The elderly

My thoughts for the boomers still going strong after all these years. 

You know, they call us “The Elderly” ' but I think we deserve a better title. How about 'The Time Travelers'? Born in the 40s, 50s, and 60s, we've lived through more decades than some people have lived through relationships. Yeah, I got my Canadian Association of Retired Persons, card in the mail, and suddenly people are looking at me like I might break a hip just from checking my email. It’s wild, right? So, apparently, we’re ancient! I’m just waiting for some kid to ask if I fought in the Civil War.

But let’s talk about it—we’ve been through eight decades, two centuries, and two millennia! You know, the good old days when 'social media' meant talking to your neighbour over the fence. And if you wanted to 'like' something, you actually had to say it out loud. We went from using rotary phones where you had to call the operator just to reach Grandma three states over, to Face Timing the grandkids while they send you dancing cat memes. I used to get excited when the phone rang because it was either a friend or someone selling encyclopedias. Now when the phone rings, I panic like it’s a bill collector or a scammer trying to steal my Social Security!

And remember vinyl records? Yeah, we had to physically walk over to a machine to hear music. And flip the thing over halfway through! Now my entire record collection fits in my pocket. I don’t even know what half the buttons on my phone do, but I can carry gigabytes of data! Back in the day, “byte” meant someone was stealing your sandwich!

And the fashion, don’t get me started. Shorts as kids, long trousers as adults, then there was those unfortunate flares phase. Oh, and shell suits—who else looked like a shiny burrito in the '80s? Now I’ve reached the point where if it’s got an elastic waistband, it’s my new favourite thing. Comfort first, style second! And you better believe I’m not giving up my jeans. I’ve been wearing denim since the '70s, and I’m going out wearing it, too.

And remember when we used to go to a video store? I’m talking about a place where you actually walked in, browsed the shelves, rented a VHS tape, and prayed the person before you rewound it. I used to be thrilled picking up the latest release for movie night. Now, with Netflix, I spend three hours scrolling and then just end up watching a rerun of something from the ‘90s. It’s like the modern version of staring into the fridge—endless options, but you’re still not sure what you want.

Remember those slide projectors and filmstrips? It was like watching a PowerPoint presentation but without the PowerPoint. And if you were lucky, you might even get to use a computer with punch cards. Yes, punch cards – the original “Ctrl+Alt+Delete'."

We were dating in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. The era of mixtapes and handwritten love letters. If you wanted to break up with someone, you had to do it in person or over the phone. No ghosting or blocking – just good old-fashioned heartbreak.

We stabilized in the 2000s and got wiser in the 2010s and by now we are practically gurus. We figured out how to use smartphones without accidentally calling the emergency services. However, I still remember my mom trying to Facetime me and ending up taking a selfie of her ear.

We've lived through eight different decades, two different centuries, and two different millennia. That's like being a character in a time-travel movie but without the DeLorean. 

Here’s the thing: We’ve adapted. We went from handwriting letters, licking stamps, and walking them to the mailbox to sending emojis and GIFs with a tap of the finger. We've gone from telephones with operators for long-distance calls to video calls anywhere in the world. From slides to YouTube, from vinyl records to online music, from handwritten letters to email and WhatsApp. And let's not forget the evolution of TV – from black and white to color, to 3D HD. It's like our eyes have been on a technological rollercoaster. We’re the generation that’s seen it all. And let’s be real; half of us still don’t know the difference between 4K and “what’s on cable,” but hey, we’re surviving!

"We've seen it all – from infantile paralysis, polio, meningitis, tuberculosis, swine flu to COVID-19. We dodged it all. And now, we're navigating the world of masks and vaccines. , I’m starting to feel like I’ve been playing dodgeball with diseases for the last 70 years. But you know what? We're still here, and that's something to celebrate. But what a great life we've had They could describe us as 'exennials' – people who had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood. We've kind of 'Seen-It-All! 

To all the members of this very special generation, here's to us – the Time Travelers, the Adaptation Champions, the Survivors of Shell Suits. Let's give ourselves a big round of applause for making it through all these decades and still managing to laugh about it."

Consider the following

"Life" is a gift to you. How you live your life is your gift to those who come after you. Make it a fantastic one.

Live it well! Enjoy today! Do something fun! Be happy! Have a great day!

Remember:

· Health is real wealth, not pieces of gold and silver.

· Live happy this year and every year!

Lastly, consider the following:

·  Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be so enjoy this day while it lasts.

·  Your kids are becoming you...

·  Going out is good. Coming home is better!

·   You forget names... But it's ok because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

·   You realize you're never going to be really good at anything

·   The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

·   You sleep better on a lounge chair with the tv blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

·    You miss the days when everything worked with just an "on" and "off" switch.

