THE "FORWARDER'S" 12-STEP PROGRAM.

Everyone, say it with me...

1.     I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I don't forward an e-mail.

2.     I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog if I do forward an e-mail.

3.     Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money and Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

4.     Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people.

5.     I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies From Coca-Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6.     I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ... NEVER --EVER!!

7.     There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

8.     There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS or GET-WELL CARDS.

9.     The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

10. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colourful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!

11. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!

Now, repeat the above to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months.