Leave your empathy behind

 l was talking to a friend who was thinking of slowing down and gradually moving toward retirement. One of the questions asked was “What do you tell people who are thinking about retirement?” My friend is a person with specialized skills and a very focused expertise. There are many people like her who are now leaving or considering leaving the workforce like her. Once they leave their expertise will be lost, which is a shame. Some of those people will return once they are retired as part-time workers or consultants.

I gave my answer. Once you retire you have to find another way to self-identify. Many of us, identify who we are with what we do, and so have trouble with the idea of retirement. Many others believe that the organization or the people cannot cope without them, and the organization or people will not be the same once they leave. This idea causes many people to delay their retirement because they believe/feel they are indispensable. This is not, of course, true. Some 

My friend said, she had no problem with the idea of retirement and said she knew she was replaceable, and that she knew she would be living on a lower income once she fully retired.

We left the conversation with her thinking about how she would create a plan to withdraw gradually over the next six months. I left thinking I was missing an important idea. After thinking about this for a few hours I decided that I had missed out an important concept. I had forgotten about caring. My friend like many people cares about the people she works with, and the work she does. She believes that she is best suited to do the work. She said it is possible for her to train others but very few are interested in learning her skills.  She did say that she understood that she is replaceable, but I think she does not believe that statement.

Like many professionals she cares about her work, her legacy and her organization and worries about what will happen when she leaves. Those workers who care have the hardest time leaving.

If I don’t care about the people I work with, or the organization I work for, it is easy to leave. So, if you are thinking about retiring, discover a new way of self identifying, find new ways to fill your time and leave your empathy at the door when you leave.