Ways to connect as we open up

Here are nine ways to connect with seniors whether they’re happy and bored or feeling lonely and anxious.

Pick up the phone

Phone calls, from sons, daughters, siblings’, grandchildren, or friends, are having a wonderful effect on seniors. Getting an impromptu call or scheduling one in advance helps loved ones get the social connection that happened naturally before the pandemic from family visits.

Make a video call

Thanks to technology, some families were already connecting using video call apps like Skype, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Google Hangouts or Zoom.

Connect seniors with their peers

Help connect your parents with their peers or community groups outside the family. Is there a fellow resident or friend whose company your mom enjoys? A church or other community group your dad is especially missing? Many community groups have gone online.

Host a family dinner or game night online

Many families have arranged to have dinner together online to enjoy the social time they’re craving. If the senior in your life likes playing games organize a video call to play together. Try games such as charades, 20 questions, karaoke or trivia.

Connect Mom to a friendly voice

Seniors can get additional support and enjoying friendly chats with volunteers thanks to the many volunteer programs available to seniors. In BC if you are a senior who wants someone to talk, you can call 211, or if you want to volunteer to talk to a senior call 211.  All across Canada  seniors at high risk of feeling isolated are also getting daily calls from qualified volunteers, who reach out to proactively help those in need.

Set goals together

If you have a loved one who’s well, consider setting mini-goals together, such as doing something physically active each day to boost the release of endorphins. Seniors who are self-isolating at home, can stretch, perform stand-up-sit-downs or lift makeshift weights (such as soup cans or books). Or set a goal where you both agree to reach out to friends you haven’t spoken to in a while, then check-in and share how those calls went. If your parent is accustomed to using a computer, you could both look at online tours together. Whenever you can give someone an incentive to think positively and focus on actions they can take to stay well, it can be helpful. It helps create a sense of control and purpose when so much is beyond our control right now.

Change your opening

If asking your loved one how they’re doing is sending you both into a downward spiral on every call, consider changing the opening question. For example, you could say something like this: This is a challenging time for everyone, but reflecting on what we are grateful for, and what we are appreciating about our day, can spark a more positive conversation. You could ask, “What are five things that went well in your day today?” The answer doesn’t matter as much as the positive feelings and thoughts that come from intentionally looking at what’s going well, in spite of tough circumstances.

Validate feelings

If your loved one is feeling very concerned, afraid or worried, let them express those feelings. If you shut them down, some of us may become withdrawn thinking no one wants to listen. Remind yourself and your loved one that this is a challenging time for society and humankind. It’s OK to feel however they’re feeling. If they’re upset during a call, give them space without trying to problem-solve.  Validate their feelings, and then share some of yours to connect over common ground.

Arrange an outdoor visit

My wife and I are going to visit her aunt this week and we are going to do a chat with her from the balcony (weather permitting. Families who have gathered at a safe distance in parking lots to serenade their loved ones on their birthdays get a big lift from these expressions of love.