Here are nine ways to connect with seniors whether they’re
happy and bored or feeling lonely and anxious.
Pick up the phone
Phone calls, from sons, daughters, siblings’, grandchildren,
or friends, are having a wonderful effect on seniors. Getting an impromptu call
or scheduling one in advance helps loved ones get the social connection that
happened naturally before the pandemic from family visits.
Make a video call
Thanks to technology, some families were already connecting
using video call apps like Skype, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Google Hangouts or Zoom.
Connect seniors with their peers
Help connect your parents with their peers or community
groups outside the family. Is there a fellow resident or friend whose company
your mom enjoys? A church or other community group your dad is especially
missing? Many community groups have gone online.
Host a family dinner or game night online
Many families have arranged to have dinner together online
to enjoy the social time they’re craving. If the senior in your life likes
playing games organize a video call to play together. Try games such as
charades, 20 questions, karaoke or trivia.
Connect Mom to a friendly voice
Seniors can get additional support and enjoying friendly
chats with volunteers thanks to the many volunteer programs available to
seniors. In BC if you are a senior who wants someone to talk, you can call 211,
or if you want to volunteer to talk to a senior call 211. All across Canada seniors at high risk of feeling isolated are
also getting daily calls from qualified volunteers, who reach out to
proactively help those in need.
Set goals together
If you have a loved one who’s well, consider setting mini-goals together, such as doing something physically active each day to boost the
release of endorphins. Seniors who are self-isolating at home, can stretch,
perform stand-up-sit-downs or lift makeshift weights (such as soup cans or
books). Or set a goal where you both agree to reach out to friends you haven’t
spoken to in a while, then check-in and share how those calls went. If your
parent is accustomed to using a computer, you could both look at online tours
together. Whenever you can give someone an incentive to think positively and
focus on actions they can take to stay well, it can be helpful. It helps create
a sense of control and purpose when so much is beyond our control right now.
Change your opening
If asking your loved one how they’re doing is sending you
both into a downward spiral on every call, consider changing the opening
question. For example, you could say something like this: This is a challenging
time for everyone, but reflecting on what we are grateful for, and what we are
appreciating about our day, can spark a more positive conversation. You could
ask, “What are five things that went well in your day today?” The answer
doesn’t matter as much as the positive feelings and thoughts that come from
intentionally looking at what’s going well, in spite of tough circumstances.
Validate feelings
If your loved one is feeling very concerned, afraid or
worried, let them express those feelings. If you shut them down, some of us may
become withdrawn thinking no one wants to listen. Remind yourself and your
loved one that this is a challenging time for society and humankind. It’s OK to
feel however they’re feeling. If they’re upset during a call, give them space
without trying to problem-solve. Validate
their feelings, and then share some of yours to connect over common ground.
Arrange an outdoor visit
My wife and I are going to visit her aunt this week and we
are going to do a chat with her from the balcony (weather permitting. Families who have gathered at a safe distance in parking lots to serenade their loved ones
on their birthdays get a big lift from these expressions of love.
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