What makes people happy in retirement?

That's the question many of us have been thinking and writing about for years with all of us having different answers and reasons for those answers. What makes people happy is a better question to ask.

The science of happiness tells us that people who are happy share the following:

·      Strong Relationships. A major study followed hundreds of men for more than 70 years and found the happiest (and healthiest) were those who had strong relationships with people they trusted to support them.

·      A number of studies have shown that happier people prefer to have more time in their lives than more money.

·      But we need enough money to pay the bills. People's well-being rises along with income levels.

·      People who are happy take the time to stop to smell the roses. People who slow down to reflect on good things in their lives report being happier.

·      People who are happy perform acts of kindness, which boost their mood. Give your friends a ride to the airport or spend an afternoon volunteering

·      People who are happy stay active. Studies show that increased levels of physical activity are connected to higher levels of happiness.

·      People tend to be happier if they spend their money on experiences instead of things. Researchers have also found that buying things that allow you to have experiences, like rock climbing shoes or a new book to read can also, increase happiness.

·      Several studies have found that people who practice mindfulness meditation experience greater well-being.

·      Interactions with casual friends can make people happier, and close friendships — especially with happy people — can have a powerful effect on your own happiness as well

These things are not going to change when we retire unless you assume that older people are different than younger people. We are not. What will help us stay happy in retirement are those things that helped us stay happy when we were young. These items can be summarized as money, health, time and relationships.

So, as you plan for your retirement and look at all the opportunities for investments, take the time to invest in your own health, your friendships and your intimate relationships.  

The other predictors of happiness in retirement your health and friendships and the depth of friendships and the number of friendships that you have with other people. It takes ongoing investment and time and resources to be able to maintain those friendships so you still have close friends when you retire.

  

The problem is, men, and I am speaking for myself, are bad at maintaining friendships over time. Keeping friends is hard work and requires cultivation, time and energy. A man's social circle is at work. By the time they retire, they're relying more on their spouse for friendship and in an opposite-sex couple, they're relying on their spouse to spend time with them, to go on vacation with them and have lunch with them, and sometimes that creates a bit of friction in retirement.

Women, by contrast, invest more. Women have more deep relationships than men do by the time they get to retirement, and their circle of friends is not tied to employment, and they want to keep those relationships alive and so they may resent the time spent with their spouse who is trying to build new relationships. Interestingly, the research tells us that the happiest group of retirees are women who are newly divorced between the ages of 60 and 65.