My grandson in Australia has been out of school for a while as the lockdown in his State continues. My grandchildren in BC are going back to school when the numbers of COVID are increasing and anxiety is building in their parents and in us. How do we face and deal with the anxiety is a problem all parents have currently? Here is some advice that may help taken from the magazine “Fatherly”
Identify Your Feelings and Say Them Out
Loud
“This ongoing uncertainty is unsettling,
which leads to a lot of parental anxiety. The problem with unchecked parental
anxiety is that our kids pick up on it and take it with them. Kids often don’t
know how to maneuver their own abstract feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.
They don’t have the words or concepts for how to figure out what and how they
feel. So, they take it with them. This unchecked anxiety in kids often looks quite
different compared to adults. It can show up as a ‘bad attitude,’ irritability,
tantrums or meltdowns, withdrawal or isolation, or depression.
COVID adds a whole other level of
uncertainty. It’s hard to make plans, to reassure ourselves and our kids, and
to move forward because there seems to be no end in sight. The good news is
that it will end. Things will get better eventually. We need to believe this,
live it out, and model that for our children. They look to us for comfort and
safety.
The best way to handle uncertainty in
general is to identify the feelings and say them out loud. That initial
awareness will go a long way. Once you identify how you feel, it’s important to
show compassion for yourself and to be gentle with yourself and others. Have an
ongoing conversation about their feelings. Connection helps with feelings of
uncertainty and other uncomfortable emotions. Kids may act like they don’t need
you, but they do.— Ann-Louise Lockhart, clinical psychologist and parenting
coach, San Antonio
2. Focus on What’s Within Your Control
“Parenting
is incredibly hard and emotional under normal circumstances, but we’re now
asking parents to do impossible tasks, such as working full-time while
homeschooling full-time or having to choose whether or not to send their kids
to a school that cannot guarantee safety. These unprecedented challenges are consuming
parents. We cannot minimize how difficult this situation is or how valid the
anxiety is.
Get
support from those around you. Talk to other parents going through the same
things. Being able to share and normalize a difficult experience with others provides
comfort and peace and a safe space to externalize the anxiety and fear.
And
focus on what’s within your control. So much of life feels out of control at
the moment. Think about even little things that you can control such as how
much water you drink a day, eating regularly, getting enough sleep.” — Jessica
Small, family therapist, Denver
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