A few jokes to ease the mind

 A Catholic man goes to confession. "Forgive me father for I have sinned." 

He begins. "Go on my son." says the priest. 

"I swore the other day, in the most profane way." says the man. 

"Continue." says the priest. 

"I was on the golf course and I hit my drive, it was looking perfect, heading dead straight. About 200 yards down my ball hit a power line crossing the fairway." 

"And this is when you swore?" asked the priest. 

"No father, my ball then ricocheted of the power lines and flew off into the deep rough." said the man. 

"Ah, so this must have been when you swore." Said the priest. 

"No father, not yet. As I was walking over to the rough to hit my second shot a hawk flew down from the trees, picked my ball up in his beak and proceeded to fly off with it." continued the man. 

"Ahhh I see." says the priest "This MUST have been the point where you swore." 

"You'd thinks so but no, because as the bird flew over the green the ball fell from its mouth and landed just two feet from the hole." 

They both remain quiet for a few seconds, then the priest says: "You missed the f**in' putt, didn't you?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will..." - Here

are some other Laws you may not have heard!  

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with

grease, your nose will begin to itch.  

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the

least accessible corner.  

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it 

needed replacing anyway  

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.  

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot

be solved by brute strength and ignorance.  

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short

supply.  

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because

you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.  

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.