·   You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..." when?"... "what?" . ???

·   Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

·   You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

·   What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

·   Everybody whispers.

·   You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

·   But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, and best of all, old friends!!

·   Stay well, "old friend!" send this on to other "old friends!" and let them laugh in agreement!!!

                           ·  It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind                                 of life you have lived 

Joy comes in small things

 Indeed, perfect happiness often lies in the small, everyday moments, rather than grand events. Remember, happiness is not a destination, but a journey. It's the accumulation of small, joyful moments that add up to a life well-lived. Just as a beautiful sunset is made up of individual rays of light, a grandchild's giggle is a collection of tiny, adorable sounds, and the first snowfall is a gentle accumulation of flakes, so too is happiness built from the small, everyday experiences we have.

It's easy to get caught up in the idea that happiness requires grand, dramatic events, but the truth is, it's the little things that bring us the most joy. It's the way the morning light filters through the blinds, the taste of a favourite coffee, the sound of birds singing outside your window, or the feeling of a warm hug from a loved one.

So, instead of waiting for the big, grand moments to bring us happiness, let's focus on cultivating joy in the everyday. Let's take time to appreciate the small things, to savour the sweetness of life, and to find joy in the simple moments.

And remember, joy doesn't have to be a big, overwhelming feeling. It can be a gentle, warm sensation that settles in your heart, a sense of contentment that comes from being present in the moment. It's okay to take things one sip at a time, to enjoy the small pleasures, and to find happiness in the everyday.

So, the next time you're feeling sad or down, take a deep breath and look for the little things that bring you joy. It might be a beautiful sunset, a grandchild's giggle, or the first snowfall. Whatever it is, let it fill your heart with happiness, and remind you that joy is always within reach, no matter what life brings."

The Power of a Smile: Boosting Your Brain

Smiling is not just a simple expression of joy; it can have profound effects on our well-being. Engaging in activities that induce smiling and laughter can stimulate positive emotions, which in turn may help improve cognitive function and memory. 

Research suggests that the act of smiling triggers the release of neuropeptides that work to fight off stress, while also activating neurotransmitters like dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, which are known to enhance mood. T

hese biochemical reactions can lead to improved mental clarity and a sharper memory, making smiling a simple yet effective way to support brain health.

 So, whether it’s sharing a laugh with friends, watching a favourite comedy, or enjoying a moment of happiness with loved ones, incorporating more smiles into your daily routine can contribute to a healthier, more vibrant mind. 

Smiling is more than just a facial expression; it's a powerful tool for enhancing your overall well-being. Studies have shown that smiling can improve various aspects of mental sharpness. For instance, it may enhance your ability to:

• Focus and concentrate because smiling can help clear your mind and improve your attention span, making it easier to focus on tasks.
• Learn and retain information, positive emotions, triggered by smiling, can strengthen memory formation and retrieval.
• Solve problems with a positive mindset, cultivated by smiling, can boost your problem-solving skills and creativity.
• Maintain a positive outlook due to regular smiling can help counteract feelings of stress and anxiety, promoting a more optimistic perspective.

While more research is needed to fully understand the complex relationship between smiling and cognitive function, the initial findings are promising. Incorporating more smiles into your daily life could be a simple yet effective way to support your brain health.

Smiling in a group can help the mood

I am a leader in a number of groups and I think it is important for the members of the group to be on the same page. Synchronizing a group's mood is the process where members of a group tend to converge emotionally, often unconsciously. Smiling plays a significant role in this process.

In a social setting, one person's genuine smile can act as a catalyst. This smile might be in response to a joke, a pleasant thought, or simply feeling comfortable in the environment. Due to our natural tendency to mimic facial expressions, others in the group may unconsciously begin to smile in response. This happens even if they didn't hear the joke or know the reason for the initial smile. As more people in the group start smiling, their brains begin to produce neurotransmitters associated with positive emotions. This can lead to an actual shift in mood for many group members.

 As the positive mood spreads, it can change the overall atmosphere of the gathering. People may become more relaxed, open, and receptive to social interaction. This improved atmosphere can lead to more genuine smiles and positive interactions, further reinforcing the shared positive mood. As the group's mood becomes more synchronized towards positivity, it can enhance feelings of connection and belonging among group members.

A synchronized positive mood can influence the group's collective behaviour. For example, the group might become more cooperative, creative, or willing to engage in shared activities.  This synchronized mood can persist even after the initial smiles have faded, potentially influencing the entire course of a social interaction or event.

It's important to note that this process isn't always positive. Negative emotions can also be contagious in a group setting. However, smiling is a particularly powerful tool for positive mood synchronization due to its universally recognized nature and its strong association with positive emotions.

