Confusion, indecision, and uncertainty

Confusion, indecision, and uncertainty are like mischievous gremlins playing tricks on our minds, taunting us with their tantalizing dance of options. It's as if they conspire to keep us in a perpetual state of bewilderment, hoping to see us stumble and fumble our way through life's choices. But fear not, for within this chaos lies a silver lining, a hidden gem of hope.

Sometimes, when we find ourselves teetering on the precipice of a decision, it's tempting to rush headlong into an option that appears satisfactory, just to escape the discomfort of uncertainty. Yet, if we have the patience to wait, to let the sands of time sift through our fingers, an extraordinary thing may happen. A superior alternative might unveil itself, sparkling with such brilliance that it catches us off guard, almost like a playful tap on your forehead.

Imagine the sheer delight of that moment—the epiphany when clarity descends upon us like a gust of wind, sweeping away the fog of confusion that had shrouded our judgment. Suddenly, the world aligns itself in perfect harmony, as if the universe conspired to orchestrate this revelation solely for our benefit. It's an experience that can be both exhilarating and overwhelming, leaving us momentarily breathless as we surrender to its captivating allure.

In those instances, the universe seems to play the role of a whimsical matchmaker, bringing together two souls—the seeker and the sought-after—whose destinies were entwined in a cosmic dance. As we extend our hand towards this newfound option, we can almost feel the electric current of possibilities surging through our veins. We're swept off our feet, carried away by the sheer force of the enchantment that fills the air.

However, let us not forget the lessons taught by our mischievous friends, confusion and indecision. While the emergence of a better option may indeed be a captivating phenomenon, we must approach it with a touch of skepticism. Is this newfound clarity a genuine revelation, or merely a passing infatuation? Will it stand the test of time, or is it a fleeting mirage that will vanish as quickly as it appeared?

The key lies in maintaining a balance between patience and action, between embracing the serendipity that comes with waiting and the courage required to seize the opportunity when it arises. It's a delicate dance—one that demands both mindfulness and intuition. So, my dear friend, be ready to pounce when the moment is right, but also be open to the possibility that clarity may yet have more surprises in store for you.

Remember, life is a grand tapestry woven with threads of uncertainty. Embrace the confusion, revel in the indecision, and dance with the uncertainty. For it is within the interplay of these elements that the true magic of discovery lies, ready to sweep you off your feet and lead you towards a future brighter than you ever imagined.

Facing challenges, fear and loss with humour

It's an absolute law  that every challenge, fear, or loss you encounter bears gifts far more valuable than the price of the trouble they cause.

Ah, yes, the absolute law of life, where challenges, fears, and losses are like those little pranksters that show up unannounced at your doorstep. But fret not, my friend, for they come bearing gifts! Gifts so valuable that they make the trouble they cause seem like a mere drop in the bucket.

You're going about your day, minding your own business, and suddenly, the doorbell rings. You open it, and there stands a challenge with a mischievous grin. It hands you a beautifully wrapped package and says, "Hey, I heard you were getting too comfortable. Here's a little something to spice up your life!" Inside that package is the gift of resilience, the ability to bounce back stronger and wiser than before. Turns out, challenges are just personal trainers for your character!

But challenges aren't the only visitors on this comedic journey. Fear, oh fear, the ultimate trickster. It creeps in when you least expect it, hiding behind the curtains of your mind. But fear isn't all bad. It has a knack for disguising its gifts. When fear comes knocking, it hands you a mysterious package wrapped in uncertainty and whispers, "Here's a chance to discover your true courage!" Inside that package lies the gift of bravery, the power to face your fears head-on and conquer them like a majestic knight slaying a dragon.

And let's not forget about our dear old pal, Loss. Loss is like that friend who comes over unannounced, eats all your snacks, and leaves you feeling empty-handed. But hold on a minute! Before you give Loss the evil eye, take a closer look at the gift it left behind. It's a humble-looking package, slightly worn around the edges. You open it with caution, and voilà! Inside lies the gift of gratitude, a gentle reminder to cherish what you still have and to find joy in the simplest of things. Turns out, Loss is just a sneaky teacher, reminding us not to take life's blessings for granted.

