Act your age part 2

I have blogged about this before but I think it is important. One of my friend's daughters was celebrating her birthday when he was travelling with us. He wanted us as a group to sing happy birthday to her which he would film and send to her on messenger. We agreed. On the day of her birthday, we were in a very small restaurant and I remembered our promise to sing to her. (She is in her late 20s) so I said let's do it. My friend said no because he did not want to be embarrassed in the restaurant. He said that we should not do it as we were not acting our age. There were six of us and our average age is 74. In addition, all of us look wise, as we had white hair and wrinkles that come with age and wisdom. 

We were talking and joking around and told our friend that his daughter would appreciate the message and that the people in the restaurant would probably applaud and cheer at the end of the birthday song if we did it right. So, we sang the song, the waiter recorded, the restaurant cheered, his daughter thought her dad a bit crazy but loved the message,  and we acted our age.

When I was younger from time to time adults would say to me, "Royce act your age." meaning that I should act older and stop behaving like someone who is much younger. I am sure you may have heard this or similar phrases as you were growing up. Here are some phrases that have been used:

• Boys, act your age, please!
• You need to grow up and act your age!
• You're too old for silly pranks like this. I really wish you would just act your age.
• Come on, act your age! That food is for eating not for playing with it!
• Just act your age and apologize to her!

Now that I am older, people use the phrase to try and get me to behave in a way suitable for someone as old as I am.

Stop being silly and act your age or other such phrases are insulting and meant to be demeaning. 

Asking someone to act their age is a form of bullying. It is also a way for the user of the phrase to get someone to conform to their idea of how a person should act at a certain time of their life. What does acting your age mean at 21 or 30 or 14 or 75? Society has set up expectations about behaviour, which are sometimes meant to be broken. 

A subtle form of ageism is seen on TV from time to time. It usually is in the form of a feel-good story such as:

• The oldest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest is Yuichiro who did so at age 80. Yuichiro, who is Japanese, had completed the feat previously at age 70 and again at age 75.
• In Britain, one centenarian is helping to improve and support her community. Ethel volunteers at a thrift store every Friday and Saturday afternoon. She started volunteering there at age 78 and hasn’t missed a shift in 21 years
• Nola became the oldest college graduate in 2007 at age 95. Nola completed her Bachelor of General Studies at Fort Hays State University in Kansas and fulfilled her lifelong dream of earning a degree. However, she didn’t stop there. In 2010, at 98 years old, she became the oldest person to receive a master’s degree. She hopes to encourage people to keep on learning and tells her grandchildren, “If grandmother can do it, you can.”

These wonderful stories of accomplishment are seen as a way to encourage others who are growing older to make the best of what life has to offer. They are also a subtle form of ageism. If Nola was 40 and a grandmother, it would not be as big a story. If Ethel was 48 and had not missed a shift in 21 years it would not be a story that would be published. Yuichiro is to be commended on reaching the summit of Mount Everest, but if he had first attempted it at 25 then at 30 and then completed it at 25 it would not be as big a story.

Don't let other people force you to act your age, because they have bought into society's norms, have fun, experience life and enjoy living in the moment. Laugh, play and have fun because however you act, you are acting your age.