The Dream-Wright’s Workshop: An Open Letter to the Masters of Time

 Let me let you in on a secret, one they don’t print in the manuals or the morning papers. It’s a truth so simple, so powerful, that it can feel like finding the hidden key to a forgotten garden:

People believe what they want to believe. And this, alone, explains what they have or don’t have.

Let that simmer for a moment. Does that make your entire flipping day or what?!

It means the world is not a fixed, immovable sculpture, but a lump of the most wonderful, pliable clay. And you, my friend, with a lifetime of fingerprints upon your hands, are the master potter. You have seen dreams take shape and you have seen some fall away. But the workshop is still open. The wheel is still spinning. The clay is still moist and waiting.

Some will tell you that the time for dreaming is behind you. They will speak of retirement as a finish line. But they have forgotten the oldest magic of all: Dreams come true, if you believe. That’s what they do. The only variable is when. And my goodness, what is time to a soul that has already collected so much of it? You have the profound advantage of knowing that "when" is a flexible, friendly concept, not a demanding tyrant.

Now, you have a choice of two paths to your dream. Think of it as two different recipes for the same magnificent cake.

There is the recipe for delay. It reads like this: Resist the first step. Attach yourself to every reason it might not work. Insist that it’s too late. Deny your own capabilities. Stop before you begin. Second-guess every single idea. Whine about the obstacles. Argue with your own inspiration. Defend your limitations. Protest that it’s just not the way things are done. Cry over spilled milk from decades ago. Struggle mightily against the current. And finally, ask others when you already know the answer yourself.

It’s a tiresome, familiar dance, isn’t it? You’ve probably seen this recipe before. It makes a very dry, unsatisfying cake.

But then, there is the other way.

This recipe is for the nimble of heart. It goes like this: Visualize your dream so clearly you can smell the sawdust of your new workshop or taste the tomatoes from your garden. Pretend you are already there, just for a moment, and feel the joy of it. Prepare one small thing today, buy the seeds, call about the class, check out the book. Dodge the naysayers, even the one in your own head. Roll with the small setbacks. Serpentine! Zig when they expect you to zag. Be unpredictable in your pursuit of joy.

Do not waver over intentions. A dream either is, or it isn’t. Alternate your approaches. If the paintbrush feels heavy, try the pen. If the wood is stubborn, try the clay. Release your doubts like old balloons, watch them float away and disappear. Show up, even when nothing happens. Sit in the chair, look at the garden plot, hold the instrument. Your presence is a promise. And most importantly, keep giving thanks in advance. Thank the universe for the beautiful painting not yet finished, for the thriving garden not yet harvested, for the melody not yet perfectly played. Gratitude is the fertilizer for dreams.

You need to believe in yourself not with the brash confidence of youth, but with the quiet, unshakable certainty that comes from having survived, adapted, and loved through decades. You have already built a life. You have already navigated storms. What is a dream but the next, most delightful project?

So, what will it be? The garden, the novel, the reconciled friendship, the learned language, the volunteer project that changes a life. That dream isn’t a ghost from your past; it’s a patient friend waiting in your future, tapping its watch with a smile, wondering what on earth is taking you so long to arrive.

The workshop is open. The clay is in your hands. Believe, and begin.

The Day Smiles Took Over the Town

A story  built with whimsy. and some truth.

 It started, as most great revolutions do, with something small, a single smile.

Old Mrs. Pennington, who ran the corner bakery, had been up since dawn coaxing her famously grumpy sourdough to rise. When it finally puffed up just right, she felt so triumphant she smiled at it. A big, lopsided grin. Then she carried that grin to her shop door, where she greeted the first customer of the day, a sleepy delivery driver, with a cheery, “Good morning, love!”

He blinked, startled, and then, something shifted. His own mouth twitched upward. A smile. He carried it with him to the next stop, where he handed a parcel to a harried young mother whose toddler was mid-tantrum. The mother smiled back, just barely, but it was enough to quiet the storm for a second.

And just like that, the Great Smile Uprising began.