So, embrace those challenges, fears, and losses with open arms, for they are simply delivering the most valuable gifts to your doorstep. And remember, in this cosmic comedy called life, laughter is the best way to unwrap those gifts and find the hidden treasures within. Happy unwrapping!

Do not make your life a parody of itself.

In her weekly blog, “The Marginalian by Maria Popova” talked about growing older and I thought about what she said and found this question and some ideas on an answer:

How can we, as we grow older not make life a parody of itself  if we believe that life is largely a matter of how we hold ourselves — our hearts, our fears, our forgiveness’s — along the procession of the years.

As we grow older, it's natural to contemplate the meaning and purpose of life and how to avoid it becoming a parody of itself. If we believe that life is largely influenced by how we hold ourselves—our hearts, fears, and capacity for forgiveness—along the journey of the years, there are several principles we can consider making the most of our lives:

Developing self-awareness allows us to understand our strengths, weaknesses, values, and aspirations. It enables us to make conscious choices and align our actions with our true selves.

Continuously seek opportunities for personal growth and learning. Engage in activities that challenge you intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually. This pursuit keeps life vibrant and prevents stagnation.

Nurture deep connections with family, friends, and community. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive individuals adds richness to your life and provides a sense of belonging.

Identify your passions and find ways to incorporate them into your daily life. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, and fulfillment gives a sense of purpose and helps counteract the monotony that can arise with age.

Approach life with curiosity and open-mindedness. Embrace new experiences, ideas, and perspectives. It keeps the mind active, encourages personal growth, and prevents life from becoming predictable.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by acknowledging and appreciating the present moment and the blessings in your life. Mindfulness allows you to fully experience each day, savoring the simple pleasures and finding beauty in the ordinary.

Life is full of transitions and unexpected events. Embracing change and maintaining flexibility in your thinking and approach can help you navigate challenges and find new opportunities.

Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional health. Regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and managing stress contribute to overall well-being, enabling you to enjoy life to the fullest.

Be true to yourself and live according to your values and beliefs. Avoid comparing your journey to others and resist societal pressures that may lead you astray from your authentic path.

You can lighten the weight of life's challenges and inject joy into everyday moments. Cultivate a sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself and the absurdities of life.

Remember, these are guiding principles to help you shape your own unique journey. Life is a continuous process of self-discovery, and by holding yourself with an open heart, facing your fears, and practicing forgiveness, you can find meaning and fulfillment as you grow older, and life will not be a parody of itself.

To end with a quote from Simone de Beauvoir

There is only one solution if old age is not to be an absurd parody of our former life, and that is to go on pursuing ends that give our existence a meaning — devotion to individuals, to groups or to causes, social, political, intellectual or creative work… In old age, we should wish still to have passions strong enough to prevent us turning in on ourselves. One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, compassion

Celebrate everyone, but how?

I recently saw a sign that said “Celebrate Everyone” I thought that was a great idea in theory but how do we do that on a practical level. Here are some ideas to celebrate everyone.

Let's celebrate everyone's unique qualities and quirks! Whether you're a morning person or a night owl, a cat lover or a dog enthusiast, we can all come together and appreciate the diverse tapestry of humanity. After all, life would be pretty boring if we were all the same. So, let's raise a glass to our individual quirks and toast to a world full of delightful differences!

Let's celebrate the joy of self-expression! Whether you have smooth moves or two left feet, it's time to hit the dance floor and let loose. Remember, the goal isn't to impress the judges on a reality show; it's about having fun and embracing the rhythm of life. So, dust off those dance shoes, crank up the music, and get ready to dance like nobody's watching... or at least like they're too mesmerized to judge your funky dance moves!

Life is full of little triumphs, and it's time we celebrated them all! From successfully untangling a pair of earphones to finding a matching pair of socks on the first try, these tiny wins deserve recognition. Let's start a movement where we high-five each other for conquering the mundane challenges that life throws our way. After all, it's the small victories that make the journey worthwhile, and we deserve a standing ovation for every one of them!

