Friday, March 6, 2020

Now for something completely different

The following are from Church signs found on the Net, Enjoy
Do Not criticize your wife's judgement--see whom she married
Now is a good time to visit our Pastor is on Vacation
Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer GOD
Jesus is coming hopefully before the election
We are still open between Christmas and Easter
Lent is coming get your Ash in Church
The fact there is a highway to hell and a staircase to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers
God did not create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close
Don’t give up, Moses was a basket case
Adam and Eve, the first people to not read the Apple Terms and Conditions
What happens in Vegas, is forgiven here
Jesus is coming, look busy.
God shows no favourites, but our sign guy does, “Go Cubs”
Noah was a brave man to sail in a wooden boat with two termites
Don’t let worries kill you, let the church help.
Too hot to keep changing this sign, Sin Bad, Jesus good, details inside
What is missing from CH-CH?
A Perv, a Con artist and a fascist walk into a bar. The bartender says what will it be Mr. President?
Honk if you love Jesus, Text while driving if you want to meet him
Staying in bed, Sunday morning and yelling “Oh God” does not constitute going to church.
I was hooked on the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around
Not believing in Hell does not put the fire out
Moses was the first person with a tablet to download data from the Cloud.
Lord help us to be the kind of people our dogs think we are
How do we make holy water? We boil the hell out of it.
Sermon: What is Hell? Come hear our pianist
If cats could text you, they would not.

No comments:

Post a Comment