Basic Definition of “Social Isolation and Loneliness”

‘Social isolation and loneliness’ are complex.  Loneliness is often experienced as more of an anxious or sad feeling.  However, you don’t necessarily have to be alone in order to experience it. Sometimes you can feel lonely even when surrounded by other people.

And, being ‘alone’ could be good or bad; it doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely.  We all want to be alone at least once in a while; for example, when you feel tired and would like to take a nap.  Another example is that some people may prefer living alone versus living with others and are perfectly content with that choice.

Personal Motivation and Initiative. 

One factor sometimes affecting isolation and loneliness in older adults is simply a person’s motivations and initiative.  Some people are fun, good people, but are not very good at ‘breaking the ice’.

A number of individuals don’t seem to have that initiative or ability to initiate an interaction.  They are often fine and fun to be with when someone else takes the initiative to start an interaction.  But if someone else does not initiate the connection or interaction, the interaction never takes place.  Once they get over that initial first step, they are often fine.

Insights/Advice:

Each individual needs to take the initiative, but some don’t know how or are really incapable of doing that.  Oftentimes, this lack of motivation or initiative is a personality-related issue that can be hard to change.  It is part of why they are isolated. 

It can be a hard job to get some people motivated to participate.  Some are scared; possibly afraid of rejection. 

Some don't want to ‘compete’ socially; they feel inadequate or uncomfortable. 

Opportunities are out there for older adults; find your interests.  Take the initiative to get an association or connection, and be persistent; stick to it for a while.  Be open to opportunities; break out of your comfort zone.  Be more proactive in calling people/friends.

One caveat: Sociability, or the lack of, can be situational.  There are times, for example, when you just don't want to join other people for dinner.  A couple may want to eat alone or just dine with each other.  There are times, too, when you may be tired and just don’t want to interact with people.  ‘Situational sociability’ is quite different from social isolation and loneliness.

Technology and the Internet. 

There is a lot of potential for technology to help us battle isolation and loneliness among older adults.  Some examples include:

Robotics.  One example that was cited: Robots exist that can read the same books as you, and can actually discuss the book with you.  An interesting new option that is still primitive at this point, but is getting better fast.

Smart-Phone and Computer Apps.  Currently, there are apps that can alert you, for example, that someone is nearby that is interested in meeting to get coffee.  Or, other affinity-related apps for alerting you that I’m available and nearby for a walk, etc.

Alexa/Artificial Intelligence (AI).  Taking the above affinity apps one step further, Alexa or similar AI capabilities allow a person to ask it to find others that want (e.g.) coffee, or other affinities.  ‘Alexa’, by requiring just talking or speaking, can make these activities or benefits even easier to do.

Woven into these discussions, though, is the caveat that older adults wanted and needed better and simpler setups for using this technology.  Simplicity, good instruction, and ease of use were critical to them, otherwise, these barriers can deter many older adults from using these technologies.