No one asks the coffee bean how it became so rich.
It simply
became something wonderful after enduring pressure, heat and time.
Life is
much the same.
Most of us
have been through a little roasting of our own. We have endured pressure,
experienced disappointments, lost people we loved, changed direction, started
over and occasionally wondered what on earth was going to happen next.
Yet here we
are.
A little
older. A little wiser. Perhaps a little more grateful for the simple things.
And one of
those simple things is sitting across the table from a friend with a cup of
coffee between you.
The best
conversations don't happen when we are watching the clock. They happen when we
put down the phone, look someone in the eye and ask, "How are you
today?"
Then, and
this is the important part, we need to actually listen to the answer.
We live in
a world where communication has become remarkably easy. We can send a message
to someone on the other side of the world in seconds. We can email, text, post,
comment, like and share.
Yet
sometimes, with all these ways of communicating, we seem to have forgotten how
to talk.
A real
conversation takes time.
It requires
curiosity. It requires listening. Sometimes it requires silence.
And
occasionally it requires another cup of coffee.
Funny how a
two-dollar cup of coffee can leave you feeling like a million bucks.
But
friendship isn't just about looking backward and remembering the good times.
Good friends also help us look forward.
That brings
me to another thought I've been considering lately: perhaps there aren't
recurring themes in our lives as much as there are recurring choices.
We choose
whether to reach out.
We choose
whether to answer the phone.
We choose
whether to accept an invitation.
We choose
whether to remain curious about what might happen next.
And we
choose whether to leave a little room in our lives for surprise.
As we get
older, it is tempting to think we know how the rest of the story is going to
unfold. We have lived long enough to recognize patterns. We know what usually
happens. We have learned to be cautious.
But what if
the next chapter contains something we couldn't possibly have planned?
What if a
casual conversation over coffee introduces you to someone who changes the
direction of your life?
What if an
old friend calls after years of silence?
What if you
say yes to an invitation, you nearly turned down and discover a new interest, a
new group of friends or an entirely new adventure?
What if a
stranger hears something you have written or something you have done and says,
"I think you should meet someone"?
Life has a
funny way of opening doors we didn't know were there.
Sometimes
the most interesting things happen when we stop trying to orchestrate every
moment.
So, when
you imagine your future, don't visualize only the things you have carefully
planned.
Leave some
room for magic.
Imagine
yourself laughing with friends about the bizarre chain of events that somehow
brought you to an unexpected opportunity.
Imagine the
phone ringing with an invitation you never expected.
Imagine
meeting someone who becomes an important friend.
Imagine
discovering that something you thought was a small decision turns out to be the
beginning of a much bigger adventure.
And don't
forget the coffee.
Because
friendship often begins with something remarkably ordinary.
"Want
to grab a coffee?"
That simple
question can become an afternoon conversation.
The
conversation can become a friendship.
The
friendship can become an adventure.
And the
adventure can become one of those stories you tell for years.
Perhaps
that's one of the secrets of getting older: we don't have to manufacture magic.
We simply need to remain open enough to recognize it when it appears.
So, call
someone.
Invite them
for coffee.
Ask how
they are doing, and then give them enough time to tell you.
You might
discover that they needed the conversation as much as you did.
And who
knows?
You might
even discover that the next surprising chapter of your life begins with two
people sitting across a table, two cups of coffee, and a question as simple as:
"So,
what have you been up to?"