Understanding this concept can be valuable in various contexts, from family gatherings to professional meetings. It highlights how a simple act like smiling can have a ripple effect, potentially improving the experience for everyone in a social situation.

Smiling can lead to longevitty who knew?

One notable study was conducted by Wayne State University in 2010. Researchers looked at baseball card photos of Major League players from 1952. They found that players who had genuine smiles in their photos lived an average of 7 years longer than those who didn't smile. This study suggests that having a positive outlook, as reflected in a genuine smile, might be linked to a longer life.

Another interesting study was published in the journal Psychological Science in 2010. This research followed more than 50,000 adults in Japan over several years. The study found that those who reported feeling happier and smiled more often were less likely to die from various causes during the study period. This indicates that maintaining a positive attitude and smiling frequently might contribute to overall health and longevity.

A long-term study conducted at Harvard University, known as the Harvard Study of Adult Development, has been ongoing since 1938. While not specifically about smiling, this research has consistently shown that people who maintain positive relationships and have a more optimistic outlook tend to live longer, healthier lives. Smiling and expressing positivity can play a significant role in fostering these beneficial relationships and attitudes.

It's important to note that these studies show a correlation between smiling, positive attitudes, and longevity, but they don't necessarily prove that smiling directly causes people to live longer. Many factors contribute to a long and healthy life, including genetics, lifestyle choices, and access to healthcare.

However, these studies do suggest that cultivating a positive outlook, which often includes smiling more, can be part of a healthy lifestyle. Smiling can help reduce stress, improve mood, and strengthen social connections – all of which are known to contribute to better overall health and potentially a longer life.

For seniors looking to incorporate more smiling into their daily lives, it can be as simple as spending time with loved ones, engaging in enjoyable activities, or practicing gratitude for the positive aspects of life. Remember, even if you don't feel like smiling at first, the act of smiling itself can help boost your mood and potentially contribute to your overall well-being.

Seniors need to smile more

Smiling and laughter can have significant health benefits, particularly for individuals over 65 for several reasons. Smiling releases endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine, natural stress relievers. which lowers stress levels helping to reduce blood pressure and to improve heart health, which is especially important for older adults.

Smiling can help with pain management as the endorphins released when smiling act as natural painkillers.  This can be particularly beneficial for older adults dealing with chronic pain conditions like arthritis.

Our immune system boost is given a boost when we smile as positive emotions associated with smiling strengthen the immune system. - A stronger immune system helps fight off infections and recover more quickly from illnesses.

Improved cardiovascular health as smiling and laughter can improve blood flow and reduce the risk of heart disease. This is crucial for older adults who may be at higher risk for cardiovascular issues.

Regular smiling can help combat depression and anxiety, which are common concerns in older populations. Smiling can also improve overall life satisfaction and quality of life.

Smiling makes us appear more approachable, potentially leading to more social interactions. Strong social connections are linked to better mental and physical health in seniors.

The positive emotions from smiling may help improve cognitive function and memory. This could potentially slow cognitive decline associated with aging.

The relaxation effects of smiling and laughter can contribute to improved sleep quality. - Good sleep is essential for overall health and cognitive function in older adults.

Some studies suggest that individuals with a more positive outlook (which can be cultivated through smiling) may live longer.

Smiling and laughter can increase pain tolerance, which can be particularly beneficial for older adults dealing with chronic conditions.

Laughter and the relaxation associated with smiling can aid in digestion, which is often a concern for older adults.

Deep laughter can help clear the lungs and improve oxygen intake, which can be beneficial for overall respiratory health.

Incorporating more opportunities for smiling and laughter into daily life can be achieved through various means:

• Engaging in social activities with friends and family
• Watching comedies or humorous shows
• Participating in laughter yoga or similar group activities
• Practicing gratitude and focusing on positive aspects of life
• Engaging in enjoyable hobbies or activities that bring joy

It's important to note that while smiling and laughter can provide numerous health benefits, they should be seen as complementary to, not replacements for, proper medical care and a healthy lifestyle.

Smile and the world smiles with you

The power of a smile cannot be overstated. It’s a universal language that transcends cultural and linguistic barriers, conveying warmth, kindness, and understanding without a single word. A smile can transform a stranger into a friend, diffuse tension in a stressful situation, and uplift someone feeling down. Its impact is profound, reaching both the giver and the receiver, creating a ripple effect of positivity.

For the person smiling, it triggers the release of endorphins and serotonin, the body's natural feel-good chemicals, promoting feelings of well-being and reducing stress. It's a simple yet effective way to boost one's mood and improve overall mental health. Furthermore, smiling can enhance interpersonal relationships, making interactions more pleasant and fostering a sense of connection and empathy.

