere, outback, Australia.

He was on his way to Darwin to give a lecture on Self Defence. He had been giving these talks for some time now and really enjoyed sharing his knowledge, not for the respect that others gave him, but because he is a master of the subject and it felt good doing it. (L4/5)

At first he wasn’t concerned about the situation and he allowed his mind to be free and ‘take in’, the beauty of the landscape, he started to reminisce about his friends and family, wondering what they’re doing at that time, then he turned on the radio and drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up he realized that he was feeling lonely and would love to have someone to talk to. (L3)

After a few hours, he started to feel a little uncomfortable and realized that he could be in some danger so he tried to think of a plan for his safety.

After some time he decided to head off in search for help.

It started getting dark and he became worried; his senses were tuned into every sound. (L2)

Then he realized that he had not eaten since breakfast and that he was hungry and thirsty. (L1)

After two more days, his only thoughts were about finding water to stay alive, he wasn’t concerned about eating because his body knew it could survive for weeks without food, but only a few days without water.

So then, his immediate concern was for the basic need of water.

SUDDENLY!! Someone jumped on him from behind, and started to choke him he could not breathe! Then his need for air was stronger than his need for water!

It was only a joke; his best friend had come looking for him when he did not show up in Darwin on time.

He found the car then tracked his mate to where he found him, looking rugged. Then as all good mates do, he decided to play a practical joke to give him a fright! They are still good friends today.

The end

The simple lesson here is this:

This story shows a person who had met all his needs and who was at the highest level of Maslows . He had truly manifested his dream into reality and how he quickly went into “Needs Deficit” (ND)

Clearly, we must walk before we can run, if we cannot breath we are not worried about water, we NEED air, our ND is air; this is a very basic example.

To look at it another way we could say that; trying to be a highly regarded successful whatever (4/5) will not be possible if we are in ND of (1, 2, or 3).

Our ND needs attention first; this does not mean that if we don’t have a house and family we can’t achieve our dream ambitions.

On the contrary, it means that we should, let go of our graving, yearning and striving to achieve success at any cost type of attitude, and maintain our lower levels of needs so that we can open the path to the higher levels.

Many of us, me included have been guilty of forgetting about our needs for friends and family when we are trying to obtain the higher ideals of success.

This area can be a particular problem with the internet, because it uses up so much of our time and attention.

If we maintain our basic needs we will be able share our dreams and talk about them and believe in them and be content and happy about them. If we talk about and share our dreams we start to begin the process of allowing our dreams to manifest into reality.

Doesn’t it make sense that with this kind of thinking we will all be able to move on to the higher levels of self-actualization?

Maintain your ND and believe in your DREAMS the rest will happen!

10 Rules for being human in 2011

by Cherie Carter-Scott
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.