by Jean
Reagan
Posted:
09/08/2012 10:53 am
Jean Reagan is the author of "How to Babysit a Grandpa.")
Celebrate
Grandparents Day by sharing a book with a child. Or a stack of books!
What's so
grand about grandparents, anyway?
Grandparents
as pinch-hitters often offer the grandchild a fresh, more relaxed love than
most parents can manage 24/7. The challenge of parenting a child while juggling
work, community, partners and perhaps school can be overwhelming. But
grandparenting is parenting with a "do-over" option. Grandparents
usually have full adult lives behind them. Grandparents know it doesn't pay to
sweat the small stuff, so their love can be easy-going.
Grandparents
enjoy a more peaceful stage of life, allowing them the time and energy to be
more playful with their grandkids. Authority and power between the child and
grandparent is less defined, less one-sided, creating a more equal, playful
relationship. Grandkids help the grandparents recapture their younger years,
both the delights of childhood and the wonder of becoming a parent.
Grandparents
are often the first window that expands a child's vision beyond the immediate
nuclear family. Grandparents create an organic connection to the past which may
offer the traditions of a rural life or a different culture or just an earlier
time. Through family stories, children savor and preserve these roots. And
through family stories, children can even imagine their own parents as
children. That's mind expanding, for sure.
Grand folks,
of course, need not be blood relatives to serve as grandparents. Growing up in
Japan, I saw my grandparents only every five years; yet I had a slew of
neighborhood grandparents we all called "Obaachan" (Grandma) and
"Ojiichan" (Grandpa). Children thrive from the love and attention of
a multitude of stand-in grandparents. Joyfully for us, this love and attention
is reciprocated.
What's so
grand about grandparents? They expand the grandchild's world of love and
belonging. In return, the grandparent is reintroduced to the wonder of
childhood and the rewards of parenting.
My dad was
definitely one of the inspirations for this book. Watching my dad play with my
kids gave me lots of ideas, but I also asked other kids, grandkids,
grandparents and parents, "What do you enjoy doing with your
grandpa?" This "research" created a long, long list. Of course,
there wasn't room for everything, so I chose my favorites and wrote "How
To Babysit A Grandpa" (Alfred A. Knopf) around these activities.
Each summer I
volunteer as a wilderness ranger on a lake in the Grand Teton National Park in
Wyoming. I welcome back families who stay at the same campsites year after
year. Campers who brought their children now bring their grandchildren. I've
even heard stories of long-ago grandparents who honeymooned in the park in the
1920s. As I canoe by the lakeshore campsites, I watch grandparents envelope
kids with relaxed, playful, expansive love, and I witness that love radiated
back. That is what's so grand about grandparents.
When you grab
that stack of books to share with a child, you may want to try some of my
favorite grandparent books -- classics and newbies, but all beautifully
illustrated. And remember: don't let a narrow definition of grandparent slow
you down. As a non-grandparent myself, I don't!
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