By mid-morning, the coffee shop was full of laughter. Someone paid for the next person’s latte, which led to a chain reaction of random acts of kindness so rapid it could’ve powered the town’s Christmas lights. A teenager helped an elderly man find his keys. The mail carrier left daisies in someone’s mailbox. The mayor, usually as stiff as a frozen waffle, was spotted whistling on his way to City Hall.

All this because kindness, like yeast in Mrs. Pennington’s bread, can’t help but rise.

Meanwhile, in the park, two old rivals, dog walkers who had long debated whose canine companion was superior, ran into each other. Usually, this encounter would have sparked the annual “best tail wag” argument. But today, something was different. One of them, inspired by the day’s mysterious goodwill, simply smiled. The other, caught off guard, forgot to be defensive and smiled back. Their dogs, reading the mood, wagged their tails in perfect unison. Peace was declared without a single bark.

By noon, love had quietly taken charge. It didn’t arrive with fanfare or fireworks, it never does. Love slipped in through small gestures: a door held open, a compliment given, a text that said , “thinking of you.” It spread softly, wrapping around people like sunlight through a window.

And just when the local cynic tried to resist, grumbling about how this was all “nonsense,” a child skipped up, handed him a dandelion puff, and said, “Make a wish.” The old man stared at the flower, at the bright eyes that offered it, and felt something unfamiliar tugging at his lips. He smiled.

By evening, the whole town glowed. The air seemed lighter, like the world had remembered how to breathe. No laws had changed. No grand speeches had been made. But love had won every unspoken battle, kindness had quietly conquered every corner, and smiles, those gentle, magical curve-shaped miracles, had disarmed every doubt, every shadow, every grumble.

And so,  it was settled, at least in that little town:

Love always wins.
Kindness always prevails.
And smiles, always, always, disarm.

Lets have some fun and try to predict the future

 A friend of mine sent me an email that talked about what a difference a century makes, he circulated the information, and it is interesting and some of it is not true. So, here is a table tha it more realistic. His original 1925 stats are a colorful mix, some accurate (like home births), others more legend than fact.

The correct information from Wikipedia so take with a grain of salt.

 Life expectancy for men: 47 years

• For the total U.S. population, life expectancy in 1925 was 58.5 years, according to demographic data Wikipedia.
• The “47 years” figure refers to life expectancy at birth in 1900, not 1925 Wikipedia.
• Thus, 58.5 is the accurate 1925 figure.

2. Eggs cost 14¢ a dozen

• USDA data for 1925 shows average egg prices in Washington state were about 32¢ per dozen NASS.
• Additional sources say 26¢ to 47¢—but 14¢ appears too low FacebookOne Tube Radio.
• A realistic average: around 30¢ per dozen.
•  

3. Other claims

• Fuel sold in pharmacies, bathtub in only 14% of homes, phones in only 8%, speed limits 10 mph, flag had 45 stars, etc.—these all stem from a nostalgic “What a difference a century makes” post, probably circa 1917/early-1900s Facebook.
• Many are evocative rather than rigorously accurate.
• Without independent verification,  treat them as “interesting period lore” but flag them as anecdotal or needing confirmation.

4. Average income & wages

• Average net income in 1924 was $3,481.26 IRS.
• IPUMS data suggests per-capita earnings in 1925 were $1,276 IPUMS USA.
• The bold claims of $200–$400/year etc. seem off, likely underestimates or misremembered.

5. Home births

• In the early 1920s, only around 5% of U.S. women gave birth in hospital—thus, about 95% of births took place at home does appear correct

Life expectancy was not 47 in 1925—that was circa 1900. It had risen to ~58.5 by 1925.

Eggs cost closer to 30¢ a dozen, not 14¢.

Income was in the low thousands (per-capita/net income ~ $3,500).

Once I found credible information, I created a  time-traveling thought experiment, inviting us to stretch our imagination from 1925 to 2125!

