ENGLISH IS HARD

1.            The bandage was wound around the wound.

2.            The farm was used to produce produce.

3.           The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

3.     We must polish the Polish furniture.

4.             He could lead if he would get the lead out.

5.            The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

6.            Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

7.            A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

8.            When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

9.             I did not object to the object.

10.       The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

11.       There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

12.      They were too close to the door to close it.

13.      He coughed when the bough broke through rough handling even though he thought the slough caused sloughing.

14.      “I NEVER SAID SHE STOLE MY MONEY"

a.   This sentence has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word. This hit me like a brick. And people wonder why authors use italics and bold so readers understand what the hell is going on.

b.   I never said she stole my money.

c.    I never said she stole my money.

d.   I never said she stole my money.

e.   I never said she stole my money.

f.      I never said she stole my money.

g.    I never said she stole my money.

h.   I never said she stole my money.

             To clarify:

b.   I never said she stole my money. (Someone else did.)

c.    I NEVER said she stole my money. (I would never rat her out like that.)

d.   I never SAID she stole my money. (I merely IMPLIED that she stole my money.)

e.   I never said SHE stole my money. (I just said SOMEONE stole my money and never pointed any fingers.)

f.      I never said she STOLE my money. (She's just taking a long time about paying back that loan.)

g.    I never said she stole MY money. (She stole money, sure, but I've got no horse in this race.)

h.   I never said she stole my MONEY (But I'm pretty sure I had my car keys on my person, and now she’s sitting in my car and driving with a grin on her face. But I still have my money so I am still wealthy but carless. so that's okay?)

15.   Words are funny, Words are queer

      Words are not as they appear

              written by Jennifer Spears