We all stumble and fall from time to time, but why not turn those missteps into a comedy routine? Let's celebrate our failures by transforming them into hilarious anecdotes that bring smiles to our faces. Share that time you mistook salt for sugar in your coffee or when you accidentally locked yourself out of the house wearing nothing but your pyjamas. Life's too short to take ourselves too seriously, so let's have a good laugh and celebrate our ability to find humour in even the most embarrassing moments.

Pyjamas all day, every day! Who says we need to dress to impress? Let's celebrate our casual side by declaring every day a pyjama party. Imagine the freedom of waking up, throwing on your comfiest PJs, and conquering the world with your relaxed style. It's time to bid farewell to restrictive dress codes and embrace the snuggly goodness of loungewear. So, grab your coziest onesie or your favourite worn-in pyjamas and join the revolution of celebrating comfort in style!

Remember, the celebration is all about inclusivity and finding joy in the little things. So, let's embrace our unique qualities, dance like nobody's watching, celebrate small victories, turn failures into comedy gold, and dress for comfort. Together, we can create a world filled with laughter, acceptance, and celebration for everyone!

The comfort of familiarity

A minister was giving what I call an “audition sermon” at a church, in hopes of being called as their pastor. After the sermon, members of the congregation were invited to ask questions. Like many churches, this one was becoming smaller and grayer as the members age. One person asked the minister what he would do to “grow” the church. He responded, “That depends on what you are willing to risk. Everyone like you is already here.”

This is true for many of us in our individual lives as well. We seek the comfort of familiarity – with people, events, ideas, beliefs. We shun whatever causes us discomfort. Pause for a moment and consider what might fall in that category. Take an honest inventory. Something might surprise you.

For example, I found that in certain circumstances, I was more concerned by what other people think than I realized. Even more, I was concerned by what I thought they might think. Since I generally see myself as someone who boldly marches to the beat of my own drum, I felt a little disappointed. That disappointment also caused some discomfort. I can also get impatient with people who do not behave the way I think they should. And I can feel awkward, and sometimes envious, around people who have what I describe as an “artist’s eye” on the world, a perspective that often seems mysterious and incomprehensible to me.

So, what happens if I stop defending the borders of my sphere and instead allow my sphere to expand to include whatever arises in my awareness? Nothing is denied. Go back to my list. Can I allow within my sphere my occasional concern with what other people think? And my related self-judgment? Can I accept that I am sometimes impatient or awkward? Can I recognize my absence of control over what other people think, say or do? And my attendant frustration? If I’m unable to embrace what I reject, can I embrace my rejection?

Things Grandpa tried to teach me:

 Things Grandpa tried to teach me:

1) Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

2)A yellow jacket is faster than a John Deere tractor.

3) Words that soak into your ear are whispered, not yelled.

4) Meanness doesn't happen overnight.

5) Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

6) Don't corner something meaner than you.

7) The best sermons are lived, not preached.

8) Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

9) Don't squat with your spurs on.

10) Don't judge people by their relatives.

11) Don’t interfere with things that are not bothering you.

12) Letting’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it in

13) You can't tell how good a man is or a watermelon is till they are thumped

14) Always drink upstream from the heard

15) Never miss a good chance to shut up

 My Grandpa lived in a different time and in a different world. He was a farmer who lived in rural Saskatchewan, and he did not like the cities and never visited them. As you can see some of what he told me I could never use, but the thought was there. I have put in bold those ideas that I think are important, not only to farmers but to the rest of us as well.

 As we move on in life, we may decide to teach our grandchildren, grand nieces and nephews our views on life. What we need to remember is that they live in a different world than we did and advice that we give has been learned as we became successful in our world. Our advice, no matter how meaningful it is to us, may not be relevant to our grandchildren. Their world is different, and they may have to learn life’s lessons the way we did, by trial and error. Nothing wrong with that.

What do we carry?

If you are strong, I believe you have an obligation to help those of us who are weaker than you. if you have the strength of body, mind or of character, you have an obligation to help those who are not as strong as you are. The strong carry the weak, in my world, they do not bully coerce or take advantage of them.