Item	1925	2025 (inflation-adjusted or real)	2125 (futurist projection)
Life expectancy at birth (men)	~58.5 years	~78.5 years (today)	100+ years? (genetic senescence therapies may push average to ~120)
Eggs (dozen)	~30¢	~$4.50	~$67 (unless synthetic eggs disrupt pricing)
Fuel sold in pharmacies (lore)	True as anecdote	Now, EV charging stations everywhere	Biofuel kiosks dosing air taxis at corner shops
Bathtubs in homes	~14%	~98–100%	Hydrotherapy pods standard in every bathroom
Telephone ownership	~8%	~95% (smartphones)	Neural implants for communication
Births at home	~95%	<1% (nearly all hospital)	AI-assisted at-home pod-birth with virtual doula
Average income per year	~$3,480	~$50,000–$60,000 (median today)	Unconditional basic income of $50k+ annual

 

The five main causes of death in 1925 were::
1. Pneumonia and flu
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

Current  Leading Causes of Death in the U.S.

The top five causes, based on CDC data and recent reporting, are:

1. Heart disease – the leading cause
2. Cancer (malignant neoplasms) – second
3. Unintentional injuries (e.g., accidents, opioid overdoses) – third CDC+1New York Post
4. Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases) – fourth CDC New York Post
5. Chronic lower respiratory diseases – fifth (though Alzheimer’s, diabetes, and others follow closely) CDC+1

A notable shift: COVID-19, once near the top in 2020–2021, has declined to around the 10th leading cause by 2023

Looking ahead here is what one futurist predicted would be the leading causes of death in 2 Possible Top 5 Causes in 2125:

1. Neurodegeneration (e.g., Alzheimer’s and emerging brain diseases)
• As lifespans stretch past 100, age-related neurological conditions could dominate.
2. Cardiometabolic system failure from aging (e.g., heart failure, arrhythmias)
• Even with gene therapies, wear-and-tear and electrical dysfunctions (like advanced AFib) may persist Statesman.
3. Novel pandemics or climate-related infectious threats
• Imagine engineered viruses, climate-triggered zoonoses, or antibiotic-resistant “superbugs” rising.
4. AI/tech-related fatalities (e.g., malfunction, autonomous vehicle disasters)
• If technology is deeply embedded—autonomous systems, cyborg implants, etc.—risks from malfunctions or cyberattacks could become significant.
5. Mental health crises leading to self-harm
• Loneliness, digital dependence, or VR-related dissociation might drive this category.

Here  is he original post that helped me do some research

The year 1924. Already a hundred years ago

What difference does a century make? Here are some statistics for the year 1924:

The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for cars was only sold in pharmacies.
Only 14% of houses had a bathtub.
Only 8% of households had a telephone.
The maximum speed limit in most towns was 10mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage in the United States in 1925 was 22 cents an hour.
The average American worker earned between $200 and $400 a year.
A competent accountant can expect to earn $2,000 per year.
A dentist earned $2,500 a year.
A veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year and, a mechanical engineer approximately $5,000 per year.
More than 95% of all births took place at home
Ninety percent of all doctors have attended so-called medical schools, many of which have been condemned by the press and, by the government as being "substandard".
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs cost fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from enteringtheir country for whatever reason.
The five main causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and flu
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars...
The population of Las Vegas was only 30 people.
Crosswords, canned beer and iced tea had not yet invented.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of 10 adults could neither read nor write and only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin and morphine were all available over the counter in local pharmacies.
At the time, pharmacists said: "Heroin clarifies the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach, intestines and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.
Surprising isn't it!
Eighteen percent of households had at least one servant or full-time domestic help... Often it was an aunt single or an immigrant parent newly arrived in America.
There have been approximately 230 reported murders across the ENTIRE United States.
ho would have thought that in 1925, that you could receive this text in few clicks and now you can transmit it to someone else anywhere in the WORLD in seconds!
Can we imagine today what we will be able to do in 100 years?

Not really. 

See you in 100 years...

