Patterns of communications

 

Play Patterns
Men Ritual opposition Creates hierarchy. Games have winner/loser -. Status conscious Low competency is painful. Centered around doing rules important. Conflict an important participant of play	Women Ritual connection Creates cooperative relationships. Best friends tell secrets. Relationship conscious Being an outcast is painful. Centered around talking. Rules not important Open conflict feared
Uses of Language
Men Challenge Defect control attempts. Take center stage. Who is up/down? Am I being pushed around?	Women Cement relationships Keep others from pushing isolating. Promote harmony. Are we close or distant? Am I being cast out?
Characteristics of Talking
Men Goal oriented Thinks in head. Comfortable giving own credentials. Volunteers’ ideas. Nodding means "Yes I agree" Comfortable with open challenge Not likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be respected	Women Shows involvement, caring. Thinks out loud. Uncomfortable giving own credentials. Waits to be asked for ideas. Nodding means "Yes, I understand" Not comfortable with open challenge Likely to ask opinions of others. Important to be liked
Most men will emphasize the ways they are more skilled then others. Most women will emphasis the ways they are the same

More ideas on effective communications

 Adaptive Communication

Effective communication involves adapting your style to your audience, whether it's a child, a newcomer, a senior, or a boss. Gender differences can add another layer of complexity. Understanding these differences can enhance mutual understanding and benefit.

Tips for Enhancing Cross-Gender Communication

For Men:

• Frame ideas as suggestions with background information.
• Acknowledge others' ideas and contributions.
• Avoid jostling or teasing humor, and invite others’ opinions.
• When a woman is under stress, listen without interrupting.
• Use paraphrasing, reflect feelings, and don’t try to solve the problem immediately.
• In informal conversations, include personal content like family, health, or activities.

For Women:

• Share ideas without waiting for an invitation.
• Make statements rather than suggestions or questions.
• Be concise and stay on track.
• Take up more physical space.
• Reduce the use of superlatives, apologies, and qualifiers.
• Volunteer relevant credentials.
• Ask directly for what you want.
• In informal conversations, include topics like sports, politics, money, or jobs.

Adapting your communication style to consider gender differences can lead to more effective and harmonious interactions. Practice and commitment to these adjustments can greatly enhance understanding and collaboration in today’s diverse world.

Do you have the will to believe or the will to doubt?

Bertrand Russell said, "William James used to preach the “will to believe. I should wish to preach the “will to doubt.” None of our beliefs are quite true; all have at least a penumbra of vagueness and error. The methods of increasing the degree of truth in our beliefs are well known; they consist in hearing all sides, trying to ascertain all the relevant facts, controlling our own bias by discussion with people who have the opposite bias, and cultivating a readiness to discard any hypothesis which has proved inadequate"

William James and his notion of the "will to believe" reflect a pragmatic approach to belief and action. James argued that in situations where evidence is lacking or inconclusive, individuals have the right to choose to believe in something if it leads to positive outcomes or makes their lives more meaningful. This idea is closely tied to the concept of pragmatism, emphasizing the practical consequences of beliefs.

On the other hand, the counterargument, presented by the "will to doubt," aligns with a more skeptical and critical stance. Here, doubt is seen as a valuable tool for refining our understanding of the world. The belief that none of our beliefs are entirely true acknowledges the inherent uncertainty and fallibility of human knowledge. This perspective suggests that fostering doubt can lead to a more accurate and nuanced understanding of the world.

Many schools of thought support the "will to doubt". The scientific method is a prime example of the "will to doubt." Scientists constantly question and test hypotheses, subjecting them to rigorous scrutiny. Through experimentation and peer review, scientific knowledge evolves, and incorrect or incomplete theories are discarded in favor of more accurate ones.

The education system often emphasizes critical thinking skills. Encouraging students to question information, analyze evidence, and consider alternative perspectives fosters a healthy skepticism. This approach helps individuals develop a more nuanced and informed worldview.

In democratic societies, a healthy skepticism is crucial for informed decision-making. Citizens need to question information presented by politicians, the media, and other sources to make well-informed choices. A population that engages in critical thinking contributes to the health of a democracy.

On a personal level, the "will to doubt" can be essential for intellectual and emotional growth. Being open to questioning one's own beliefs and biases can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

In fields like technology and innovation, doubting the status quo and challenging existing paradigms drive progress. Innovators and inventors often question established norms, leading to breakthroughs and advancements.

The "will to believe" may be pragmatic in certain situations, the "will to doubt" underscores the importance of skepticism and critical thinking in refining our understanding of the world. Both perspectives, when applied carefully, contribute to a balanced and informed approach to belief and knowledge.

Additional forms of communication to gain of give understanding

In my last post I talked about how we communicate to gain understanding.  We employ a wide array of communication forms to gain understanding, connect with others, and express themselves. Here are a few additional forms of communication we use  to gain understanding and information.