If you are rich, remember that our society helped you get or stay rich. Our education system provided you with the opportunities to learn or the opportunity to tap in and learn from people that were/are smatter than you. Our taxes helped build the infrastructure that your business uses to get goods to market, our system of laws helps protect your wealth. So, in my world, the rich carry the poor. If you are healthy and happy, and you know people who are sick and sad, you have a responsibility to help them. Sick and sad people may not be able to look out for themselves. So, in my world, the sick, carry the sick, and the happy carry the sad. 

Why do or should we help, because at some point in our life, we were weak, sick, sad or poor and we were helped by others? Whether or not we remember, this was once our promise, to thank those who had carried us. 

Do you find yourself dwelling

Do you find yourself dwelling on the unimportant, stressing on the unintended, and freaking over the unknown? When you do this does it work for you? I doubt it, dwelling on the unimportant, or freaking out over the unknown simply doesn't work. I know because when I was younger, I did this from time to time and I found it was like lighting a match, in a dark room, to make sure no one spilled any gunpowder on my bicycle, under the stairs, near the back porch, in the dark of February.

Actually, some of what I just said was intentionally unimportant, to hopefully distract you from feeling any stigma for freaking out over earlier unknowns.

Why do we think stressing on the unintended or freaking out over the unknown will work, perhaps it because it allows us to be distracted from doing something rather than doing nothing? If we attempt to do something and something unintended happens, this means we have not considered all aspects of our plan so we are now faced with something we had not thought of that has happened. One way to face this issue is to embrace it, learn from it and incorporate it into what we do next. The other way is to stress about it, run from it and reject it, or we could just stress about it and do nothing. The best way to prevent this from happening is to think about what you want to do and consider all possibilities and how you will react to them.

What does freaking out about the unknown do for you except to increase your blood pressure, your anxiety and cause grief for people around you? If you don’t know what is happening or there is an unknown confronting you, get information about it before you act. Asking questions is a good method and a good way to start to find out what is going on, try it, it works.

Dwelling on the unimportant things in your life is a coping mechanism to help you hide from dealing with the important aspects of your life. We all know what is important to us and we need to deal with these first.

The path less chosen

Memories are made of this, is a refrain from an old song and it talks about how we make our memories. As we get older, time flies and it could be because of how we see time and how we make memories. In a new book, The Art of Making Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments by Meik Wiking. Published by William Morrow. Copyright © 2019 by Meik Wiking the idea of how to make memories is explored. According to the author, there is something called the reminiscence effect, or reminiscence bump. This bump is caused by the fact that we remember better new and novel things, and since those new and novel things decrease for us as we age, our memories are stronger of times when we were younger.

As teenagers, we experience our first breakup, our first love, our first kiss, our first time driving and these stay in our memories. In our twenties, we also experience many new events that also stay with us over time. In another post, I talked about how time flies and how we can change our perception to slow it down or speed time up. The way to slow down time is to experience more firsts and break out of our daily routine. When we were teenagers and 20 somethings, we had many firsts but as we hit our 60’s these firsts are harder to find. We may have become jaded and this causes live to speed up. Experiencing firsts and changes of the scene play an important role in organizing the way we remember our lives.

If we want life to slow down, to make moments memorable and your life unforgettable, try to harness the power of firsts. In your daily routine, it’s also an idea to consider how you can turn the ordinary into something more extraordinary to help you remember the event. It may be little things. If you always walk down the path well-trodden, it might make the day feel a little more extraordinary if you walk down the path less chosen. If you are always walking the path less chosen then perhaps it would be nice to travel the path well-trodden.

Ever thought about this

We want many things but need far less. The funny thing is that the less you think about how you can get something, like money, love, or laughter... the faster it will come.

Walkin' on sunshine, life is strange

Your fan club

Life can be difficult, we each wage battles to survive and to prosper,  would it make any difference if you knew that there are people who understand deeply, the battles you've waged? 

They know and have approved of the choices you've made. Each of us has our own fan club, the members of your fan club will be gathering with you tomorrow if they can. They will be celebrating the passage of another year in your life. The will be celebrating what you have taught them and the difference you have made in their life. 