 

31 Themed Dad Jokes for May

1. I told my grandma that spring vegetables keep you young. She started eating carrots daily—now she's seeing better days!
2. My 80-year-old neighbour planted too many flowers this spring. I guess you could say he's suffering from perennial overachievement.
3. Why did the senior gardener win the spring planting contest? Because she had years of ex-seed-ingly good experience!
4. My grandpa's spring diet consists solely of alphabet soup. He says he's trying to increase his word count.
5. What do you call a senior who loves springtime birdwatching? A wise old owl!
6. My grandmother started eating dandelion greens this spring. She says they make her feel less lawn-ly.
7. Why do older folks love spring picnics? Because they've been around long enough to know when it's thyme to relax!
8. My grandpa's spring garden is so impressive, the neighbours call him the elder-berry statesman.
9. What did the senior say when asked about spring cleaning? "At my age, just being awake is housework!"
10. My grandmother makes springtime smoothies with prunes. She calls them "nature's fast track."
11. Why did the senior yoga class move outdoors in spring? They wanted to be outstanding in their field!
12. My grandfather's favourite spring activity is mushroom hunting. He's a real fun-guy for his age!
13. What did the retired farmer say about spring planting? "These days, I grow mostly memories, and they don't need watering!"
14. My grandma's spring beauty tip: "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have bloomed."
15. Why don't seniors mind April showers? Because they've weathered far worse storms!
16. My 90-year-old aunt started eating sunflower seeds this spring. She says she's planting happiness for her golden years.
17. What did the senior gardener say about her spring tomatoes? "They're late bloomers, just like me!"
18. My grandfather started drinking carrot juice every spring morning. He says it helps him see his way to retirement.
19. Why do seniors love spring walks? Because it's nice to go at your own pace after being cooped up all winter!
20. My grandmother planted mint in her spring garden. She says it makes cents to grow your own tea.
21. What's a senior's favourite spring flower? Forget-me-nots—though they can't remember why!
22. My grandfather says eating spring asparagus keeps him young. It certainly keeps him regular!
23. Why did the senior join the spring bird-feeding club? For the cheep therapy!
24. My grandmother's spring motto: "If life gives you rain, look for rainbows. If life gives you lemons, make sure they're not your medication."
25. What did the senior say about spring cleaning? "Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture!"
26. My grandfather started eating honey this spring. He says he's sweet enough already, but it helps with his bee-havior.
27. Why do seniors love spring salads? Because they've earned the right to enjoy the fruits of their labor!
28. My 85-year-old neighbour plants tulips every spring. She says they're easier to see than those tiny pansies!
29. What's a senior's favourite spring exercise? Jumping to conclusions!
30. My grandmother says eating fresh spring strawberries keeps her heart young. I think her heart was always berry special.
31. Why did the senior gardener talk to her spring plants? After all these years, she finally found listeners who don't interrupt!

April Showers Bring May Flowers and other Dad Jokes to pass the time

 