For the receiver, a smile can be a powerful gesture of acceptance and encouragement. It can brighten someone's day, provide comfort, and make them feel valued and seen. A smile can convey confidence and approachability, facilitating better communication and collaboration.

In essence, a smile is a small act with immense power. It’s a tool for building bridges, spreading joy, and enhancing both personal and collective well-being. Whether shared with a loved one, a colleague, or a stranger, the power of a smile is undeniable and boundless.

Silence is golden but my eyes still see.

 The idea that there is silence at the center of each person, an untrammelled space where the inner voice grows free to speak, is a powerful reminder of the creative potential that lies within us all. The notion that this space expands in solitude is a testament to the importance of quiet contemplation and introspection in the creative process.

For writers, poets, and artists who are struggling with creative blockages, this concept can be a powerful tool for unlocking their inner voice and finding inspiration. Here are a few ways that this idea can be applied:

When we're feeling stuck or uninspired, it's easy to get caught up in the noise and distractions of the world around us. But to tap into our inner voice, we need to create space for silence. This means taking time to quiet our minds, turn off our phones, and simply be present with ourselves.

Once we've created space for silence, we need to listen to what's being said. This means paying attention to our thoughts, emotions, and intuitions, and allowing ourselves to be guided by our inner wisdom. It's a process of tuning in to our own inner frequency, and allowing ourselves to be inspired by the silence.

As we listen to the silence, we begin to expand it. This means allowing ourselves to be open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. It means being willing to take risks, try new things, and explore new territories. And it means being patient and persistent, even when the creative process feels slow or difficult.

When we're in the silence, we begin to hear our own inner voice. This is the voice that has something to say to the world, and it's the voice that can guide us in our creative endeavors. It's the voice that can help us find our unique perspective, our unique style, and our unique message.

Finally, when we've found our inner voice, we need to share it with the world. This means taking our creative work and sharing it with others, whether it's through writing, art, music, or some other form of expression. It means being willing to be vulnerable, to take risks, and to put ourselves out there.

By applying these principles, writers, poets, and artists can tap into their inner voice and find inspiration in the silence. They can create work that is authentic, meaningful, and impactful, and they can share their unique perspective with the world.

Speak to the highest within

Whenever conferring with another either face to face or across the miles—whether a human being, departed spirit, or sentient tree, always speak to the highest within them. It makes such a difference.

Speaking to the highest within another being can have a deep impact on the interaction, regardless of whether it's a human being, a departed spirit, or even a sentient tree. Here's why:

When we speak to the highest within another, we're acknowledging and respecting their inherent goodness, wisdom, and potential. We're recognizing that every being has a spark of divinity within them, and that spark is worthy of our respect and attention.

By speaking to the highest within another, we:

Elevate the conversation: When we speak to the highest within another, we're not just communicating on a surface level. We're tapping into their deepest wisdom, values, and aspirations. This elevates the conversation and allows for a deeper connection.

Show respect and compassion: Speaking to the highest within another shows that we respect and care about their well-being. We're acknowledging that they're more than just their physical body or current circumstances.

Encourage growth and evolution: When we speak to the highest within another, we're encouraging them to grow and evolve. We're inspiring them to tap into their inner wisdom and potential, which can lead to personal growth and transformation.

Create a sense of unity: Speaking to the highest within another creates a sense of unity and connection. We're recognizing that we're all part of a larger whole, and that we're all connected through our shared humanity and divinity.

Attract positive energy: When we speak to the highest within another, we're attracting positive energy and vibrations. This can create a ripple effect, attracting more positivity and good vibes into our lives and the lives of those around us.

So, how can we apply this concept in our daily lives? Here are a few tips:

Speak with kindness and compassion: When communicating with others, speak with kindness, empathy, and compassion. Avoid criticism, judgment, or negativity, which can bring us down and create conflict.

Focus on the positive: When interacting with others, focus on the positive aspects of their being. Acknowledge their strengths, accomplishments, and good qualities.

Use affirmations: Use affirmations to speak to the highest within others. For example, you could say, "You are capable and strong," or "You are worthy of love and respect."

Practice mindfulness: Practice mindfulness and presence when interacting with others. This allows us to connect with them on a deeper level and speak to the highest within them.

Treat all beings with respect: Treat all beings, including animals, plants, and even the natural world, with respect and kindness. Recognize that every being has a spark of divinity within them, and speak to that spark.

By speaking to the highest within others, we can create a more harmonious, compassionate, and loving world. It's a powerful way to connect with others and elevate our own consciousness, and it's an idea that can bring us closer to our true nature and the divine.

Something to think about

I was sent the following quote the other week. "Those who achieve great things, defeat long odds, and become legends, don’t have anything you don't have. They just kept showing up, expecting a miracle, long after everyone else got practical."

