“A” is for “apple” and “B” is for “boat”,
That used to be right, but now it won't float.
“Age before beauty” is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now here’s a New Alphabet for you to enjoy
See how many letters your body parts employ!
A is for arthritis;
B's for a bad back,
C's for the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line?
F is for farting and fluid retention,
G is for gut droop, which I'd rather not mention.
H is for high blood pressure that used to be low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that each crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next. . .
N is for neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, old bones that don't grow!
P’s for prescriptions, I have quite a few —just give me a pill and I'll be
good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or just flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus or bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; some troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know.
W is for worrying about what's going around?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is for another year I'm still kicking around,
Z is for zest for still being above ground!
I've survived all the symptoms my body's deployed,
And keeping plenty of specialists fully employed!
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