1. Why did the cloud apply for a job?
   Because it wanted to rain on everyone's parade... professionally!

2. What do you call a flower that grows after a thunderstorm?
   *A bloom with a boom!

3. I tried to plant a joke during April showers...
   But all I got was a puny stem and a lot of groans!

4. Why don’t flowers ever gossip?
   Because they don’t want to spread daisy rumors.

5. I asked my tulips how they liked the rain...
   They said, “We’re blooming with joy!”

6. Why was the umbrella so successful in April?
   Because it always made covered calls!

7. What do you call a polite rainstorm?
   Precipi-gentle.

8. Why do flowers always get invited to spring parties?
   Because they really know how to petal to the metal!

9. What did the raindrop say to the seed?
   “Hang tight, I’m about to shower you with potential!”

10. Why are spring flowers terrible at lying?
    *Because you can always see right through their stems!

11. Why did the Easter Bunny start a podcast?
    To hop on the latest trends!

12. What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
    A funny bunny with hare-larious timing!

13. Why was the Easter egg feeling down?
    Because it cracked under the pressure!

14. How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?
    Egg-ercise and a hopping good diet!

15. Why don’t Easter eggs tell secrets?
    Because they might crack up!

16. What do you get if you cross the Easter Bunny with a computer?
    A hare-drive that always downloads candy!

17. Why was the bunny so good at business?
    Because he had a lot of egg-sperience!

18. What kind of stories does the Easter Bunny write?
    Egg-sistential ones with hopping plot twists!

19. Why did the Easter Bunny go to therapy?
    Too much eggs-istential dread around springtime.

20. What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite type of music?
    Hip-hop, of course!

21. I told my calendar a joke for National Humor Month...
    Now it’s stuck on April Fool’s Day!

22. Why did the dad joke go to school?
    *It wanted to be a little more pun-ctual!

23. I tried to write a serious book this April...
    But every chapter kept turning into a punchline.

24. Why was the stand-up comedian such a great gardener?
    He had a natural talent for growing laughs!

25. What's a dad's favorite type of humor?
    Puns—because they’re groan-worthy, just like him!

26. I told a joke about construction...
    But I’m still working on the punchline!

27. How do you know if a joke is a dad joke?
    It becomes a-parent! (apparent)

28. Why did the chicken start doing improv?
    *To cross the road with no script!

29. What’s a skeleton’s favorite month?
    April—because humor tickles their funny bone!

30. I wanted to be a professional joke writer…
    *But I couldn't make a living pun!

They walk among us

 The following is from a Facebook post by Laugh Until The Tears Run Down your legs!! 

I was at the checkout of a local Walmart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again. I gave her the money back -- same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us! .....

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' "They're already buy-one- get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free." She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us! .....

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends,

when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"

Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"

They Walk Among Us! .....

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north; because, he explained,

he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime; she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!! .....

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.

One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us! .....

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us! .....

My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.

Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us! .....

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" So I replied, "No Ma'am, The Pilot told us we're circling the airport, 3rd in line to land."

They Walk Among Us! .....

While working at a pizza place, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six. He thought about it for some time before responding.

"Just cut it into four pieces. I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."

Yep, they walk among us.... bless their hearts

A look at ageing and relationships with humour

 My wife and I were watching TV, and a commercial came on for a wrinkle cream.

She said, "Do you think I should try that?"

I said, "Why? You're not the target demographic yet."

And that's when the fight started.

I told my wife, "You still look as beautiful as the day we met."

She smiled and said, "Aww, that’s so sweet!"

Then I added, "Except now, your beauty comes with more character lines."

And that's when the fight started.

We were at the doctor’s office for our annual checkup, and the doctor asked if I was staying active.

I said, "Does chasing after my wife when she can’t remember where her keys are count?"

And that’s when the fight started.

I was flipping through our wedding album when my wife sat next to me.

She said, "Do you think I’ve changed much since then?"

I replied, "Not at all! The photo just needs better lighting now."

And that’s when the fight started.

My wife was doing yoga in the living room, and I said, "Wow, you’re really flexible for your age!"

She smiled and said, "Thanks!"

I added, "Yeah, your joints make all kinds of interesting sounds now."

And that's when the fight started.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.

She said, "Something that’ll make me feel young again."

So I handed her a coloring book and crayons.

And that’s when the fight started.

My wife told me she read an article that said a positive attitude can help you age gracefully.

I said, "Great! You’re already aging; now you just need the grace part."

And that’s when the fight started.

We were grocery shopping, and I grabbed a pack of energy drinks.

My wife said, "Don’t you think you’re a little old for those?"

I replied, "Well, I’d grab the prune juice, but you already put it in the cart."

And that's when the fight started.

I was reading the newspaper when my wife asked, "What does the horoscope say to me?"

I said, "It says you should stop asking me questions while I’m trying to read."

And that’s when the fight started.

My wife said, "Let’s make a bucket list for our golden years."

I said, "Sure, as long as it includes sitting quietly and not spending money."

And that’s when the fight started.

A bevy of very old jokes for recycling in 2025

My wife asked me to take her to one of those fancy places where they serve small portions of food on big plates.

So I took her to a hardware store.

And that's when the fight started.

I was in the kitchen when my wife asked, "What's for dinner?"

I replied, "Whatever you're making smells amazing!"

She wasn't cooking.

And that's when the fight started.

My wife was putting on makeup, and I asked, "Why do you wear so much makeup? You look great without it."

She smiled and said, "Really? That’s sweet!"

Then I added, "But with it, you look amazing on Zoom calls."

And that's when the fight started.

My wife was struggling to open a jar, so she handed it to me.

After I opened it easily, I said, "Looks like you loosened it for me."

She replied, "At least I loosened it, unlike your sense of humour."

And that's when the fight started.

I asked my wife, "Honey, where do you want to go for our anniversary this year?"

She said, "Somewhere I've never been before."

I said, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his

drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he

hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot

as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.