I thought it was a powerful and inspiring thought! Here is why

1. Everyone has the same resources: The idea that those who achieve great things have something special or unique that others don't is a myth. In reality, everyone has the same basic resources: intelligence, talent, skills, and opportunities. The difference lies in how they use these resources.
2. Consistency is key: The phrase "kept showing up" emphasizes the importance of persistence and consistency. Legends don't achieve their goals overnight; they put in the effort, day in and day out, often for years. This consistency is what sets them apart from others.
3. Expecting a miracle: This phrase is often misunderstood. It's not about expecting a sudden, magical solution to appear out of thin air. Rather, it's about having faith that your hard work and dedication will eventually lead to success. It's about trusting the process and staying committed to your goals.
4. Long after everyone else got practical: This part of the quote highlights the importance of staying optimistic and idealistic, even when others have given up or become pragmatic. Legends don't settle for mediocrity; they keep pushing forward, even when the odds seem insurmountable.
5. The power of delayed gratification: Achieving great things often requires delayed gratification. Legends are willing to put in the work now, knowing that the rewards will come later. They're willing to make sacrifices and take risks, even when it's difficult or uncomfortable.
6. The importance of mental toughness: Legends have a mental toughness that allows them to overcome obstacles and setbacks. They're able to bounce back from failures and keep moving forward, even when others might give up.
7. The value of a growth mindset: Legends have a growth mindset, believing that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. They're not limited by their current circumstances or abilities; they see themselves as capable of growth and improvement.
8. The power of community and support: Legends often have a strong support system, whether it's a team, a mentor, or a community. They recognize the importance of surrounding themselves with people who believe in them and can help them achieve their goals.

To apply these lessons to your own life, try the following:

• Set clear, ambitious goals for yourself and create a plan to achieve them.
• Show up consistently and put in the effort required to achieve your goals.
• Stay optimistic and idealistic, even when faced with challenges and setbacks.
• Focus on the process, not just the outcome, and trust that your hard work will eventually lead to success.
• Surround yourself with people who support and believe in you.
• Embrace delayed gratification and be willing to make sacrifices for your goals.

Remember, achieving great things requires a combination of hard work, persistence, and mental toughness. By applying these lessons, you can increase your chances of success and become a legend in your own right.

life without continual acts of self-revision would be boring

Happy July 1st to all of us in Canada. We celebrate the birth of our country and how it has changed to be a more caring place. As a country, we have and continue to reinvent ourselves as we welcome new arrivals that add to our country's tapestry and find that exciting. As you enter retirement, consider the exciting possibility of reinventing yourself. What would life be without continual acts of self-revision? Embracing change can be the key to a fulfilling and dynamic retirement.

Our self-perceptions and aspirations, the narratives we craft about who we are and who we aspire to be, often anchor us to a fixed idea of ourselves. This “tyranny of completion” can be limiting. We tend to see ourselves as finished products but we are ever-evolving drafts, surprised by life's unexpected plot twists. We often cling to familiar thoughts and feelings, finding comfort in certainty, even when it narrows our understanding of our desires.

Retirement offers a unique opportunity to break free from these confines. While we may not always know what we want, being open to new experiences can lead to profound personal growth. This uncertainty can be daunting, but it also has the potential to enrich our lives in unimaginable ways.

If we can embrace the process of self-discovery and remain open to change, we can step into a more expansive and authentic life. Let retirement be a time of exploration and reinvention, where each new chapter brings growth, joy, and fulfillment.

Revamp Your Personal Identity in Retirement: A Guide for Seniors

I was recently asked to write an answer to a question about how an executive could rebrand themselves to stay current. I did not accept the offer, but it got me thinking. Retirement is an opportunity to redefine who we are and how we present ourselves. Establishing a new vision of yourself can be both exciting and empowering. Here are practical steps to help you create a fresh and fulfilling personal identity in your retirement years:

Conduct a Personal Audit

Review your current identities, activities, social media profiles, and online presence. Identify what's working and what's not, and list areas for improvement. Example: Sarah, a retired teacher, realizes her Facebook profile doesn’t reflect her current interests in gardening and volunteering. She updates her profile with new photos and posts about her hobbies and community involvement.

Define Your Unique Value Proposition

Outline your unique strengths, skills, and passions. What makes you stand out? What value do you offer to your community and family? Use this to craft a compelling personal statement. Example: John, a retired engineer, discovers that his passion for mentoring young professionals is unique. He starts volunteering at a local youth center, highlighting his expertise in problem-solving and project management.

Understand Your New Audience

Identify who you are trying to connect with in this new phase of life. What are their interests and needs? Knowing this helps tailor your activities and interactions. Example: Emily, a retired financial advisor, finds that many of her peers are interested in managing their retirement savings. She starts a blog offering financial tips for fellow retirees.

