A Newfie won a fishing boat in a raffle and tows it home. His wife looks at him and says, "What in the name o' Lard Jasus are you gonna do wit dat, bye? We lives on a farm. There's nary a bit o' water within 75 miles o' 'ere."
He says, "Don't care. I won 'er and I'm gonna keep 'er."...
Several days later the Newfie's brother comes over to visit. He looks out in the field behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a fishing boat in the middle of the field with a fishing rod in his hand.
He stands at the edge of the field and yells out to him, "What the frig are you doin'?"
His brother calls back, "I'm fishin'. What the frig does it look like I'ma doin'?"
His brother yells back, "Lard tunderin' my son, it's people like you that gives Newfie's a bad name, making everyone think we're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick you in the friggin arse."