Communication is a important for your success but many of us do not communicate well. The following is one way that we do not communicate well. Source: Here
Invalidating communication treats people poorly, labels people, and denies their uniqueness. The non-supportive person “knows it all” and does not take into account other people's perspectives and feelings.
On the other hand, a supportive communicator respects people, treats others as his or her equal, and works with people through problems and solutions to create a mutual agreement.
Let's say you want to go out to dinner with your partner who wants to stay at home. Invalidating responses to your partner staying home, along with the reasons they are invalidating, are:
“Just believe me we'll have a good time.” - communicates you are superior.
“You're always unwilling to do something interesting when I want.” - uses the diagnosing barrier by degrading your partner as being resistant to you.
“Oh, come on. Don't be lazy.” - labels your partner as “lazy”.
Some validating responses that communicate support are:
“Do you have a solution that would help each of us get what we want?”
“Why do you want to stay at home instead of going out?”
“What if you choose what to do tonight and I'll choose tomorrow night for dinner or vice-aversa?”
Each of these three responses are validating because they value the person. People get “treated as worthwhile, competent and insightful” from validating communication. Whenever you can value someone and make them feel unique.
Invalidating communication treats people poorly, labels people, and denies their uniqueness. The non-supportive person “knows it all” and does not take into account other people's perspectives and feelings.
On the other hand, a supportive communicator respects people, treats others as his or her equal, and works with people through problems and solutions to create a mutual agreement.
Let's say you want to go out to dinner with your partner who wants to stay at home. Invalidating responses to your partner staying home, along with the reasons they are invalidating, are:
“Just believe me we'll have a good time.” - communicates you are superior.
“You're always unwilling to do something interesting when I want.” - uses the diagnosing barrier by degrading your partner as being resistant to you.
“Oh, come on. Don't be lazy.” - labels your partner as “lazy”.
Some validating responses that communicate support are:
“Do you have a solution that would help each of us get what we want?”
“Why do you want to stay at home instead of going out?”
“What if you choose what to do tonight and I'll choose tomorrow night for dinner or vice-aversa?”
Each of these three responses are validating because they value the person. People get “treated as worthwhile, competent and insightful” from validating communication. Whenever you can value someone and make them feel unique.
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