I'M A SONIC BOOMER: Men Are Just Happier People!

So, this is for all the women who have a sense of humor and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Men Are Just Happier People!

· What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.

· The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

· Chocolate is just another snack.

· You can never be pregnant.

· You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

· Car mechanics tell you the truth.

· The world is your urinal.

· You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.

· You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

· Wrinkles add character.

· Wedding dress - $5,000. Wedding suit rental - $100.

· People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

· New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

· One mood all the time.

· Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

· You know stuff about tanks.

· A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

· You can open all your own jars.

· You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

· If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

· Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

· Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.

· You almost never have strap problems in public.

· You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

· Everything on your face stays its original color.

· The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

· You only have to shave your face and neck.

· You can play with toys all your life.

· One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

· You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

· You can 'do' your nails with a pocket-knife.

· You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

· You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

NICKNAMES

· If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators or smart phones.

MONEY

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

· A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!