Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Values take a long time to fade

Some of us may still feel shame or discomfort because we are not doing what we have done habitually for so long. Going to work, being engaged, and being productive embody traditional values that may take time to fade, especially if these activities have high intrinsic value in terms of personal meaning.


Such values can create ambivalence for those who are making the transition to retirement. The avoidance of shame caused by wrongly perceived dependency on a partner may also motivate some retirees to seek part-time employment.


The percentage of seniors in care is low, but because ageism is so prevalent in our society as we age, we have an increased fear of too much dependency on caretakers be they, relationship partners or professionals. Inability to take care of oneself with increasing age can bring feelings of shame and guilt. Physical dependency restricts life choices and can overburden caretakers. The deterioration of vision, hearing, and memory can also threaten personal autonomy. The possibility of incurring the wrath of caretakers for the inability to control bodily functions can also be a source of potential shame, even though the odds are against this happening we have an overwhelming fear of being too dependent.


After the initial excitement of being retired, we may settle down to making necessary adjustments. Some of us find that a busy schedule of recreational activities does not provide long-term meaning. But the question arises: What do I do in retirement apart from recreation, hobbies, and travel?

 

Perceived exile from the former workplace can produce feelings of powerlessness and isolation. Now that retirees no longer have the backing of a job to enhance their credibility in their area of expertise, they may find themselves in no mood to “chase ambulances” again in order to find full- or part-time work. Underlying the attempt to find new activities and projects to replace those lost to retirement is a feeling of having gone through the work-life cycle once and a resistance to having to work hard, be it paid or unpaid, to develop new projects.


These feelings make it more difficult for some of us to look for projects and activities that are not a rerun of what we have already accomplished. The loss of the stimulation and meaning provided by their former employment, however, may draw some retirees back to their former work role, either in a part- or full-time capacity.


The basic question of What do I do with my retirement? is difficult to answer. Some of us find that taking it easy only prevails for a while until dissatisfaction mounts and the search for some meaningful activity occurs. The search is made more difficult by the large number of possibilities from which choices can be made. Because this choice dilemma occurs in the afternoon of life, it may not be faced with the enthusiasm of a younger person who is just beginning a career.


Time frames initiatives differently in later life. Having expended so much energy in earlier life, we may be less willing or unable to summon the energy and enthusiasm for a twilight repeat of earlier life initiatives. As we look to reinvent ourselves we may gaze upon the accoutrements of our prior employment, such as tools, books, and credentials and may struggle to come to terms with the probability that these will no longer be needed. These props of a past life can evoke nostalgia and grief for the end of a career even though they may be retained in the faint hope that they might once again become useful.


Nonetheless, there are those who do not encounter this weakening of initiative. Some do not retire. Others shift to part-time work and thereby avoid some of the difficulties experienced by those who leave their former careers completely behind.

Because of the high value placed on work and effort in North American society, those retirees who have problems developing new initiatives may experience guilt about whether they are doing enough. But it can be difficult to follow through on initiatives because many in our society expect seniors to confine/herself to lives centred on recreation, relaxation, and travel.

The coincidence of ageing and retirement can reduce the kind of motivation to achieve what may have characterized retirees’ younger years. It is important, nevertheless, for retirees to search for meaningful projects and recreational activities, be they old or new. Meaningful initiatives in later life are different from those of the earlier stages. If retirees’ finances are adequate, meaning and life satisfaction–rather than economic necessity and ambition–are more likely to be the criteria that influence their choice of activities, projects, or employment.

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