Sometimes, after playing golf, I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Babe Ruth
"I feel sorry for
people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as
they're going to feel all day." Winston Churchill
"When I read about the
evils of drinking after golfing I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
"24 hours in a day, 24
beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." H. L. Mencken
"When we drink, we get
drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we
commit no sin. When we commit no sin,
we go to heaven. So, let's
all get drunk and go to heaven!" George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God
loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the
greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza." Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people
have sex since 3000 B.C.! W. C. Fields
Remember "I"
before "E," except in Budweiser. Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to
me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff
Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson:
"Well, ya see, Norm,
it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back
that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members!
In much the same way, the
human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive
intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the
slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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