Follow up to my challenge

I was thinking about the fact that I have some very close friends, who I have known for a while. Social Connectedness is a big concern for seniors and many people as they age begin to feel isolated, as family and friends leave or die.

It is easy to say just make some new friends, but that is not easy for many. My friends are people who I have known for over 20 years. My latest friend I have known for 3 years. Looking at my list of friends I realized that I was becoming lazy and was missing out by not actively seeking new friends Yesterday I issued a challenge t see everyone, as a brand new challenge to find a new friend or to fall in love.

However, issuing a challenge without some background would not be fair, so lets talk about friends and friendship.

Friendship is an interesting aspect of our life when we were young making friends was not hard, but how do we as seniors go about making new friends, in fact, what makes a friend? 

• What do you value most in your friends?
• Do you look for people who enjoy the same activities as you?
• Do you like spending time with people who share similar beliefs to you?
• Do you prefer acquaintances that challenge your beliefs and make you think
• Perhaps you enjoy the company of people who share similar political or religious beliefs.

No matter what your preferences, it pays to be conscious of your choice of friends.

If you are thinking that it might be worthwhile to seek out new friends and adventures, first get over the idea that everybody else your age already has all the friends they need. Nobody wears a sign that says 'I'm looking for a friend,' but there are a lot of people out there in the same boat.

Pursue your own hobbies and interests so you are an interesting person and can meet people who are like-minded. If the church or the regular commitment of volunteer work doesn't appeal to you, cross those options off your list and find other ways to put yourself in contact with new people.

When you know what kinds of friends you are looking for, you can choose to engage in activities that will give you an opportunity to meet new people of your choosing. For example, are there political, religious, sports, social or other groups that you could re-engage with? 

Taking the time to think about what friendship means to you will make it more likely that you will see opportunities to start conversations in more natural settings – at the supermarket, in the post office, or in the park.

So, give some thought to what you’re looking for in a friend. Write your thoughts in a diary, if you have time. Friendship takes time, effort and advance planning. Think about the type of person that you’d like to meet and you just might increase your chances of meeting them!

There is an organization called MeetUp.com where people who are looking for companionship can either start groups in their local communities or join existing ones. They are organized by interest and by zip code. Some are specifically focused on seniors if you feel more comfortable with your age peers. There may other online communities where you can meet people with shared interests.