Re-evaluate Your Activities and Hobbies

Assess your current activities for relevance and enjoyment. Are you engaging in pursuits that resonate with your new identity? Consider exploring new hobbies or revamping old ones. Example: Michael, a retired writer, finds his long-form articles are not engaging his new audience of retirees. He starts writing shorter, more relatable stories and shares them in a local community newsletter.

Enhance Your Online Presence

Ensure your online profiles are updated and reflect your current interests and activities. Use keywords that highlight your new pursuits and passions. Example: David, a retired broadcaster, updates his LinkedIn profile to showcase his new role as a podcast host focusing on senior lifestyles. He also creates a personal blog to share his experiences and insights.

Engage with Your Community

Build relationships by participating in local events, responding to comments on social media, and sharing experiences. This fosters trust, credibility, and a sense of belonging. Example: Chris, a retired musician, engages with his community by performing at local events and sharing his performances on social media. He responds to comments and connects with fellow musicians and fans.

Seek Feedback and Iterate

Ask for feedback from friends, family, and community members. Use this feedback to refine your personal identity, adjusting as needed to better align with your new life phase. Example: Olivia, a retired coach, asks her peers for feedback on her new wellness workshops. She uses their suggestions to improve her sessions and better meet the needs of her attendees.

Stay Authentic and Consistent

Be true to yourself and your values. Authenticity is key to building trust and maintaining relationships. Ensure consistency in your actions and communications. Example: Chris, the retired musician, remains true to his artistic vision, ensuring his performances and online presence reflect his genuine passion for music.

Monitor and Measure Progress

Track your engagement and satisfaction with your new activities. Use this information to make data-driven decisions and refine your approach. Example: Alex, a retired social media manager, uses tools to monitor engagement with his posts about travel and photography. He adjusts his content based on what resonates most with his audience.

Stay Up-to-date and Adaptable

The world continues to change, and so should you. Stay informed about new trends and opportunities to keep your identity vibrant and relevant. Example: Samantha, a retired digital marketer, attends workshops on digital storytelling. She adapts her online presence and community involvement to include these new skills, keeping her brand fresh and engaging.

By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to revitalizing your personal identity in retirement. Focus on your unique value, engage with your community, and remain adaptable to the changes and opportunities that come your way.

Loss of a loved one

I recently lost my brother-in-law, and my wife lost the last member of her family. Losing a close family member is one of the most profound and painful experiences of our lives. As we navigate the complex emotions that follow, we can better process our grief and find solace in the memories we shared with our loved one which can offer us different perspectives on the past, present, and future.

Nostalgia is the sentimental longing for a past time or place. When we're grieving, nostalgia can be a bittersweet reminder of happy memories with our loved one. It's the warm feeling we get when we smell a familiar scent, hear a favorite song, or visit a special location that holds memories of our loved one. Nostalgia can be a comforting distraction from the pain of loss, allowing us to momentarily escape into fond memories. When grieving the loss of a loved one, nostalgia offers comfort by revisiting cherished memories. It allows us to recall happy times spent together, the laughter shared, and the love felt. Nostalgia can be a source of solace, reminding us of the joy our loved one brought into our lives and the enduring impact of their presence.

Melancholy is a complex emotion that encompasses sadness, reflection, and introspection often accompanied by a sense of longing. It's a deep-seated sorrow that arises from the awareness of loss and the absence of someone dear. When we're grieving, melancholy can reflect our sorrow and longing for our loved one. It acknowledges the pain of separation, the void left behind, and the profound sense of loneliness that can accompany loss. It's the quiet, introspective moments when we're lost in thought, remembering the good times and the pain of their absence. Melancholy can be a natural response to loss, allowing us to process our emotions and come to terms with our new reality.

Mourning is the outward expression of grief, encompassing rituals, traditions, and personal ways of honoring the departed. It is the emotional response to loss, characterized by feelings of sadness, grief, and adjustment to a new reality. Mourning is a transformative process that requires time, patience, and self-compassion. It's the acceptance of our new reality, acknowledging that our loved one is no longer with us, and finding ways to honor their memory. Mourning encompasses a range of emotions, from sorrow and disbelief to acceptance and remembrance. It provides a framework for collective and individual healing, allowing us to find meaning in our loss and navigate the path toward healing and resilience. Mourning can be a challenging and unpredictable journey, but it's essential for our emotional healing and growth.

Nostalgia often looks back at specific moments or periods in the past and can provide comfort and strength through positive memories. Melancholy is more focused on the present sense of loss and its impact allows for introspection and emotional processing. Mourning with its rituals and support systems, facilitates healing and growth over time integrates past memories with present emotions, guiding us towards acceptance and adaptation. 

