Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Who is in your crcle?

Who is in your circle? When we are young, we have a large circle of friends and a larger circle of acquaintances. Over time that circle changes, I once read that we have a circle of influence (friends, family and acquaintances) of about 200 people. I am not sure if that number is true or not, but it is, I think, pretty close to the reality of our life. 

When we marry and invite people to our wedding we try to hold the party to close friends and family from each side. So, we take the time and have great discussions about who we should invite and who we could not invite. We eliminate from our list, those people who are not very close to us. This is hard for both the bride and the groom but once the elimination of people is completed, the wedding guest list is around 200 plus people. 

When we die, the notice goes out to all those who have known us and at most funerals, there are about 200 hundred people, made up of friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances. They are not the same people who were at our wedding, because as we move through life our circle of 200 changes. 

Some years it expands, some years it contracts, but the size stays fairly constant--unless you are not a very nice person. In your life, you have people who love you, mentored you, who helped you, who helped, you mentored and you love. Those people play an important role in our life. John Lennon sums it up well in his song "In My Life"

"There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life, I love you more"

Think about this words and the people that surround you even now. They see, hear, and feel what you see, hear, and feel. They trade vantage points, study possibilities, and learn to think bigger. They boast about you, honour you, and smile at your jokes. They only ever argue over who likes you most.

Shhhh... they're reading this...


  1. Oh dear we only had 21 immediate family and very,very close friends and I'm planning to live so long there'll only be a handful at the funeral!

  2. Caree, like you I have only a small group in my circle, which is a deliberate choice on my part. However, what I find interesting is that there are people who count me in their circle of friends that I don't count in mine. People are very interesting and sometimes strange.