Nonverbally

Body Language: Gestures, facial expressions, posture, and other nonverbal cues can convey a wealth of information and emotions without the need for words.

Eye Contact: The way people make eye contact can convey sincerity, confidence, or even discomfort. It's a powerful nonverbal form of communication.

Visually

Painting, Drawing, and Sculpture: Visual arts are a powerful means of communication, allowing individuals to express complex emotions, tell stories, or convey abstract concepts through images and symbols.

Photography: Capturing moments in time through photographs is a way to communicate emotions, experiences, and perspectives visually.

Performce

Dance: Dance is a form of expression that transcends language. It can convey emotions, cultural traditions, and stories through movement.

Theater: Acting and stage performance are powerful tools for storytelling and conveying a wide range of emotions and ideas.

Digitally

Emojis and GIFs: In the era of digital communication, emojis and GIFs are used to add emotional nuance to written text, helping to convey tone and sentiment.

Social Media: Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook enable individuals to share thoughts, experiences, and emotions through text, images, and videos.

Scientifically 

Graphs and Charts: In scientific and technical fields, visual representations such as graphs and charts are used to convey complex data and trends efficiently.

Technical Writing: Clear and concise writing is crucial in fields where precise information needs to be communicated, such as manuals, reports, and academic papers.

Symbolically 

Flags and Symbols: Flags represent nations, and symbols can convey cultural, religious, or political meanings. These visual cues communicate identity and values.

Logos: In branding and marketing, logos are designed to convey the essence of a company or product in a simple and memorable way.

Intuitively

Intuition and Empathy: Sometimes, understanding comes through intuition and empathy, where individuals pick up on subtle cues and emotions to connect with others on a deeper level.

These various forms of communication highlight the richness and diversity of expression. They demonstrate that understanding can be gained through channels beyond traditional language, emphasizing the multifaceted nature of how we connect and share our experiences.

Comparison of Pensions from Germany, Britain, The Netherlands, Italy, Switzerland and Poland

In Canada we have a fairly good pensions system, so today I want to take a look at the work done by  Prof. Dr. Barbara Riedmüller - Freie Universität Berlin - Otto-Suhr-Institut für Politikwissenschaft - FB Politik- und Sozialwiss and her comparison of pensions in a number of European countries, so we as North Americans can see what European countries are doing to help seniors.

A New Way To Communicate

In the past few days, there has been an opportunity for me to think about empathy, motivation and realism, and a number of people have emailed different links on these areas. So I would like to share some thoughts from Steve Denning 

You've probably seen those artists at conferences, who work at the back of the room and put together a fascinating set of sketches of what was being discussed during the conference. After the session is over, you go over and have a look at it and you can see the threads of the conversation often amusingly depicted on a large board. But there's a lack of connection between the experience of listening to the talk and then later viewing the drawing.

Well, what if the artist was at the front of the room? And what if the sketches were being done in real time, perfectly in sync with what the speaker was saying? You would have a new way to communicate.
  
I was intrigued by his email and I decided to explore and found this interesting channel on YouTube  The RSA . I have for the past few years enjoyed TED (see this link for an explanation of how the idea came about, and this link for a link to TED) and the exploration of new ideas and the way they present the ideas, but  the Royal Society of Arts in London has done more with a series of talks. What's interesting is that they have taken a fairly slow moving fifty minute talk, and turned it into a fast-paced mesmerizing ten minute barn-burner. Astonishing but not surprising. as the RSA (Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce) has been a cradle of enlightenment thinking and a force for social progress for over 250 years.

To learn more about the RSA, visit: http://www.thersa.org/

Do we speak the same language?

English is not simple even for those of us who are native speakers even though (in this case) one of us was from Canada and one of us from Australia. 

We were talking about communication and I relayed the following story. 

 I was at the counter, the server was busy at the back, and she asked me to wait a few minutes. In Australia the response to this kind of request is usually “No worries”, in Canada the response is slightly different and I responded “Not a problem”. Wrong response, when she was finished the work she were doing the woman came over to me and very aggressively said to me” What is your problem then?” I realized I had made a mistake and quickly said,” have no problem, it’s a Canadian response similar to your No worries.” She looked at me and laughed and said “Your from Canada then?” The atmosphere changed and she took my order even though the kitchen had just shut down. 

My friend said, “Rob (her husband) almost was in a fight because of lack of communication.” It turned out that Rob was in a discussion with a customer whose position he could not understand, so Rob said to him “I don’t know where you are coming from” but before he could say anything more the man started yelling about Rob being prejudiced and not liking where the man was born and the words became very heated. I understood what Rob was saying as would most of us who grew up using similar idioms and slang—Rob was saying to the man, I do not understand your position on this subject. The issue did not go away although Rob did lose the sale as the issue became more about perceived prejudice rather than misunderstanding of one’s position.

.Small things make for big understandings, so I think it is important to listen and not react too quickly to what you hear. What was said, may not have been what was meant