Saying Goodbye

 A few days ago I lost an Aunt. She was the youngest of my Dad's sisters and only about 12 years older than me. She was a wonderful woman who played a big part in the early days of my life. As an adult, I did not see her as much as I should have and I regret that. In the past few years, I have only seen her at family gatherings to celebrate another lost life. Her death was not unexpected but in a way it was; she had been in and out of the hospital and we were not sure about how long she would last but she was a strong lady so we thought she would overcome. She did not.

She will be missed, as she was loved deeply, When we are grieving, it can be hard to put into words the wide array of emotions that we feel: regret, outrage, sadness, guilt, and helplessness among them. In times like this, it’s often helpful to turn to the wise words of others who have also experienced grief — both as a means of support and a reminder that things will get easier over time. As the renowned painter, Henri Matisse once said, “​​The pain passes, but the beauty remains.” Here, are some quotes that spoke to me as I deal with the grief.

Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope. — Elizabeth Gilbert

To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness. — Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst  

Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.   — Haruki Murakami  

Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life.
— Anne Roiphe, writer

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
— Khalil Gibran 

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break. — William Shakespeare

Grief starts to become indulgent, and it doesn’t serve anyone, and it’s painful. But if you transform it into remembrance, then you’re magnifying the person you lost and also giving something of that person to other people, so they can experience something of that person. — Patti Smith

If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.
— Thich Nhat Hanh