They celebrate you just as you celebrate them. At one point, people got together tomorrow to celebrate a birth, but not as many of us are religious anymore. However, we still get together to celebrate, and we celebrate each other and the difference we make in each other's life. Well, believe it or not, you make a difference and have meaning for many people, celebrate the day with them and enjoy their company. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Did you ever wonder?

The odd thing about inspiration is that it often comes after, not before, a new journey is started.

Do you believe in miracles?

Do you believe in miracles? For thousands of years, many of us believed in miracles, which were considered a surprising and welcome event that was not explainable by natural or scientific laws as we knew them. Accordingly, because we had no explanation of what happened, we considered the event the result of an intervention of a supreme agency. Those that believe in a supreme agency have different visions of what that agency is and how the agency interacts with humans. That difference in vision has resulted in many terrible actions between humans. Some who believe in one vision, attack those who have another vision of this supreme agency.

As our understanding of natural and scientific laws expanded, those events which we used to consider miracles are now seen in a new light. But because many of us believe in a supreme agency we continue to believe in the idea that miracles can and do happen. 

I believe that we are in control of how we react to the events in our lives and because we are, we create our own miracles. Because we are in control we are entitled to as many miracles in a day that we want. You could create as many miracles as breaths you take. You control the events in your life; you control how they unfold, you control the miracles that happen in your life and any miracles you don't use, you can carry them over. 

All you have to do to create the miracle is expect it, then you will create the miracle you need.

Who is in your crcle?

Who is in your circle? When we are young, we have a large circle of friends and a larger circle of acquaintances. Over time that circle changes, I once read that we have a circle of influence (friends, family and acquaintances) of about 200 people. I am not sure if that number is true or not, but it is, I think, pretty close to the reality of our life. 

When we marry and invite people to our wedding we try to hold the party to close friends and family from each side. So, we take the time and have great discussions about who we should invite and who we could not invite. We eliminate from our list, those people who are not very close to us. This is hard for both the bride and the groom but once the elimination of people is completed, the wedding guest list is around 200 plus people. 

When we die, the notice goes out to all those who have known us and at most funerals, there are about 200 hundred people, made up of friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances. They are not the same people who were at our wedding, because as we move through life our circle of 200 changes. 

Some years it expands, some years it contracts, but the size stays fairly constant--unless you are not a very nice person. In your life, you have people who love you, mentored you, who helped you, who helped, you mentored and you love. Those people play an important role in our life. John Lennon sums it up well in his song "In My Life"

"There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life, I love you more"

Think about this words and the people that surround you even now. They see, hear, and feel what you see, hear, and feel. They trade vantage points, study possibilities, and learn to think bigger. They boast about you, honour you, and smile at your jokes. They only ever argue over who likes you most.

Shhhh... they're reading this...

Are you a Master?

Here is an idea, everyone can be a Master of something. There are many potential Masters among us. They are scattered throughout the continents to shine their lights as brightly as possible, simply by being themselves, living mostly "ordinary" lives. They are the people who lead in stressful situations, they are the ones who pick on the small community issues that cause others problems. They are the activists, the fighters, the visionaries, the dreamers among us.

Until there are enough of them walking the earth, and a tipping point is reached at the deepest energetic levels we will walk in darkness. Once we reach the tipping point where we are surrounded by these Masters we will be raised ever higher into the light, simply for being in their midst, as if through osmosis. 

Of course... there's always been the risk that these Masters, once immersed in a sea of limited thinkers, might mistake their "ordinary" lives as simply ordinary lives, think they're simply one of the herd, and therefore not appreciate their unique perspectives, grasp their mission, or love themselves as they are, no matter what others think, and the whole osmosis thing won't work. If that is the case, then we are in big trouble, but I don't believe the Masters will be held back by the "ordinary lives" they lead. We need to celebrate unique perspectives and individuals and help them reach their potential.

How are you holding up? Loving yourself? Understanding that you could be a Master that has not yet recognized their true worth?