Patterns of communications

 

Play Patterns
Men Ritual opposition Creates hierarchy. Games have winner/loser -. Status conscious Low competency is painful. Centered around doing rules important. Conflict an important participant of play	Women Ritual connection Creates cooperative relationships. Best friends tell secrets. Relationship conscious Being an outcast is painful. Centered around talking. Rules not important Open conflict feared
Uses of Language
Men Challenge Defect control attempts. Take center stage. Who is up/down? Am I being pushed around?	Women Cement relationships Keep others from pushing isolating. Promote harmony. Are we close or distant? Am I being cast out?
Characteristics of Talking
Men Goal oriented Thinks in head. Comfortable giving own credentials. Volunteers’ ideas. Nodding means "Yes I agree" Comfortable with open challenge Not likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be respected	Women Shows involvement, caring. Thinks out loud. Uncomfortable giving own credentials. Waits to be asked for ideas. Nodding means "Yes, I understand" Not comfortable with open challenge Likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be liked
Most men will emphasize the ways they are more skilled then others. Most women will emphasis the ways they are the same