While nostalgia can be a comforting distraction, melancholy can be a natural response to sorrow, and mourning is the process of acceptance, it's essential to acknowledge that grief is a unique and individual experience. Here are some tips to help find solace in the shadows of loss:

Allow yourself to feel: Permit yourself to experience a range of emotions, from sadness to nostalgia to melancholy. Acknowledge your feelings, and don't be afraid to express them.

Create a memory book: Gather photos, mementos, and stories about your loved one. Reflecting on happy memories can be a powerful way to process your grief.

Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time.

Take care of yourself: Engage in self-care activities that bring you comfort, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.

Find ways to honor their memory: Create a memorial, plant a tree, or participate in a charity or cause that was important to your loved one.

In coping with the loss of a close family member, it's important to recognize that losing a close family member can be a devastating experience, and we may need help to navigate the complex emotions that follow. Remember that grief is a unique and individual experience, and it's essential to be patient, compassionate, and kind to yourself as you journey through the shadows of loss.

Advice this time to my grandson

 As you embark on your journey into adulthood, I wanted to share some wisdom that I've gathered over the years. These are skills and traits that I believe every young man should possess to navigate through life with confidence and grace.

Firstly, it's important to be physically capable. Learn to swim proficiently, handle a car breakdown, and defend yourself without resorting to violence. Knowing how to handle emergencies, from administering first aid to cooking a meal, will not only serve you well but also enable you to care for others.

Beyond physical prowess, cultivate a range of interests and abilities. Whether it's mastering a musical instrument, learning a foreign language, or understanding the basics of business and finance, strive for well-roundedness. Remember, it's not just about acquiring knowledge but also about applying it in practical situations.

In today's world, social skills are equally important. Learn to communicate effectively, whether it's addressing a crowd or making a toast at a gathering. Being able to express yourself confidently and articulately will open doors professionally and personally.

However, amidst all these skills and accomplishments, remember the importance of humility and empathy. Strive to blend in while standing out in your actions and character. Above all, never lose sight of your individuality and the pursuit of what truly brings you joy and fulfillment.

As you navigate through life, cherish the lessons you learn along the way and never stop growing. I have every confidence that you will become a self-sufficient and well-rounded individual, ready to face whatever challenges come your way.

Boomers talk to your children about ageism.

 A lot of my friends are boomers, and they have children who are in their forties. I thought about this and decided to see how we can identify the scope of ageism for our children. Ageism is a complex and pervasive issue that affects many seniors, often intersecting with other forms of discrimination such as sexism, racism, and ableism to compound its negative effects. The consequences of ageism can be severe, including poor health outcomes, reduced longevity, abuse and neglect, financial insecurity, stigma, loss of confidence and self-esteem, and intergenerational conflict.

For those in their forties, it's essential to recognize the role that ageism plays in our society and understand how it can impact the lives of seniors. By becoming aware of and challenging our own biases and stereotypes, we can help create a more inclusive and equitable society for people of all ages.

One way to start addressing ageism is by becoming more aware of the language we use when talking about aging and older adults. Using positive and respectful language can help challenge negative stereotypes and promote a more accurate and nuanced understanding of aging.

Another way to combat ageism is by advocating for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults. This can include things like affordable housing, accessible transportation, and healthcare services that are tailored to the unique needs of seniors.

It's also essential to recognize and challenge the ways that ageism intersects with other forms of discrimination. For example, older women, people of color, and those with disabilities may face additional barriers and challenges due to the intersection of ageism with sexism, racism, and ableism.

Ultimately, addressing ageism requires a collective effort from people of all ages. By working together to challenge stereotypes, promote positive language and images, and advocate for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults, we can help create a more inclusive and equitable society for everyone.

It's important to note that ageism is not only a problem for older adults, but it also affects younger people as well. Ageism can limit opportunities for younger generations, create intergenerational conflict, and limit the development of quality programs and policies that can help safeguard against future harm.

In conclusion, ageism is a complex and pervasive social issue that has serious consequences for seniors. By becoming aware of and challenging our own biases and stereotypes, advocating for policies and structures that support the rights and needs of older adults, and promoting positive language and images, we can help combat ageism and create a more inclusive and equitable society for people of all ages.

To the love of my life, lets dance.

 In the poetry of life, the dance unfolds,

A burning violin, a tale to be told.

Dance me to your beauty, an enchanting embrace,

In the rhythm of kindness, a harmonious grace.

 

Through the panic of life, let kindness guide,

A dance that soothes, like a tranquil tide.

Gather me safely in your compassionate arms,

In the dance of empathy, where kindness warms.

 

Lift me as an olive branch, a symbol of peace,

In the dance of benevolence, worries cease.

