Finding the Source of Your Fear

I used to have an irrational fear of horses. Growing up I delivered papers along a river in the country and there was a number of horses that used the trail along the river. Every time the horses came through I became paralyzed and would not move for sometimes hours. I never understood my fear and when I went to University, the group I was in loved to go horseback riding for fun. I joined them a few times but my fear would overcome me and I would have to withdraw. I finally overcame my fear by following some of the steps I outline below. It was not easy but I did overcome my fear of horses.

Unless you get to the source of a problem, it is difficult to solve it. The same is the case with your fears. If you are serious about getting rid of your fears and lead a more rewarding life free of fears, then you need to take care of this step before you can face or overcome your fear. When I found the source of my fear I was able to understand how irrational my fear was. I found out that when I was about 3 years old, I was kicked by one of the horses on the family farm and was out of commission for a few weeks.

Recognizing that triggers of your fears will help you either control, reduce, or fight them. Regardless of the type of fear you have, there is always a source. One approach to overcoming your fears is to take the time to write down your fears and their level of intensity. Then, add a note about environmental, emotional, or other factors that trigger that fear. This may help you trace the source of your fear. Look not only at external triggers but also consider internal triggers. Was there something in your past that created this emotional response? It is basically as simple as asking yourself, “Why am I afraid?”! So I asked that question and realized that every time I saw a horse I had an unconscious flashback to my childhood. Once I realized what was happening I was able to start to take control of my emotional state.

Another significant reason why determining the cause of your concern is of fundamental is that it empowers you to assess whether it is something that you can handle and control on your own, or whether you need expert help. In my case with my fear of horses I was able to take control of myself, but sometimes it is better to get help.

If you want further success in mastering your worries, then you need to take the lead so you can get individual help for whatever fears or concerns that drain you. Here are tips to get you started on the right track:

•                  Remain positive. Fears that produce negative impact are also triggered by negative thoughts and outlook on life. Therefore, you must try to sweep aside those adverse thoughts from your consciousness to stop yourself from feeling sad.

•                  Communicate with your internal self. There is no character who understands your concerns than you do. So, you need to build knowledge about your fears by knowing them and splitting them down into more manageable parts.

•                  Assess your fears. Some concerns are unreasonable and often reside in the subconscious of the person instead of actual reality.

The importance of learning how to overcome your fears is rather obvious. No one wants to live their lives in constant worry or fear, no matter how intense it may be. An anxiety-free life is one that provides more opportunity for growth and liberates you.

Here are techniques that I tried and worked for me, you can try them if you want to find relief from your fears or totally eliminate them:

*Visualization

*Gather facts

*Get professional help

Visualization

Take time each day to find a place where you can be isolated and be able to concentrate. Your objective is to move to a low-stress position where you have power over your fear, instead of the opposite. Imagine your fear as a concrete object that you destroy. You will never realize how it is able to calm you down. I did this first by viewing pictures of horses, and then I started visiting horses that were at country fairs and over time I was able to be around horses without uncontrolled fear taking over me.

Gather Facts

Most fears are caused by the unknown or people's inability to have control over a given situation. When you are experiencing certain types of fear, you need to look at the truth of the circumstances and find the knowledge that you need. The more data the less stressed you become, because you always know you can handle the stress. Once I was aware of the facts and found out that up until and even I was kicked, I loved horses. It was not until I was away from them for about 2 years that the fear took over.

Professional Help

If you are one of those people who doesn’t use or perform self-talk or confront their fears head-on, then it is best to seek professional help. A professional will start by assessing your fears and then suggest techniques that you can employ to combat those fears. Overcoming fears is often a long process, so don't expect to get rid of all your fears (if you have many) at once. It took me about 5 years to overcome my fear and to actually like being around horses again.