Questions for Retired People

Question: How many days are there in a week? 

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? 

Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 

Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? 

Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? 

Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 

Answer: Idiot

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?

Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? 

Answer: Lunch.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? 

Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 

Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?

 Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week? 

Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

​And now some quotes:

"There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!" Groucho Marx"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So, I do it three or four times a day." 

"I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Danny