Use with an abundance of caution.
1.
If you are
choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
PRESTO! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2.
Avoid cutting
yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables
while you chop.
3.
Avoid arguments
about the toilet seat...Use the sink.
4.
For high blood
pressure sufferers--Simply cut yourself and bleed a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure on your veins. REMEMBER T0 USE A TIMER.
5.
A mouse trap placed
on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6.
If you have a bad
cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough at all.
7.
You only need 2
tools in life........WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use
WD-40....if it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
8.
Remember-
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9.
If you can't fix
it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
10. Got a wart, use duct tape it is more effective in
removing warts than getting treatment.
11. Constipated try drinking dried Alvera leaves or just
keeping yourself hydrated.
12. Got obstructive sleep apnea, try playing the didgeridoo,
it is a proven remedy for this problem.
AND
A DAILY THOUGHT. some PEOPLE ARE LIKE Slinkys...NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING,
BUT THEY bring A SMILE TO YOUR FACE whenever PUSHED down the stairs.
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