Be my homeward dove, soaring above,

In the dance of generosity, boundless love.

 

To the end of love, let the dance extend,

A timeless waltz, a bond that won't bend.

In the ballroom of life, with stars above,

Witness the dance of kindness, a dance of love.

 

The burning violin plays a melody sweet,

In the dance of compassion, two hearts beat.

As kindness leads, in steps so light,

Dancing to the end of love, through the night.

 

So, let the dance continue, an eternal spin,

In the poetry of kindness, where spirits begin.

Dance me through the chapters, hand in glove,

A dance of kindness, a dance of endless love.

The symphony of life

In the symphony of life, a catalogue of 'afters' unfolds,

A melody of moments, precious and untold.

Navigating the score, with choices to make,

Wisdom realized, not to let moments forsake.

 

The coffee grows cold, a subtle metaphor,

For time slipping away, knocking on the door.

Priorities dance, a shifting ballet,

In the rhythm of life, they constantly sway.

 

Promises, like notes, can be easily lost,

In the hustle and bustle, the price is the cost.

The symphony plays on, a relentless stream,

Yet, the echoes of broken vows haunt our dreams.

 

Children grow, like the crescendo's rise,

A harmonious journey, a profound surprise.

Parents age, their notes slowly wane,

Yet, their wisdom lingers as an eternal refrain.

 

Life's rhythm doesn't pause for our delays,

It marches forward in mysterious ways.

As we dance to the beat, of the grand parade,

Each step we take leaves a mark, a cascade.

 

The symphony concludes, the final chord,

A poignant moment, the truth underscored.

In the silence that follows, reflections arise,

As we embrace the rhythm, where no echo lies.

 

So, let us conduct with purpose and grace,

Embrace each note, in this fleeting space.

For in the catalogue of 'afters,' we find,

The melody of life is profound and intertwined.

Back to the 60s

Many of us remember the 1960s but when we do we put our own lens on the era. For some, the 1960s was the era of peace and love filled with tremendous unrest and upheaval of the status quo. The civil rights movement new-wave feminism to a burgeoning counterculture movement gave rise to a conservative movement, Others upset by all of the unrest started quietly in the 60s to move toward a more conservative world view. This movement gained strength during the rise of Barry Goldwater and the eventual election of Richard Nixon, cumulating with the election of Regan in the US and Thatcher in England.

As is befitting for such a significant period, the speeches, songs, and rallying cries of the time proved to be particularly powerful and distressing. The 60s were a transformative era with a multitude of voices reflecting the diverse perspectives of the time. Here are fifteen quotes that capture the essence of the progressive movement, the conservative movement, and the unrest of the period:

Progressive Movement:

1. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King Jr., 1963
2. "Make love, not war." - Unknown origin, popularized during anti-Vietnam War protests
3. "The personal is political." - Carol Hanisch, feminist slogan
4. "Question authority." - Popular counterculture slogan
5. "Free your mind, and the rest will follow." - En Vogue, "Free Your Mind" lyrics, 1992 (reflecting ongoing sentiments)

Conservative Movement:

1. Extremism in defence of liberty is no vice...moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." - Barry Goldwater, 1964
2. "We believe that the Constitution of the United States is the greatest single document ever penned by the hand of man." - Barry Goldwater, 1964
3. "I am not a consensus candidate of the left or of the right. I am a man of the moderate middle." - Richard Nixon, 1968
4. "We shall overcome when we can say to every man or woman who is a Negro, in a spirit of brotherhood, 'You are free.'" - Richard Nixon, 1968
5. "Our great modern Republic. May those who seek the blessings of its institutions and the protection of its flag remember the obligations they impose." - Lyndon B. Johnson, 1965

Unrest of the Period:

1. "Hell no, we won't go!" - Vietnam War protest chant
2. "Come mothers and fathers throughout the land  And don't criticize what you can't understand, Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command." - Bob Dylan, lyrics from the song "The Times They Are A-Changin'," 1964
3. "Power to the people." - Black Panther Party slogan
4. “We are the Unwilling, Doing the Impossible, For the Ungrateful.” James L Kinsey, Unwilling Warriors: Surviving the Vietnam War
5. "The whole world is watching!" - Chant during the 1968 Democratic National Convention protests in Chicago

These quotes reflect the dynamic and often conflicting ideologies that shaped the 1960s and continued to influence subsequent decades. Many of these quotes still ring true today as our children and grandchildren continue to face some of the same struggles, we went through during the 60s. For many of us who were and still are progressive, it is hard to stay true to our ideals. Minority groups are still fighting for equal rights, war still ravages much of the world, and the arts continue to thrash against the sterility of corporate culture, and I could go on, but I won’t. In summary, these quotes act as navigational guides to remind us how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go.