A bit of humour

My thanks to the people at “Postscript” for these gems

·       Crushing pop cans is soda pressing

·       The problem with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected

·       People are making apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow

·       Autocorrect made me say things I didn’t Nintendo

·       If ignorance is bliss than I know some people who should be happier than they seem

·       I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.

·       Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

·       Puns ab out communism are not funny unless everyone gets them

·       If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

·       I ordered a chicken and an egg on the Internet just to see which one comes first

·       I ate a dictionary and got thesaurus throat.

·       I can tell if people are judgmental just by looking at them.

·       Despite the high cost of living it remains popular

·       WELL, TO BE FRANK, I’d have to change my name

·       A book hit my head and I have only my shelf to blame

·       The cook was a good cook, as cooks go, and as cooks go, she went.

·       In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

·       Think about how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

·       A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

·       Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

·       Never be a pioneer. It was the Early Christians that got the hungriest lion.

·       I hate posterity—it’s so fond of having the last word.